Body Dysmorphia??? and something else?

Options
kellywitcher13
kellywitcher13 Posts: 21
in Health and Weight Loss
Okay so I have been trying to search this for a very long time. I know I am fat. I weigh over 300 Pounds. I KNOW I am fat... When I look in the mirror, I don't see the fat. I feel a little chubby, but I don't think I look that big or wide at all. When I see pictures of myself, it like hits me that I am three people in one body. That I am disgusting. See when I think of body dysmorphia, I think of a super skinny girl looking in the mirror and seeing fat. Is it the same thing for reversed being super fat but seeing maybe not so fat? I won't take pictures of myself. I don't have a scale. I don't go out in public. Its like I dont have the moment of OMG I need to lose wieght and I need to do it now. I just keep planning and Never do it. I just dont understand myself... What do I do?

Replies

  • madrose0715
    madrose0715 Posts: 463 Member
    Options
    Absolutely it can be in reverse. I fight dysmorphia going in both directions. When I was at my heaviest (245), I could not see it in the mirror at all...I knew I was heavy, but not that heavy. I looked back on a pic at that weight recently (on my profile) and was just astonished. But, I still take pictures, because I have a hard time seeing my body as it is now..over 70 pounds lighter. Photos seem to be the only way that I can get a real idea of how my body is looking.
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    Options
    I feel you. I could barely see past my boobs at my heaviest and so I never realized the additional weight I carried below them until I looked at photographs and then I felt disgusted with myself.

    And now, it's the opposite. I'm 'normal' in BMI/bodyfat and yet I am completely dissatisfied with the way I look.

    Self-love is a fickle thing.
  • kellywitcher13
    kellywitcher13 Posts: 21
    Options
    I know when I had lost 40 pounds a year ago, I didn't notice until I saw pictures before I lost it. Of course I have gained 80 pounds back so now I just have no idea... I dont know how to push myself to get healthy. I can barely walk around outside for 30 minutes before wanting to die cause im so out of breath.
  • JRSchumaker
    JRSchumaker Posts: 93 Member
    Options
    Not understanding yourself is exactly what a good therapist can help you with. Seriously! My suggestion is that you seek out a professional for some insight, and some help with the dysmorphia.
  • xDawnsgrace
    xDawnsgrace Posts: 436
    Options
    i've lost 37 pounds, and i'm still convinced i look the same as i did when i was heavier. But then, i didn't **see** that my weight was an issue.
  • phoo513
    phoo513 Posts: 231 Member
    Options
    I truly believe that compulsive overeating is an addiction within the same frame work as anorexia and bulimia. We use food or withhold food the way others are addicted to drugs, alcohol, sex, gambling, etc. The same pleasure/pain centers in the brain are involved. If you are not ready to see a therapist , which is a very good thing to do, log onto OverEaters Anonymous site and just read the info and stories that they have on site. I am not saying you must become a member, but they do have very interesting things to say about how we view ourselves, how food is our drug, and how, sometimes, we really do not see ourselves as others see us. Take care of yourself, treat yourself kindly, and if the only exercise you can do is 30 minutes around the house, celebrate the fact that you are up and doing that! Be Well, my friend.
  • strivingfor130
    strivingfor130 Posts: 221 Member
    Options
    Body dysmorphia is when you perceive something is wrong with your body...like you think your nose is too big, or your hips are too wide and you are not happy about it, and it is thought consuming and you continuously try to fix the problem. I think you just have trouble accepting that the picture you see is the reality of what you really look like. It's like a disconnect from who you see in the picture compared to who you see in the mirror. If you haven't had your "OMG, I need to lose weight now." moment then that just means maybe right now you accept your body as it is.
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
    Options
    Well I don't know what the disconnect is. I knew I was/am really really fat. But, I still didn't really see it as "THE" problem. It doesn't matter though. You can make healthier choices even if you don't see the need to lose weight. It's really ok I started long before I saw the need to lose weight, I just started making better choices and that resulted in losing weight. Then I landed here a couple months later and started counting calories. You could so something similar. You could replace one meal with a lower calorie meal and cut maybe one snack if you snack and have more than one in a day. And take a short walk everyday and work yourself up to an hour a day if that is the only exercise you can tolerate. It doesn't have to be a big monumental task just make a few lifestyle changes commit to them and you will lose weight as a side effect. When you start to feel better it will encourage you to want to do more.
  • stephenszymanski
    stephenszymanski Posts: 114 Member
    Options
    i've lost 37 pounds, and i'm still convinced i look the same as i did when i was heavier. But then, i didn't **see** that my weight was an issue.

    I'm in the same boat. I look in the mirror and see a fat person. Pictures and clothes becoming bigger on me are the only thing that really indicates to me that I am different. It sucks.

    When I was at my heaviest, I didn't see it.. even though not being able to fit into clothes anymore should have been enough of an indication. I just didn't see it.

    Now that I've lost over 30 pounds, I still struggle. I look in the mirror and I barely see any change, even though clothes that used to be tight are getting huge on me..

    I just keep on working though. It can be discouraging some days, but I don't let it stop me from running and lifting.
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
    Options
    i've lost 37 pounds, and i'm still convinced i look the same as i did when i was heavier. But then, i didn't **see** that my weight was an issue.

    I'm in the same boat. I look in the mirror and see a fat person. Pictures and clothes becoming bigger on me are the only thing that really indicates to me that I am different. It sucks.

    When I was at my heaviest, I didn't see it.. even though not being able to fit into clothes anymore should have been enough of an indication. I just didn't see it.

    Now that I've lost over 30 pounds, I still struggle. I look in the mirror and I barely see any change, even though clothes that used to be tight are getting huge on me..

    I just keep on working though. It can be discouraging some days, but I don't let it stop me from running and lifting.

    I struggle with this. It was much worse before and it's a lot better now. I'm finally learning that I can easily fit into booths at restaurants, that I can buy 1-2XL shirts and they fit fine. I've read that for some people, your mind takes a long time to catch up.

Categories