any cops around or people with advice

I would definitely start a paper trail as indicated above...get a big protective dog and take it everywhere, alert security at your work, install motion-detector flood lights around your house, install a security camera, alert family of the person's make/model of car & license plate, have defensive weapons around your house,

I also agree with starting a paper trail...get a history going of what this guy is doing.

I had to move to escape a stalker, to this day I dont even know who it was. But when I moved, I left everything behind. I never knew when they were watching, and was afraid if I did an actual move, they would just follow the truck to my new home and find me again.

So I only put a few things in my car...some clothes and some of my daughters toys, went about life as usual for a few days, and then one day I drove off and simply never went back to my apt. Once I got to my new place, I told me ex and my landlady that I moved, told him he could have everything and had him arrange with my landlord getting everything moved out.

I didnt trust *anyone* so the only person who had my new address was my big sister. No one else. I even got a ups box and forwarded all my mail to that. That was the only way I was able to shake my stalker. I had to start from complete scratch in a totally empty apartment, but it worked. Hope that helps.

Get it anyway. Yes, it can easily be breached but it is a start. Laws vary depending on where you are but many places are getting tougher on domestic violence which could mean if he breaches there will be more reprecussions. And like someone else's said it's a paper trail.

Start a journal keep track of the details of the harassment/stalking. Dates, times, who was with you, where it was, what was said/happened. Again, laws vary but these details help to prove a charge and will refresh your memory if it ever goes to court.
It's one thing to say "he stalks me, he shows up where I am, phones me etc" it's another thing to say " on this, this, this, this and this date he was here, on these dates he did this". KWIM.
Keep notes of when you make reports to Police, file numbers, dates, times, the officer you spoke to.


Do not have any contact with him. Do not respond to anything he sends or says.

And Self defence classes.

Exactly this, the more detail you have about the conduct the easier it is to get people to take it seriously and to do something about it. A restraining order will add to the weight of this. I'm not 100% sure what the law is like in terms of breaching a restraining order in the US but it will be taken pretty seriously here in Australia especially where there have been past instances of similar breaches. Even if he ends up violating it, it can be a good tool to get some action taken against him.

I say go to the cops.

I had a stalker once, but I didn't go to them, and he raped a friend of mine, then came after me, would NOT leave me alone, after I found out what he did, he kept coming around, just showing up in my driveway (I still live with my Mom, but this was about when I was 18. He showed up once and refused to leave and kept touching me, so I beat him in the driveway with a baseball bat until a neighbor had to call the cops. He was told to leave and he did. Cops didn't do much that time with no evidence of his stalking, he was just a 'tresspasser'.
But I hadn't seen him since then, but did recently find out he's in a mental institution. (We'd been friends before his stalking, and he wasn't stable in the least bit)

My Fiance stalked me in a non creepy way for 5 years. Just putting that out there LMAO!

I'm pretty sure that's nowhere even close to what the OP was referring to

Get it anyway. Yes, it can easily be breached but it is a start. Laws vary depending on where you are but many places are getting tougher on domestic violence which could mean if he breaches there will be more reprecussions. And like someone else's said it's a paper trail.

Start a journal keep track of the details of the harassment/stalking. Dates, times, who was with you, where it was, what was said/happened. Again, laws vary but these details help to prove a charge and will refresh your memory if it ever goes to court.
It's one thing to say "he stalks me, he shows up where I am, phones me etc" it's another thing to say " on this, this, this, this and this date he was here, on these dates he did this". KWIM.
Keep notes of when you make reports to Police, file numbers, dates, times, the officer you spoke to.


Do not have any contact with him. Do not respond to anything he sends or says.

And Self defence classes.

Definitely this! And I hope this is obvious advice, but don't post your location and other personal info on facebook, foursquare or other equivalents. So many people just do a stalker's work for them.

I second this. The security tips mentioned above are good suggestions as well. If you do get a restraining order, make sure that it is enforced. If you see him or if he contacts you, call the police right away. A co-worker of mine, who is in law enforcement, said that it's really important to have that paper trail and to be ready to call the police if the restraining order is violated.

Good luck to you.

I'm not a street cop, but I am a Corrections officer. I supervise a sex offender unit. There are some very messed up people in the world and I have the fortune of babysitting some of them. So this os my advise based on my experience with them.

An injunction or restraining order is definintely the way to start. The paper trail is the only thing a judge will look for in a stalking situation. If there isn't one, then it can't be proved that you complained. Get that done asap.

Next, post no tresspass signs all over your property.
Then go to Lowes, Home Depot, etc and get a set of security cameras. They are very inexpensive and prove to be VERY useful of you cath this guy outside your house.

Then go get a firearm. As the saying goes, I'd rather be judged by 12 than carried by 6. If you'd like to start smaller, or have something against guns, get pepperspray, a tazer, an expandable baton, SOMETHING.

Then get the training on how to use it. Most ranges are full of people just itching to share their knowledge, especially if you tell the story. Or, you can contact your local PD on available trainings. There usually is some sort of RADD training or self defense class going on through them as well.

The cameras, and the restraining order are just ways of proving to a court that he is a dangerous person and belongs off the street. The gun/tazer/pepperspray/baton/defese class are for YOU. That is the most important thing to remember. You are the one who wants to walk away from this alive. Not everyone goes looking for danger, sometimes it comes looking for you...You need to be ready.

Good luck, I hope everything works out.

If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared.

I like that one.

If an injury has to be done to a man it should be so severe that his vengeance need not be feared.

I like that one.

Yeah, and its like 500 years ago and still rings true.

thank you all of you. i have my brother in law and his gf moving in with me and my hubby. we are going to home depo to get a chain lock and security alarm. fortunately my gym offers defense classes by one retired cop whos worked out there for years. also my local ups has pepper spray for around 10-15 bucks. also buying some heavy curtains for my apartment

Wait you are married, and he knows this and still stalking you?

Reminds me of this story from a lady in Galveston,Texas. She had a stalker for 2 years and he tried to grab here a couple of times, even though she had a restraining order against him. She finally left here door open one day and he tried to check on her, she emptied a clip on his torso. Extreme solution but she got to walk thanks to Texas law.

Everything that has already been said + try to get a picture of him off facebook or something. Then take this picture to your neighbours telling them that he is stalking you, is dangerous and they need to call the police immediately if they see him anywhere near your house. Tell neighbourhood watch as well, if your neighbourhood has it.
Neighbours are great guards..

Also let your friends/family know and show them the picture, so they can keep an eye out with you when you are out and about.