Families can alway be counted on for one thing....

GrnEyz · July 2008

To frustrate the day-lights out of you!!

My mother especially! I know I've mentioned this many many times before, but ONCE AGAIN I have to vent. Last night she tells me "I'm so tired of being fat....so I'm starting my diet tomorrow" So I laugh..."ok mom" (she does this almost every night). "no Julie, I'm serious, I'm starting tomorrow" "yea mom, I've heard that before too" but she still insists that she's starting her "diet" today. So.....lunch time comes and what happens? She goes to red robin for lunch!! THEN me and my sister who are really trying to lose weight and do good, suggest getting the single serving angel food cakes and we'll have a better version of strawberry shortcake. So what does my mom bring home??? TWENTY-FOUR cupcakes...for 6 PEOPLE!!!!:explode: Her excuse "Well, I looked everywhere and couldn't find the angle food cups"

Ohhhhh, well in THAT case!!! The cupcakes make TOTAL sense since you couldn't find the angel food! :grumble:

I swear it's like shes too lazy to try to lose weight, and instead of being supportive of me and my sister it's like she wants to sabotage us and keep us fat right along with her! Everytime I think I'm ready to move back home (I'm living with my sister-n-law and brother during school break) she pulls something like this and I figure there's no way I can ever live with her again! It hurts to feel like I can't be around my own mother anymore.:brokenheart:

Thanks for listening to my rant

GrnEyz · July 2008

To frustrate the day-lights out of you!!

My mother especially! I know I've mentioned this many many times before, but ONCE AGAIN I have to vent. Last night she tells me "I'm so tired of being fat....so I'm starting my diet tomorrow" So I laugh..."ok mom" (she does this almost every night). "no Julie, I'm serious, I'm starting tomorrow" "yea mom, I've heard that before too" but she still insists that she's starting her "diet" today. So.....lunch time comes and what happens? She goes to red robin for lunch!! THEN me and my sister who are really trying to lose weight and do good, suggest getting the single serving angel food cakes and we'll have a better version of strawberry shortcake. So what does my mom bring home??? TWENTY-FOUR cupcakes...for 6 PEOPLE!!!!:explode: Her excuse "Well, I looked everywhere and couldn't find the angle food cups"

Ohhhhh, well in THAT case!!! The cupcakes make TOTAL sense since you couldn't find the angel food! :grumble:

I swear it's like shes too lazy to try to lose weight, and instead of being supportive of me and my sister it's like she wants to sabotage us and keep us fat right along with her! Everytime I think I'm ready to move back home (I'm living with my sister-n-law and brother during school break) she pulls something like this and I figure there's no way I can ever live with her again! It hurts to feel like I can't be around my own mother anymore.:brokenheart:

Thanks for listening to my rant

Carrie6o6 · July 2008

Why not be supportive of her as well? Even though she never does what she says... You want her to be supportive, so why not be supportive? My sister and mom always gave me food like that when I told them I don't want it. Eventually I just started saying no. It takes time, but is possible. I understand your frustration though. But we may not be able to change them, but we can change how we react to situations like that. :flowerforyou:

Oh I just remembered one thing... And when you do get the will power to say no, and you do so... I just love the look on their face... its like "rrrrrrr" and then they have all that high cal food to eat for themselves hahahaha

gabi_ele · July 2008

I have the solution for your problem, I trade you for my daughter in law, you get all the support you need, I feed you salads with low fat dressing, make diet cakes, cook great low calorie meals and you can swim in the pool all you want. All you have to do is take care of my grandkids and Son and if we make plans for you to visit I would like it if you didn't change them at the last minute( after I have already bought the extra stuff for the weekend) I would also appreciate if you would say hello when you come into my house and talk to me every once in a while. I would be also ever so grateful if you could help me straighten up after I made a big meal for all of you....(instead of planting your butt on the couch and taking a nap while I do the dishes)
Ok thank you for letting me rant, the next time your mom brings home food that is unhealthy think about all the sugar in it that will spike your bloodsugar and make you crash in an hour and all the perservatives that will make your liver shrivel up and think about how nice you will look and how better you will feel if you don't eat it...

tparkin · July 2008

OMG!!! I almost thought I was reading a post I wrote not long ago!!! I know exactly how you feel. I just finally had to realize that she would have to decide if or when she would finally do something, though I feel ya on how annoying to hear someone talk about how determined they are to get healthy as they stuff a big mac in their mouths and say tomorrow under their next breathe.

Just think of how inspirational it could be for her to see you succeed at reaching your goals!! I know it's hard because everyone wants the support of those that are closest to you but that doesn't always come........BUT..........

THAT"S WHAT WE"RE ALL HERE FOR!!!!!!
UNCONDITIONAL SUPPORT!!!!!!
:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

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shkaki · July 2008

i hear you guys! My mother is very very supportive, her and my father started changing thier lives for the better about 2 years ago! its my fiance's family that is hard to get around. and that makes it worse because if it was my mom i would just tell her that i'm not eating it cuz i dont want to get fat, but with his mom and sister, and the REST of his family, they're constantly shoving unhealthy food at me and giving me a hard time because i'm not eating it. and i DO say no, but they all get in on it and keep bringing me pieces of cake and cheese cake and cookies, and saying "come on you're hurting our feelings". So far i've held strong and said no everytime. I just dont know how to express to them how it makes me feel when they do that without sounding Beeotchy!

any suggestions?

GrnEyz · July 2008

Wowsers Shkaki, thats tough that your in-laws do that! What I would do is just say "i'm sorry that your feelings are hurt, but I am working really hard to be healthy, and I really don't want any cake, pie, cookies" hmmmm, now I'm craving cake, pie and cookies! :laugh:

Ok, so I've had a really good dinner tonight, and I went for two (albeit short) walks today. and I'm telling you it's taking every ounce of willpower I've got not to dig into those cupcakes! I'm even smacking on minty gum to help stop me!! I'm half tempted to take a sleeping pill so I can go to sleep and not cave in!! lol

TNTPete · July 2008

You are probably right, she doesn't want to be alone in her status of no control. It is hard to say no to those yummy treats, you know this. And I think Carrie brought up a good point, you should be supportive of her too. She may say it over and over but if you always say yeah sure then .. what support is she getting from her family?? Good point.
Something I learned a while ago; your parents are people. They are not superhuman and can't jump over tall buildings in a single bound. They have weaknesses and they have vices. I know that crushes the image we have from childhood that they are perfect and 100% supportive etc. I think you may be expecting too much from them at this point. It's like asking a smoker for support for quitting smoking....
And as everyone has already said; you don't always get the support you want from those you want it from. This is something for you. It will make you stronger and your will power will increase ten-fold if you continue to say NO to the extra fat pills (my term for anything like donuts, cakes, etc) lying around because YOU want to. (If I feel like I want a little I have a bite and immediately throw the rest away in the garbage. :blushing: Can't eat it then...)

TNTPete · July 2008

So far i've held strong and said no everytime. I just dont know how to express to them how it makes me feel when they do that without sounding Beeotchy! any suggestions?

On a day prior to being shoved sweets and such, maybe even over the phone...
I would say to them; I am working so hard at losing some excess weight and I really need you guys for support. It would mean so much to me if I could come over and hang out but I won't be able to eat all the goodies laying about but it is not because I don't like your cooking I just need to do this for myself. Or something about not wanting to hurt their feelings, etc. See if you can get their support before they bake the goodies and such so when you say no they already know.

If you've tried and this doesn't work I would have hubby talk on your behalf and lastly, less visits to their house until you feel you really feel resolved in your decision.

Katy009 · July 2008

i hear you guys! My mother is very very supportive, her and my father started changing thier lives for the better about 2 years ago! its my fiance's family that is hard to get around. and that makes it worse because if it was my mom i would just tell her that i'm not eating it cuz i dont want to get fat, but with his mom and sister, and the REST of his family, they're constantly shoving unhealthy food at me and giving me a hard time because i'm not eating it. and i DO say no, but they all get in on it and keep bringing me pieces of cake and cheese cake and cookies, and saying "come on you're hurting our feelings". So far i've held strong and said no everytime. I just dont know how to express to them how it makes me feel when they do that without sounding Beeotchy! any suggestions?

OMG!!! That is REALLY, REALLY bad. Next time you should say, ok...I will eat your cake and cookies so as not to hurt your feelings if you will smoke some crack with me afterwards.......I mean, come on!!!!!

shkaki · July 2008

hahah that would be great if i said that!!! the thing is, im a personal trainer, so they know that i'm a healthy person. worst part (and i know none of you want to hear this) i havent had cake, cookies, pie...etc for almost 14 years, don't even remeber what it tastes like. So its not really the craving and trying to stay away from it or being temped by it, its the pure fact that i just dont eat it. I've tried to turn it around saying, ok i'll have some but then you have to eat something you dont like, with me ok. But most people don't understand that since almost all people are addicted to sugar. Its a very strange situation, but thanks so much for your advice! my in laws are great except for that one part, so i guess I'll just deal with it when it comes up and hopefully as time goes by they'll just accept it HAHA

hope you all had a good weekend!!

Families can alway be counted on for one thing....

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