I'm a pro at unhealthy weight loss

needtoloseafewpounds · July 2013

Hi everyone! I'm actually not new to weight loss. This is going to be a really long read, so if you don't like to read, this is just a brief story about a girl who lost weight with no knowledge, turned annorexic, gave up on annorexia, gained weight, and is now losing weight again with some knowledge.

When I was about 13-14, I actually lost 45 pounds within 2 months and maintained an underweight BMI (5'2" 92 pounds) for about 3 years. I was semi annorexic and all of my friends encouraged me to eat more and exercise less. I already knew in my heart that I had a problem so I encouraged myself as well. Eventually I gave up maintaining my weight for about the next 4 years and enjoyed the good ol' potato chips and carbs,carbs, and carbs. The last time I had a good run on the treadmill was maybe in 2009. LOL Anyway, my boyfriend of 3+ years now has told me that I'm starting to gain weight to a dangerous level last year and I wanted to disagree with him but who can disagree with the mirror? I was a hippo squeezed into (korean) size 29 jeans with fat overflowing from the sides. So after saying "I'll go to the gym tomorrow and start my diet tomorrow" about 365 times, I finally got myself to go to the gym last week on June 24th.

I should have recorded my weight the first week but I didn't. However, I did record this week Monday and I was at a whopping 64.5 KG (142.2 lbs) and I'm excited to report that by the next day I dropped down to 63.0 KG (138.9 lbs). I'm pretty sure the drastic weight change has to do with water/gas/and other factors, but I'm still happy. I weighed myself yesterday and I raised to 63.2 KG but I'm used to fluctuating weight so I'm still totally happy (plus I step on the scale after gulping on about 5 bottles of water during and after exercise).

ANYWAY. I really have to thank the women who have shared their weight loss techniques on YouTube. Back when I was a teen I was so scared to eat because I didn't understand how calories, BMR, and metabolism worked. I just thought that if I ate 800 calories I had to exercise 800 calories off so I probably ate on average 100-300 calories a day and burned 300-500 calories by hiking up the mountain trail next to my house every single day. It was unthinkable that you could actually burn 1500 calories a day just by being alive. This time, I researched about how 3,500 calories make a pound, I researched about BMR, and I just know a lot about my body in general now. I also started a food diary. At first I really doubted that food diaries could help but I decided to give it a try.

To be honest, I thought that since I didn't eat a lot, it was weird that I was gaining weight. I finally found out where all of my calories have been coming from: soda, fruit juice, green tea lattes (one freakingfrappucino is 440 calories. Kill me nowww), black tea lattes, etc. I've been drinking more calories than I've been eating. I was so shocked that now I'm loving this food diary concept. I also hit the gym 5 days a week for about 3 hours which consists of 1 hour and 30 minutes of cardio, sit ups, stretching, weight training, and, my favorite, resting.

Since I'm impatient, I've cut my calorie intake to about 600-800 calories a day but I do eat a little over 600 on average. Once I get to a desirable weight, I'll increase my calorie intake to 1200 or more. On weekends I do eat a little more and I try to skip on exercise to give my body a break. I'm pretty realistic now and I'm 100% sure that I won't lose 45 lbs in 2 months again this time, but I'm happier the way I am now since I have knowledge of what I'm doing. Hopefully by the end of next month I'll be down to 120 lbs (wishful thinking). Good luck everyone and thanks if you read this far!

:) :flowerforyou:

Zombielicious · July 2013

If you're working out for 3 hours a day, 5 days a week, then you need to eat significantly more than 600-800 calories a day. You're probably burning most of that, if not all (depending on your intensity), just from your 1.5 of cardio!

needtoloseafewpounds · July 2013

Thanks for the reply! I actually do lenient/lazy cardio so I guestimated with the help of an exercise calculator that I burn about 364 calories through cardio

I speed walk at 3.5 mph for an hour and I cycle at a speed from 12.5-13.5 for 30 minutes.

Zombielicious · July 2013

If you are, in fact, burning about 364 calories and are consuming only 800 (on a "high calorie" day)...your body is only functioning on 436 calories. That's not healthy at all.

I would try this site: http://www.fat2fitradio.com/tools/ to help give you an idea of what you should be consuming. It's probably closer to 1600, if your goal weight is 120 pounds...definitely no less than 1200-1300 (if you want to jump start your weight loss) though.

Not trying to be "preachy" or anything...just trying to help. :flowerforyou:

sbarella · July 2013

You lost tons of weight then you regained a lot: cutting your calories so much obviously doesn't work. You have the proof. Some people don't understand why they should eat at least 1200kcal/day, they say "hey, if I eat less I'll lose weight quicker!", then they experience failure. You have already been there, you experienced it's not healthy and it's not even effective in the long run.
Learn from your mistakes, as we all do

needtoloseafewpounds · July 2013

@Zombielicious - I know it's not healthy and I'm so thankful for your concern but everyone around me including my family is pushing me to lose some pounds so I just want to get some pounds out of the way as quick as possible. I plan on going slow after I drop a few though.

@Gustaaf85 - Thanks for the reply! I honestly absolutely do not believe in starvation mode because I have been semi-annorexic before for a full 3 years. My abs were still there and my fat was nil. I have gained 40 pounds very gradually over the course of 4 years but as I have stated, it has been very gradual. Also, starting this year I grew a habit of drinking an entire jug of whatever fruit juice I had at home within 1-2 days so I gained about an extra 10-13 lbs within a few months this year. What really got me was the fact that I was so set on unstarving myself so I just ate whatever as therapy (i had to force cake down my throat for a week) to get rid of any existing phobia I had. This then led to bad eating habits and I gradually minimized exercise until I completely stopped being active. I can see that you're in the process of losing weight so you should understand that maintaining a certain lifestyle can being very tiring. It requires a lot of commitment and I just dropped the commitment.

@sbarella - Thanks for the reply

I just plan on cutting my calories to 600 until I lose about 10-20 lbs. From then on I plan on eating 1200 and adjusting my lifestyle. After I hit about 100 lbs I plan on eating 1500-1600 calories. ^^ I swear to myself that I will never gain it back because not being able to fit in your clothes is a big pain. I have at least 4 pairs of jeans with their buttons popped off. :blushing:

MzManiak · July 2013

Oh yeah, I'm not going to be on heroin forever... just until so and so happens, then I'll be happy and can quit.

I guess it's true what they say, anorexia is not something that is cured. It is always a part of the person, an addiction that they have to continually overcome.

I really hope our concern is not discouraging you from using the site... but it saddens me that even when you have so much knowledge about how many calories your body uses a day... you still choose to lose weight this way.

It doesn't matter what anyone says about you. Why shouldn't you do this the right way from the very beginning? Why let other people force you into an unhealthy way of living. You are regressing back to anorexia. And after you worked so hard to overcome it. :frown:

Rhayahana · July 2013

On that little calories and the cardio your body is going to be very efficient at storing fat very quickly. You should always eat a minimum of your BMR, it's what your body needs to function. And that does not even include training calories that you might burn. (that would be your TDEE).
Fast weightloss usually doesn't give lasting results, slower is better usually, so your body can adjust accordingly.

Read some topics on the forums, google a bit, and use common sense. Surviving on 500-ish calories is just that: surviving. I can't imagine you have any energy at all on that little!

Good luck.

Ang108 · July 2013

It seems you still have learned a.b.s.o.l.u.t.e.l.y n.o.t.h.i.n.g.....sorry.

hottamolly00 · July 2013

Oh yeah, I'm not going to be on heroin forever... just until so and so happens, then I'll be happy and can quit.

I guess it's true what they say, anorexia is not something that is cured. It is always a part of the person, an addiction that they have to continually overcome.

I really hope our concern is not discouraging you from using the site... but it saddens me that even when you have so much knowledge about how many calories your body uses a day... you still choose to lose weight this way.

It doesn't matter what anyone says about you. Why shouldn't you do this the right way from the very beginning? Why let other people force you into an unhealthy way of living. You are regressing back to anorexia. And after you worked so hard to overcome it. :frown:

What she said. ^

To the OP: I think you need to seek some mental help. I would like to be supportive on the weight loss front, but it sounds like you know what you're SUPPOSED to do, but you CHOOSE to continue your extreme dieting ways. I'm sorry, but this is something a mental health professional needs to handle. You really need someone to help you get over your obsession with eating so little. By the way, you're "whopping" 140 pounds is kind of offensive. There are people on here who are struggling with 400+ pounds to lose. Please get some help. Please.

yellowsnowdrop · July 2013

I agree with the poster above and if your family are pressing you to loose weight at the 'whopping' weight you are now (being a tad sarcastic here) then they too need education. You HAVE to know that 600-800 cals a day isn't healthy and as someone who has struggled with eating the whole of my life (I was anorexic some 20 odd years ago and STILL now have days when I would quite happily not eat at all) I can ABSOLUTELY tell you that the quicker you loose the quicker you gain. This time I'm going slow and you need to up your calories lazy cardio or not.
Sorry if this sounds a bit harsh but you need to wake up and realise that what you are doing to yourself is FAR from healthy.

needtoloseafewpounds · July 2013

@dpenaloza - Thanks for the reply

I understand your concern and I can see how you would still feel that I'm annorexic. I have actually calculated my BMR and it is at about 1450 -1500. Since I am fairly short (5'3"), my BMR would be lower than an average person's BMR. I then calculated that in order to lose decent weight I would have to go 950-1000 calories and then I figured that I could have a good jump start with 600-800 calories. I guess just putting numbers like these out here would be alarming but I don't believe that I eat 600 calories even though I may write it down. "Maybe the banana could have been bigger than usual or the milk had more fat in it than usual. Maybe I put more salad dressing in today." There's a lot of factors that play into calories so I just guess the best I can and I'm pretty sure the numbers should go from around 700-750 but I can never be too sure. Also I plan on just kick starting this with good motivational results. I'm a lot different from when I was younger and I do occasionally grab a piece of chocolate and I will eat my full bowl of rice nowadays. I will post my progress often if you really are concerned

@Rhayahana - Thanks for the reply ^^ Yes, yes. I've heard about the "starvation mode" on the internet quite a lot. I've always learned to eat 500 less than your BMR and mine just happens to be at around 1450-1500. I need to recheck mine. It's been a long time since I last worked out like this so my cardio workouts are pretty lazy but consistent. I managed to do 5 days a week for 2 weeks and I have managed to do 1 hour and 30 minutes with the same intensity each time. Although I do say that I eat 600-800 calories, I do feed myself energy rich snacks such as bananas, nuts, cereal with milk, or assorted vegetables (it's different every day).

Hi_Im_Jess · July 2013

If you are 5'2 and weigh 138 lbs, you are just about in the "healthy range" losing 45 lbs will take you back into the underweight category.. That is not a healthy goal and you are not eating enough to be able to function properly, much less work out on a regular basis. I'm not going to be mean or nasty, but I do think that you need to seek help regarding your anorexia. It has not gone away. You might feel that you have done your research and are going about things the healthy way but you are not. You will cause significant damage to your body if you continue to eat below 800 calories a day.. and as for your boyfriend and your family telling you that you should lose weight, that is ridiculously insensitive. You are a healthy weight now, especially considering your history, nobody should be commenting on your weight unless it is a danger to you, which its not right now but will be if you starve yourself back down to an unhealthy weight. Please seek help and keep yourself healthy. You are too young to be causing so much damage to yourself.

snejkaxo · July 2013

Fruit juice was the first thing my doctor told me to cut out, when I gained weight. Then I did a lot of reading about nutrition and obesity, and I decided to remove as much refined sugar from my diet as possible. This is what made the biggest difference in my weight loss success. Now I'm just following suggested BMR as closely as I can (not based on MFP calculator, but from different source), and it seems to work for me. So do your research, read what experts in the field say (not experts in Googling), and then stick to the plan! Good luck in your journey!

needtoloseafewpounds · July 2013

What she said. ^

To the OP: I think you need to seek some mental help. I would like to be supportive on the weight loss front, but it sounds like you know what you're SUPPOSED to do, but you CHOOSE to continue your extreme dieting ways. I'm sorry, but this is something a mental health professional needs to handle. You really need someone to help you get over your obsession with eating so little. By the way, you're "whopping" 140 pounds is kind of offensive. There are people on here who are struggling with 400+ pounds to lose. Please get some help. Please.

Excuse me, but are you a doctor? A psychiatrist? I don't think so. Don't diagnose me with a mental illness if you are not a professional. I have never intended to offend others if that's what you're accusing me of. I was just making fun of my own weight the same way everyone makes fun of my weight right now. I don't think you know how many times I hear "lose weight" in a day. I live in Korea and if you lived here, you would know that I'm considered obiese here so you can take your unprofessional and far more offensive remarks and leave. Please.

@yellowsnowdro - How old are you? Please don't tell me that my family needs to be educated. One more thing, it's not "loose," it's "lose." I can tell the difference between destructive criticism and constructive criticism and you two posters are only using destructive criticism which is not only offensive but also very unprofessional. Thank you and good bye.

juliegrey1 · July 2013

Hi hope all is well with you,I started to read your story and at the beginning you said you were huge with lots of fat spilling out over your jeans to be honest i expected to read you weighed about 200 lbs,then you say you are 5 2 and 142 lbs,I felt worried,Im 5ft 2 and 146 lbs at the moment I eat 1600 cals a day no matter whether I exercise or not and honestly I am not enormous,Im hoping to get to 136 lbs but if I never do it dosnt matter,Im very fit and active and thank God healthy. I simply cannot understand how you could be enormous,honey I feel you should have counseling to help with your anorexia,its not gone away ,you need to see yourself in a positive light,what you are doing now is harmful!I wish you the very best!

Some_Watery_Tart · July 2013

Well, I'm sorry to hear that you still think it's ok to abuse yourself like this. Let me just say, without even knowing you, that I know you ARE a person of value. You are loved, and you deserve love. Most of all you deserve love from yourself. I hope you can learn how to love yourself.

Second, as the child of a person who suffers from anorexia, please consider seeking help. You mentioned how quickly it works, and then you stop and slowly gain weight, then you go back. My mom is currently in the 7th cycle of anorexia that I recall witnessing--there were several before I can remember. Each time she does this, she does more damage. She has lost almost 100 pounds in the last 6 months. Last time, she was hospitalized for kidney failure. This time, she is losing her hair, her teeth are starting to decay, and she may not survive this round because of the heart and kidney damage the previous rounds caused. But she won't listen to us. At 54 years old, my mom could die because she wants to be skinny. She will leave behind a husband of 34 years, 6 children, and 6 grandkids because she wants to fit in a size 2. She can't just love herself like we love her.

My sister recently confided in me that she's been throwing up after she eats because she "doesn't have the self-control to just not eat that our mom does". And so the disease has now spread to my gorgeous 19 year old sister who has her whole life ahead of her.

You may not have control over this. You may not be able to break this cycle you have started. Please consider talking to someone before you force your loved ones to stand by and witness you slowly killing yourself.

hottamolly00 · July 2013

@dpenaloza - Thanks for the reply I understand your concern and I can see how you would still feel that I'm annorexic. I have actually calculated my BMR and it is at about 1450 -1500. Since I am fairly short (5'3"), my BMR would be lower than an average person's BMR. I then calculated that in order to lose decent weight I would have to go 950-1000 calories and then I figured that I could have a good jump start with 600-800 calories. I guess just putting numbers like these out here would be alarming but I don't believe that I eat 600 calories even though I may write it down. "Maybe the banana could have been bigger than usual or the milk had more fat in it than usual. Maybe I put more salad dressing in today." There's a lot of factors that play into calories so I just guess the best I can and I'm pretty sure the numbers should go from around 700-750 but I can never be too sure. Also I plan on just kick starting this with good motivational results. I'm a lot different from when I was younger and I do occasionally grab a piece of chocolate and I will eat my full bowl of rice nowadays. I will post my progress often if you really are concerned

@Rhayahana - Thanks for the reply ^^ Yes, yes. I've heard about the "starvation mode" on the internet quite a lot. I've always learned to eat 500 less than your BMR and mine just happens to be at around 1450-1500. I need to recheck mine. It's been a long time since I last worked out like this so my cardio workouts are pretty lazy but consistent. I managed to do 5 days a week for 2 weeks and I have managed to do 1 hour and 30 minutes with the same intensity each time. Although I do say that I eat 600-800 calories, I do feed myself energy rich snacks such as bananas, nuts, cereal with milk, or assorted vegetables (it's different every day).

Your BMR is an indicator of how many calories you need to survive if you were in a coma. This means, if you were in a coma, this is how many calories the nurses would feed you through a tube in order to maintain your current weight. To repeat previous posts, your weight is actually in the "healthy" range already. On this site, "kickstarting"/"crash dieting"/etc... is NOT recommended. I'm sorry to tell you the truth, but you just have to start slow and understand that at your starting weight, you WILL NOT lose 1 pound per week. You'll probably lose .2 to .8 per week if you're going at a healthy rate. Might I suggest doing a strength training program? You'll actually GAIN weight, but your body composition will become more muscle/less fat and your physique will improve. What's more important to you? A low number on the scale? Or a body that looks freaking HOT!

likitisplit · July 2013

From GoKaleo.com:

I have a rather revolutionary opinion on what the primary goal of any weight loss program should be (well, I don’t think it’s revolutionary, but I’ve been told it is by others…). And that opinion flies in the face of human nature. Human nature wants immediate and dramatic results. Unfortunately, immediate and dramatic results often come at the expense of long-term metabolic health, and lead to equally immediate and dramatic weight regain once one stops doing the things that produced the immediate and dramatic results. And rest assured, one WILL stop eventually, because the things that produce immediate and dramatic results are rarely sustainable or safe.

No, as far as I’m concerned, the primary goals of any weight loss program (aside from weight loss of course) should be:

-preservation of lean mass (muscle, bone, organ)
-preservation of metabolic health (which lean mass preservation supports)
-successful long-term (ie, permanent) maintenance of a healthy weight once it is achieved

The methods that promote those goals end up being, by most people’s standards, pretty moderate.

Extreme Diets Produce Extreme Results

You know what they say, ‘everything in moderation’? Moderation catches a lot of flack in the fad diet world. We’ve got gurus declaring entire food and macronutrient groups off limits, other gurus advocating replacing multiple meals a day with powdered supplements, others recommending inhumanely low calorie intakes, and now I’m seeing more and more extreme mono-diets (diets consisting of only one food such as potatoes, fruit, milk or even just water, perhaps with a splash of flavor from spices, or broth). Any of these techniques can produce rapid weight loss for a number of reasons: dehydration, extreme calorie deficit producing loss of lean mass along with fat, low palatability producing a spontaneous calorie reduction, etc. Unfortunately, along with rapid weight loss frequently comes loss of lean mass (1, 2) and a reduction in resting metabolic rate (RMR) (3), which together prime the body for subsequent rapid fat gain when ‘normal’ eating behaviors are resumed. In other words, losing lean mass and depressing one’s RMR are a great way to get fatter in the long run.

If a person can reach a healthy weight with lean mass and RMR intact, they stand a much better chance of maintaining that loss in the long-term. So how do we minimize lean mass loss and protect metabolic function? There is a massive body of evidence supporting exercise during weight loss a means to preserve both lean mass AND healthy metabolic function. In my opinion, any successful weight loss program will prioritize supporting the establishment of habitual regular physical activity, and will progress at a pace that will allow for the preservation of the greatest degree of lean mass as possible. See what I did there? Framed healthy weight loss as a process of sustaining and supporting, rather than reducing and restricting. This is an important distinction.

Read more: http://gokaleo.com/2013/03/19/moderation-is-evidence-based/

needtoloseafewpounds · July 2013

**** To all of those that tell me that I'm a healthy weight and I need mental consultation, I felt that same way too but everyone else doesn't. Especially my mom, my dad, my sister, my cousins, my aunties, uncles, employers, and my boyfriend, ETC.. If you came here to Korea, you would understand my very situation. Here in Korea, underweight is healthy weight. Rather than feeling the need to starve myself again, I feel that I just want everyone to stop looking at me the way they do.

@juliegrey1 I'm sorry if I offended you although that was beyond my intention. But one thing I should mention is that we could have the same height and weight, but I could still be fatter than you because as I have said this before it has been years since I've had a proper work out so my muscle percentage is low and my fat percentage should be very high. If you are slim at your weight you must have a good fat percentage and you sound very beautiful.

@SarahCafe79 - Thank you for the speech about me being a person of value. I am sorry to hear about your mother and I feel very bad for reminding you of such a situation. It's just that as I am losing weight, my mom is looking at me every day with a smile and excited for me to be slim. My goals are much better now, though. I don't wish to drop 100 pounds but maybe 30-35. I just wish to be a healthy slim figure once again. To be honest, even at that weight I wouldn't be considered slim where I live...

DopeItUp · July 2013

Interesting. You wrote a novel about how you are an expert at unhealthy weight loss and how you've learned to do it right. And then you outline your plan that shows that you haven't learned anything at all. Exercising for 3 hours a day and eating 600 calories is pretty much still anorexia. You're eating way too little and exercising way too much. Please listen to all of the good advice on how to set your caloric intake. If you've done your research on BMR and safe deficits then you would already know that 600, 800, whatever is way too low, especially with that amount of exercise.

needtoloseafewpounds · July 2013

@hi_im_jess - Hello, thanks for the reply. My goal is definately not to lose 45 pounds. I plan on getting to 100-110 lbs. This is considered healthy weight.

@snejkaxo - I don't know if I could ever let go of the refined sugars, but I definately cut back on my fruit juices. Thanks for the reply

needtoloseafewpounds · July 2013

@hottamolly00 - Thank you for switching to constructive criticism.

@vardaemi - Thanks for the info. I'll be sure to check on it before I go to bed.0

@DopeitUp - I may be in the gym for 3 hours but I don't necessarily exercise for 3 hours. I do rest quite a lot after cardio. My guess is that I don't burn anything over 400 calories. Even 400 calories would be much more. I do eat more than 600 calories and I was just trying to make a range so that I don't give any false number pertaining to what I'm eating.

mushroomcup · July 2013

@Rhayahana - Thanks for the reply ^^ Yes, yes. I've heard about the "starvation mode" on the internet quite a lot. I've always learned to eat 500 less than your BMR and mine just happens to be at around 1450-1500. I need to recheck mine. It's been a long time since I last worked out like this so my cardio workouts are pretty lazy but consistent. I managed to do 5 days a week for 2 weeks and I have managed to do 1 hour and 30 minutes with the same intensity each time. Although I do say that I eat 600-800 calories, I do feed myself energy rich snacks such as bananas, nuts, cereal with milk, or assorted vegetables (it's different every day).

You've learned wrong. The general rule is TDEE (total daily energy expenditure) minus 500 calories. BMR, as someone mentioned previously, is what your body burns when you are in a coma/doing absolutely nothing.

TDEE - 500 calories will cause you to lose approximately one pound per week, which is a healthy and feasible amount. All you are doing with your severe restriction is causing stress on your body and messing up your metabolism. It isn't smart. I kind of hope you're trolling, because if you are being serious, you are really putting your health at risk for vanity and approval of those around you.

I hope you can take everybody's advice on this and reevaluate your plan.

hdtracy · July 2013

Well, I'm sorry to hear that you still think it's ok to abuse yourself like this. Let me just say, without even knowing you, that I know you ARE a person of value. You are loved, and you deserve love. Most of all you deserve love from yourself. I hope you can learn how to love yourself.

Second, as the child of a person who suffers from anorexia, please consider seeking help. You mentioned how quickly it works, and then you stop and slowly gain weight, then you go back. My mom is currently in the 7th cycle of anorexia that I recall witnessing--there were several before I can remember. Each time she does this, she does more damage. She has lost almost 100 pounds in the last 6 months. Last time, she was hospitalized for kidney failure. This time, she is losing her hair, her teeth are starting to decay, and she may not survive this round because of the heart and kidney damage the previous rounds caused. But she won't listen to us. At 54 years old, my mom could die because she wants to be skinny. She will leave behind a husband of 34 years, 6 children, and 6 grandkids because she wants to fit in a size 2. She can't just love herself like we love her.

My sister recently confided in me that she's been throwing up after she eats because she "doesn't have the self-control to just not eat that our mom does". And so the disease has now spread to my gorgeous 19 year old sister who has her whole life ahead of her.

You may not have control over this. You may not be able to break this cycle you have started. Please consider talking to someone before you force your loved ones to stand by and witness you slowly killing yourself.

Thanks for posting this - this thread has made my heart hurt as well. My older sister was bulimic for 7 years. She was 8 years older than me, and I looked up to her all my life. It was absolutely heart-breaking to watch her look in the mirror and KNOW she was seeing something distorted.

To the OP - I'm so sorry that your culture is putting pressure on you to be slim. Especially if they are doing so in a way that encourages you to go about it in an unhealthy way. Do you have a good enough relationship with your boyfriend/parents that you could say to them, "You know my history, and I know you love me and don't want me to go down that road again. I want to lose weight too, but I want to do it the healthy way now. Please stop pressuring me because it puts me back in that dark place."

That need to please others at any cost or potential damage to your body is exactly what kept my sister trapped in her sickness, and sounds like it may still be something you struggle with.

There are levels of anorexia in the body. Though you've clearly had some healing (yay!), it may be time to consider that you still have some research to do and some more things to learn from and heal from before you're ready to make any huge changes to your lifestyle.

I remember you mentioned that you'd read you were supposed to eat your BMR - 500 calories, but I think you might have confused that with your TDEE - 500 calories. The TDEE is the number of calories that you normally burn just being alive AND walking around, exercising, eating, etc. So if you cut 500 from that, you'd still be above your BMR.

I'm glad to hear that you're feeding your body healthy fats and nutrients. Keep doing that! Just do it a bit more

I'll personally bet you $100 that if you up your calorie intake to 1200 a day and give it 6 weeks - you'll have lost weight and you'll still feel strong enough to continue. Doing it the way you are now will burn you out and you'll end up back where you started.

Please hear my words with the love behind them - I don't want to make you feel bad or as though I'm attacking you. I'm just telling you what I experienced, growing up and watching my sister's every move, and though she had a different eating disorder than yours, the mentality and motivation behind them are all evil, and all so terribly difficult to truly defeat.

avababy05 · July 2013

@sbarella - Thanks for the reply

I just plan on cutting my calories to 600 until I lose about 10-20 lbs. From then on I plan on eating 1200 and adjusting my lifestyle. After I hit about 100 lbs I plan on eating 1500-1600 calories. ^^ I swear to myself that I will never gain it back because not being able to fit in your clothes is a big pain. I have at least 4 pairs of jeans with their buttons popped off. :blushing:
[/quote]

And then you will gain weight because you're adding another 600 calories that your body isn't used to and then you'll have to lose weight.and on and on it goes.

Been there.Learned from it.

hottamolly00 · July 2013

What she said. ^

To the OP: I think you need to seek some mental help. I would like to be supportive on the weight loss front, but it sounds like you know what you're SUPPOSED to do, but you CHOOSE to continue your extreme dieting ways. I'm sorry, but this is something a mental health professional needs to handle. You really need someone to help you get over your obsession with eating so little. By the way, you're "whopping" 140 pounds is kind of offensive. There are people on here who are struggling with 400+ pounds to lose. Please get some help. Please.

Excuse me, but are you a doctor? A psychiatrist? I don't think so. Don't diagnose me with a mental illness if you are not a professional. I have never intended to offend others if that's what you're accusing me of. I was just making fun of my own weight the same way everyone makes fun of my weight right now. I don't think you know how many times I hear "lose weight" in a day. I live in Korea and if you lived here, you would know that I'm considered obiese here so you can take your unprofessional and far more offensive remarks and leave. Please.

@yellowsnowdro - How old are you? Please don't tell me that my family needs to be educated. One more thing, it's not "loose," it's "lose." I can tell the difference between destructive criticism and constructive criticism and you two posters are only using destructive criticism which is not only offensive but also very unprofessional. Thank you and good bye.

Look. I was not trying to offend you. I'm trying to help you. No, I'm not a professional, but you're sitting here going on about what your mom, brother, boyfriend, etc say. Are they professionals? Probably not. What I'm getting at is that you know what's right for you, so screw what everyone else says and do what most of us on here do. Throw away the stupid scale, because most of the time, it's wrong. Take pictures of your "before" and base all your progress on that picture. It's the only thing I go by these days. I hate weighing in. I only do it to be sure I'm not "letting myself go" again. A couple pounds gained is no big deal...it just keeps me in check so I'm not like 10 pounds gained.

prattiger65 · July 2013

You are in denial.

littlelouis · July 2013

As a person who has dealt with many of the same things, I completely understand. However, you MUST eat more than 800 calories a day. At the very least, eat 1,200. I lost almost 20 pounds on under 800 calories, but the mental struggle of upping your calories just isn't worth it. Start now the healthy way so you don't have to deal with it in the future. 1,200 calories if that's all you can manage. Get some exercise daily. And then try experimenting with adding 50-200 calories a week to see where your body likes to be. Sure, you'll lose weight if you eat under 800. But you'll be miserable and I can absolutely guarantee that it will be harder than you think to start eating 1,200 again. Also, once you up to 1,200, there's a chance that you'll gain all the weight back anyway from such a prolonged deficiency. I completely understand how you feel, and I'm sorry that you have to go through this, but don't risk doing this the unhealthy way.

snejkaxo · July 2013

**** To all of those that tell me that I'm a healthy weight and I need mental consultation, I felt that same way too but everyone else doesn't. Especially my mom, my dad, my sister, my cousins, my aunties, uncles, employers, and my boyfriend, ETC.. If you came here to Korea, you would understand my very situation. Here in Korea, underweight is healthy weight. Rather than feeling the need to starve myself again, I feel that I just want everyone to stop looking at me the way they do.

I totally get the cultural pressure. I didn't know you are from Korea. I am in the same boat with half of my Asian family. What is a healthy weight is a totally different story than with the other side of the family.

Just be careful sweetheart. Make sure that you have all food groups represented in your diet, even if you do it in smaller amounts. I know it is impossible to cut out all refined sugar. It's in everything! Every kimchi that they sell at the store has minimum 10g of sugar! Ever since I started weight loss journey, I am trying to make food from scratch. My favorite Jajangmyeon has 7 g of sugar. I don't know how to make this one from scratch though, so once a month or so I go to a store and buy it and indulge.

needtoloseafewpounds · July 2013

@hdtracy - Thank you for the reply. You don't need to worry about me finding your post offensive because your personality is absolutely lovely. My boyfriend and I are actually very close and we're practically like family. It's just that the Korean standards are ridiculous and even I admit it. Maybe it's easier for me to see because I was born in Hawaii and came here when I was 13. I can see how he feels walking around with me when almost 90% of the girls on this country is model thin. He does make jokes about my weight and he does tell me I'm beautiful and cute but at the same time he always tells me I'd be so much prettier if I lost weight. After I mentioned my past and history with anorexia he has attempted to stop talking about it but after a while he started mentioning my weight again and told me I wasn't trying. He's also less educated about weight loss than I am (even though I'm pretty bad off myself). He also has one of those ridiculous metabolisms that never let him gain any weight so we've been eating the same things for 3 years and I was the only one gaining weight

Also, it's harder to get a part time job to pay for my schooling because I have to compete with all of the skinnier girls and the employers do ask me to lose weight. My boyfriend's mother asked me to lose weight. It's been taking a toll on me and I went from "sick of dieting" to "have to diet again" and I guess I just wanted to take a shortcut. But you are right and I'm starting to see now that I should raise my caloric intake and take a little more time. You're right as well as many other here. I was being too hasty but it wasn't a mental issue. I just felt pressured and I wanted it over with as quick as possible.
I'm sorry about your sister's condition and I understand how hard of a time she must be having. I don't know if the same thing will work for her since I wasn't bulimic, but you could try giving her some of her favorite fruits a little at a time and increase the servings gradually. It helps even more if you're eating some and enjoying it by her side. I know tangerines helped me off of my starvation pretty well. It helps to show her not only how awesome and delicious food is but how awesome it is to be full and satisfied. I wish your sister will be up and healthy again soon... Good luck!

I'm a pro at unhealthy weight loss

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