Feeling depressed and like I don't care

ThePinkPenguin · July 2013

Last week at my weigh in, I ended up gaining almost five pounds between a combination of eating food that wasn't so good for me and spending two full days outside in pretty hot weather. I adjusted my eating for a couple of days and got back into working out, and I ended up losing two of those pounds. But two days later...the 4th of July came and I fell right back into my old eating habits. No one to blame but myself I know, but I had family in from out of town and I saw everyone else in my family eating whatever they wanted and enjoying themselves, so I figured hey why not join in? It's been really hot here too and I just haven't felt like cooking some of the healthy meals I had in mind that I got from a cookbook.

I also don't feel like working out. I bought TurboFire, but I can no longer stand the idea of these Beachbody programs and how you have to commit to them six days a week. I like to do other things too (swimming, walking, Zumba) and I just don't have it in me to do one exercise then TurboFire or commit solely to TF. I'm eating back like I used to, and I feel really bad about it, because I know I'm gonna gain again. I was so close to losing 20 pounds and I have totally backslid...that one weight gain just threw me off entirely and now I don't have it in me to get back on.

To make matters worse, I feel so alone. I have a condition with one of my eyes right now, and the doctors don't seem to know what is causing it. When I went off my medication, it flared up again, and the bad headaches alone were enough to keep me wanting to lay down and relax rather than pop in a workout DVD or go racing to the gym. My friends don't seem to understand or be sympathetic...my one friend even told me that she wanted me to rest instead of going out with me! I wanted her company and I wanted to be able to go out for a meal or to the baseball game, as I have no doctor's orders to not do these things. She was agreeable and into that before I went to urgent care about my eye yesterday. But yet I'm so isolated and I have to read about everyone else going to the beach or to movies. I've been through depression before and I feel like I'm hitting another bout of it.

I do want to get my weight down to 20 pounds lost, but it seems like it's taking forever with so much going on in my life and me just wanting to eat. My mom just said it's hot so everyone is on edge, but for me...I feel like I've just given up. The first thing some people ask me about (mostly family) when they see me is my weight and how my diet/exercise is going, so I feel like I'm disappointing them and myself. I just can't take it right now, but I know I have to change, and tough love ("Stop making excuses and just work out!") isn't sitting well with me at the moment. I don't need coddling either but there's gotta be a middle ground.

Tiffa0909 · July 2013

Take a deep breath , you have a lot of things going on and old habits are hard to break. You know what's the problem and you know what you need to do , so take a step back and think about how you are going to tackle the problem.

If you don't want to do Turbo fire , don't do it. You said you wanted variety , so adapt them to fit your needs.

You were in urgent care so is understandable for your friends to want you to rest , this is not going to be your last chance to go out and have dinner.

FitnessBeverlyHills · July 2013

Don't be discouraged, no one is perfect and during the holidays we all fall off the wagon. Since its hot how about drinking as much water as you can to stay hydrated and watermelon is actually a great diuretic to help you stay hydrated and lose some water weight. Cucumbers are also great. When its hot out, it actually makes me eat healthier because I don't want to eat things that are too heavy. How about a recipe for a nice cold gazpacho soup, or maybe this is a great time to look up some yummy salad recipes that are light and refreshing in this hot weather?

Don't let a few days ruin it for you, remember its what you do the entire week that matters, if you ate bad one day try to eat a little better the next day. If its really hot trying swimming for your exercise instead.

I hope you feel better!!

cmriverside · July 2013

No wonder you're depressed. Look how you talk to yourself.

Get some therapy.

cwaters120 · July 2013

LIFE HAPPENS. This is about changing your lifestyle - not a "diet" program. Its about learning to deal with these things as they occur and getting back on track again. So you had a bad few days. Get up, get moving again! Just take a walk - who says you need to run? JUST MOVE. Get back into logging your food, EVEN THE BAD CRAP. Drink your water - flush the sodium away and hydrate in the heat. Personally, I love TF, but if you aren't into it, try something else. Swim for a while - even just treading water will burn calories. If its too hot to cook, use the grill, the slow-cooker, or have salads, LIGHT sandwiches or a smoothie.

All of that said, you have to decide you're worth it and take on the work again. Calories in mean only a gain if you don't send calories out by way of moving. Nobody can "motivate" you to do this. You have to make the decision on your own that you ARE worth it - because you ARE. I don't mean you "are" I mean you "ARE" (be certain, be determined, and you can be successful.)

veracalore · July 2013

I screwed up on the fourth too......

Its not about perfection, its about progress. Make a little every day. Don't do turbo fire until you're comfortable.

chelcdub · July 2013

No wonder you're depressed. Look how you talk to yourself.

Get some therapy.

I'm going to have to agree here, although it's said a bit more blunt than I would say it haha. You have TONS going on, and the reason therapy sounds best, is because what you could've said could've been summed up in a paragraph or two. Your weight, and falling back to old habits is secondary, you must get your mind healthy and ready before you can get your body healthy successfully. After all, our mind is what we have to convince to start this journey. In regards to "back sliding" as you stated...that's okay. Each new day is a day to get it right. You could've eaten a hot dog and 17 chips to satisfy your cravings for "junk food". Make sure not to rely on excuses also, those harm us even before we start. If you don't want to to P90x or buns of steel...don't! It's about GETTING ACTIVE, and that's however you choose...loose those extra pounds having fun. Walk at the mall, go swim, play softball with the family. If they don't want to join you...that's fine, sometimes you have to suck it up and go alone...I know by experience. Good luck you can do this. Get someone to speak with also. Btw working out is free therapy = )

thatTOPSlady · July 2013

I could have written a very similar post as yours. I'm nursing a rotten, painful tooth (that gets pulled on Tuesday) and after doing extremely well, I've had a couple days of doing EXTREMELY ROTTEN (for instance....I ate cupcakes and ice cream and sonic today and all of my calories were spent on junk by 1 pm).

You aren't alone.

Hang in there.

Do the best you can with the moment you have.

Trevorcook91 · July 2013

I have had those days when it feels like I just want to give up, but I try to remember why I started this journey in the first place. Also, my husband encourages me to keep going. Just take it day by day. It will get better. You are worth the time and effort.

alfiedn · July 2013

EVERYONE messes up with their eating/exercise. Relax and take it one day at a time. If you like a variety in your workouts, who says you can't do a beachbody workout one day and then something else the next? Think about it this way: anytime your moving is better than not moving, right?

Also, I think it's great you want to lean on your friends. Perhaps you could go to the beach with one of them. Beaches aren't particularly stressful and you might be fine with your eye (although I really have no idea, not being familiar with your condition). If they want you to relax, invite them over for some iced tea or something.

I actually don't love salads, but in the summertime, I crave them. The moisture in the salad ingredients is helpful in the hot weather and it's so cooling. Plus, it's really easy to make a salad without slaving over a hot stove. I also love smoothies for the summer. Fruits and veggies...mmmm!

Ejourneys · July 2013

For me, the middle ground is this (and it works for me):

1. Every day is a new day and every meal is a new meal. Sometimes I'll eat foods I normally don't eat, but the next meal I get right back on the wagon.
2. This is not a race. I'm not trying to lose weight on a deadline.
3. I exercise because I WANT to exercise. I take a day off because I WANT to take a day off. And I do the exercises I WANT to do, WHEN I want to do them. I'm in charge of my own fitness.
4. I don't get down on myself for anything. This is my journey and I own it.
5. I take the long view, and I am patient through plateaus. Yeah, it's frustrating sometimes, but it's not discouraging.
6. Isolation does not stop me from eating right and exercising. I find what works for me, which is having exercise equipment that fits in my home office. (I'm a caregiver and work at home -- things like trips to movies and the beach are long gone.)
7. I make it as easy as possible for myself. My healthy meals don't require cooking. I rely on a lot of fresh produce that I eat raw. The rest I just toss in the microwave. I live in Florida, so we have a lot of heat here.
8. The same goes for exercising. I use fans in addition to A/C.
9. I don't get questions on how my diet and exercise are going (due to our isolation), but it helps that I'm part of a couple of online groups where we check in with and support each other (similar to MFP). My idea of a comeback line for those kinds of questions is something along the lines of, "Still fighting the good fight. Thanks for asking!" In other words, be proud of what you've accomplished, even if it feels hard right now. Because you HAVE accomplished!

Also, take care of your eye. I would rest if I had headaches, too. (I get an occasional migraine that sends me to my bed.) Since I started this weight loss I've had one bad cold that put me out of commission for about a week. That's one week in the past 44, and I was thrilled to get back to my regular routine when I felt I could. Again, each day is a new day.

Have faith in yourself. Be kind to yourself. You are worth the effort.

FitBlackChick · July 2013

Don't be so hard on yourself

We ALL fall off the wagon sometimes. I really (and I mean REALLY) overdid it during the holiday and afterwards I had such a hard time getting back on track. I do Insanity and it just wasn't my week. I literally had almost no motivation to do those workouts this week, so I replaced a couple of them with long power walks and an easier workout dvd. One of the reasons why I had no motivation is that I felt I had really let myself down on by eating so much. And trust me when I say I have screwed up a plenty of times before! But at the end of the day there is nothing I can do but keep going when I make mistakes, however big they are.

That's how we succeed, by getting up when we fall down

Check out this link about Success (I have this image up on my living room wall and I apply it to my weight loss journey):

http://www.businessinsider.com/what-success-looks-like-2012-4

And about your workouts, I definitely agree that you should do what you like. The objective is to get moving! However way you do it (swimming, cycling, hiking etc) doesn't matter. The important thing is that you do. Toss TF if you're not into it and do what you enjoy! :happy:

As for everything else you're going through, I'm really sorry to hear about it

But please don't give up on yourself. I know you say you feel like you don't care, but you do or else you wouldn't have posted this. We're all here for you :flowerforyou:

ThePinkPenguin · July 2013

For me, the middle ground is this (and it works for me):

1. Every day is a new day and every meal is a new meal. Sometimes I'll eat foods I normally don't eat, but the next meal I get right back on the wagon.
2. This is not a race. I'm not trying to lose weight on a deadline.
3. I exercise because I WANT to exercise. I take a day off because I WANT to take a day off. And I do the exercises I WANT to do, WHEN I want to do them. I'm in charge of my own fitness.
4. I don't get down on myself for anything. This is my journey and I own it.
5. I take the long view, and I am patient through plateaus. Yeah, it's frustrating sometimes, but it's not discouraging.
6. Isolation does not stop me from eating right and exercising. I find what works for me, which is having exercise equipment that fits in my home office. (I'm a caregiver and work at home -- things like trips to movies and the beach are long gone.)
7. I make it as easy as possible for myself. My healthy meals don't require cooking. I rely on a lot of fresh produce that I eat raw. The rest I just toss in the microwave. I live in Florida, so we have a lot of heat here.
8. The same goes for exercising. I use fans in addition to A/C.
9. I don't get questions on how my diet and exercise are going (due to our isolation), but it helps that I'm part of a couple of online groups where we check in with and support each other (similar to MFP). My idea of a comeback line for those kinds of questions is something along the lines of, "Still fighting the good fight. Thanks for asking!" In other words, be proud of what you've accomplished, even if it feels hard right now. Because you HAVE accomplished!

Also, take care of your eye. I would rest if I had headaches, too. (I get an occasional migraine that sends me to my bed.) Since I started this weight loss I've had one bad cold that put me out of commission for about a week. That's one week in the past 44, and I was thrilled to get back to my regular routine when I felt I could. Again, each day is a new day.

Have faith in yourself. Be kind to yourself. You are worth the effort.

I really like this list. Thanks!

cassie5017 · July 2013

Don't punish yourself. I reached my goal and then slipped and now have about 20 lbs to lose. I originally lost 125 lbs. I keep telling myself that I can do it. Remind yourself why you are doing this. As for food...I have found a lot of healthy recipes online that I have made for guests and no one has turned the food down. On the contrary,I have gotten many compliments. Even healthy desserts can be found. My favorite recipe place is Sparks. For me the key was making meals everyone could enjoy and no one felt deprived. Don't segregate yourself from the other family members by preparing two meals. All will benefit from healthier meals. Sparks has an app you can put on your phone or Ipad also. It is ok to slip up. We are human. Just get back up and continue. Good luck!

AliciaNineteen72 · July 2013

Sorry - meant to quote! This is one of the most helpful replies I've seen.

AliciaNineteen72 · July 2013

For me, the middle ground is this (and it works for me):

1. Every day is a new day and every meal is a new meal. Sometimes I'll eat foods I normally don't eat, but the next meal I get right back on the wagon.
2. This is not a race. I'm not trying to lose weight on a deadline.
3. I exercise because I WANT to exercise. I take a day off because I WANT to take a day off. And I do the exercises I WANT to do, WHEN I want to do them. I'm in charge of my own fitness.
4. I don't get down on myself for anything. This is my journey and I own it.
5. I take the long view, and I am patient through plateaus. Yeah, it's frustrating sometimes, but it's not discouraging.
6. Isolation does not stop me from eating right and exercising. I find what works for me, which is having exercise equipment that fits in my home office. (I'm a caregiver and work at home -- things like trips to movies and the beach are long gone.)
7. I make it as easy as possible for myself. My healthy meals don't require cooking. I rely on a lot of fresh produce that I eat raw. The rest I just toss in the microwave. I live in Florida, so we have a lot of heat here.
8. The same goes for exercising. I use fans in addition to A/C.
9. I don't get questions on how my diet and exercise are going (due to our isolation), but it helps that I'm part of a couple of online groups where we check in with and support each other (similar to MFP). My idea of a comeback line for those kinds of questions is something along the lines of, "Still fighting the good fight. Thanks for asking!" In other words, be proud of what you've accomplished, even if it feels hard right now. Because you HAVE accomplished!

Also, take care of your eye. I would rest if I had headaches, too. (I get an occasional migraine that sends me to my bed.) Since I started this weight loss I've had one bad cold that put me out of commission for about a week. That's one week in the past 44, and I was thrilled to get back to my regular routine when I felt I could. Again, each day is a new day.

Have faith in yourself. Be kind to yourself. You are worth the effort.

This is one of the most helpful replies I've seen! :happy:

ClaudiaWay · July 2013

Hi thePinkPenguin,
I think that One of the difficult thing to beat is your own mentality. A month ago I had a miscarriage of a three month pregnancy. It has been so difficult and I found myself blaming myself for it although I didn't do anything wrong. I decided that I was going to prepare myself for my next pregnancy. I pray every day so God can give me what I need each day to keep on going. My family has been really supportive.

this is what I do each day
Pray for a new and great day
say hi to my little angel in heaven
kiss my girls and husband
eat a healthy breakfast (my body has become my temple)
go to work and give myself to serve other people in need
come back home and enjoy my family

For exercise I plan what days I want to work out (at home since I cancel the gym). During the week I work out two to three days a week and Saturday and Sunday. I am not going to lie is difficult each day but I am figuring out that If I just focus one day at the time is easier.

Don't worry about what people thinks about you. Do it for yourself.

Focus on loosing few pounds at a time. Well this is what I am doing and it is helping me.
I still have 15 pounds to go.

xabcx · July 2013

the past is the past. it cannot be changed. stop thinking about what you cannot change. start thinking about what you can change: the present and the future. imagine how bad things would be if you only had control of your past but not the present or future.

what works for me is following simple rules. here are the rules i follow:

1. eat only between 12 pm and 8 pm. (breakfast lunch dinner)
2. eat nothing that has added sugar.
3. eat a maximum of 1200 calories a day.
4. do not eat while watching tv.
5. do not eat free food.
6. eat for sustenance...not fun. food is not a toy. it is not for fun. want to have fun? do anything you like that does not involve food.
7. if you do not know how many calories it has do not eat it.
8. do not eat because you are bored. do not eat while you drive. do not go out with friends for the purpose of eating.
9. accept the discomfort of being a liitle hungry all day. that is all it is: slight discomfort. stop feling sorry or sad for yourself that you are a bit hungry. most people in this world are actually hungry. you are not. you are just a bit uncomfortabe. it is a price that must be paid.

do that and add exercise later to reindorce your progress. it works.

thatTOPSlady · July 2013

For me, the middle ground is this (and it works for me):

1. Every day is a new day and every meal is a new meal. Sometimes I'll eat foods I normally don't eat, but the next meal I get right back on the wagon.
2. This is not a race. I'm not trying to lose weight on a deadline.
3. I exercise because I WANT to exercise. I take a day off because I WANT to take a day off. And I do the exercises I WANT to do, WHEN I want to do them. I'm in charge of my own fitness.
4. I don't get down on myself for anything. This is my journey and I own it.
5. I take the long view, and I am patient through plateaus. Yeah, it's frustrating sometimes, but it's not discouraging.
6. Isolation does not stop me from eating right and exercising. I find what works for me, which is having exercise equipment that fits in my home office. (I'm a caregiver and work at home -- things like trips to movies and the beach are long gone.)
7. I make it as easy as possible for myself. My healthy meals don't require cooking. I rely on a lot of fresh produce that I eat raw. The rest I just toss in the microwave. I live in Florida, so we have a lot of heat here.
8. The same goes for exercising. I use fans in addition to A/C.
9. I don't get questions on how my diet and exercise are going (due to our isolation), but it helps that I'm part of a couple of online groups where we check in with and support each other (similar to MFP). My idea of a comeback line for those kinds of questions is something along the lines of, "Still fighting the good fight. Thanks for asking!" In other words, be proud of what you've accomplished, even if it feels hard right now. Because you HAVE accomplished!

Also, take care of your eye. I would rest if I had headaches, too. (I get an occasional migraine that sends me to my bed.) Since I started this weight loss I've had one bad cold that put me out of commission for about a week. That's one week in the past 44, and I was thrilled to get back to my regular routine when I felt I could. Again, each day is a new day.

Have faith in yourself. Be kind to yourself. You are worth the effort.

I love this mindset!

ShadeBlossom · July 2013

For me, the middle ground is this (and it works for me):

1. Every day is a new day and every meal is a new meal. Sometimes I'll eat foods I normally don't eat, but the next meal I get right back on the wagon.
2. This is not a race. I'm not trying to lose weight on a deadline.
3. I exercise because I WANT to exercise. I take a day off because I WANT to take a day off. And I do the exercises I WANT to do, WHEN I want to do them. I'm in charge of my own fitness.
4. I don't get down on myself for anything. This is my journey and I own it.
5. I take the long view, and I am patient through plateaus. Yeah, it's frustrating sometimes, but it's not discouraging.
6. Isolation does not stop me from eating right and exercising. I find what works for me, which is having exercise equipment that fits in my home office. (I'm a caregiver and work at home -- things like trips to movies and the beach are long gone.)
7. I make it as easy as possible for myself. My healthy meals don't require cooking. I rely on a lot of fresh produce that I eat raw. The rest I just toss in the microwave. I live in Florida, so we have a lot of heat here.
8. The same goes for exercising. I use fans in addition to A/C.
9. I don't get questions on how my diet and exercise are going (due to our isolation), but it helps that I'm part of a couple of online groups where we check in with and support each other (similar to MFP). My idea of a comeback line for those kinds of questions is something along the lines of, "Still fighting the good fight. Thanks for asking!" In other words, be proud of what you've accomplished, even if it feels hard right now. Because you HAVE accomplished!

Also, take care of your eye. I would rest if I had headaches, too. (I get an occasional migraine that sends me to my bed.) Since I started this weight loss I've had one bad cold that put me out of commission for about a week. That's one week in the past 44, and I was thrilled to get back to my regular routine when I felt I could. Again, each day is a new day.

Have faith in yourself. Be kind to yourself. You are worth the effort.

This is wonderful advice. I feel like I should print it out and frame it.

lioness803 · July 2013

the past is the past. it cannot be changed. stop thinking about what you cannot change. start thinking about what you can change: the present and the future. imagine how bad things would be if you only had control of your past but not the present or future.

what works for me is following simple rules. here are the rules i follow:

1. eat only between 12 pm and 8 pm. (breakfast lunch dinner)
2. eat nothing that has added sugar.
3. eat a maximum of 1200 calories a day.
4. do not eat while watching tv.
5. do not eat free food.
6. eat for sustenance...not fun. food is not a toy. it is not for fun. want to have fun? do anything you like that does not involve food.
7. if you do not know how many calories it has do not eat it.
8. do not eat because you are bored. do not eat while you drive. do not go out with friends for the purpose of eating.
9. accept the discomfort of being a liitle hungry all day. that is all it is: slight discomfort. stop feling sorry or sad for yourself that you are a bit hungry. most people in this world are actually hungry. you are not. you are just a bit uncomfortabe. it is a price that must be paid.

do that and add exercise later to reindorce your progress. it works.

Meal timing does not matter.
1200 should be a minimum for most people, not a maximum.
As part of our culture, eating IS a social activity, so saying food should never be for fun, or going out with friends for the purpose of eating is wrong, is setting yourself up for a sad life.

Feeling depressed and like I don't care

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