Pause, Breathe, and Begin Again

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readanddance
readanddance Posts: 311 Member
in Motivation and Support
Each of us battles our own demons. And, sadly, sometimes the demons take a few victories. A decision in mid-December to take a short break and maintain, began a seven month break with minimal accountability. Rather than reigning in when I felt the lose clothes tighten or when I gained ten (or fifteen or twenty or twenty-five) pounds back, I turned a blind eye to the feelings and justified the thought that "I am what I am." Even knowing I wasn't happy with the gain didn't help me turn the willpower back on.

For the past several months, I've been in excuse mode: I'll start when XXX is finished or when XXX begins. Yesterday, I took my first step and just logged on. It wasn't the "perfect" time in my mind, but I clicked the log-in button. Today, I made my official weigh-in, changed my ticker, shed a few tears over the drastic change, and will begin again.

While part of me wants to chastise myself for my lack of willpower, that behavior will not change what has happened. Rather, I choose to focus on a few positives:

~ I came back....even if it is hard.
~ I gained. However, I still am a bit lower than where I began last fall. For the first time, I didn't gain everything back plus more!
~ The MFP community will support me as I will support them. I can post this and know that the response will be supportive rather than telling me that I've failed and am just making excuses.

Here's to a new day.
Here's to anyone who returned after a hiatus that didn't go as planned.
Here's to anyone who is struggling. Know you're not alone.
And, if you are on a break and skimming the community panel, please come back! We miss you!!!

I love that many of my MFP friends stayed with me, even while I was gone. I find I do really well when I am in close contact with others through little messages! So, if you wish to have a friend who supports you, feel free to message me!
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Replies

  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
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    Hear hear! I myself took a few months off and wound up gaining nearly 10 pounds back. *sigh* The important thing is that we are here and working again! Good post.
  • LauraT81
    LauraT81 Posts: 11
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    I came back last week, draw a line, whats done is done.....look to the future, todays a brand new day.

    Feel free to add me, we can motivate each other, I am so determined this time!

    We can do this!
  • mariposa224
    mariposa224 Posts: 1,269 Member
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    Kudos for coming back. I went through a similar period 2 years ago, where I had lost about 40lbs, stopped working out and paying attention to what I was eating, and gained back about half of what I'd lost. I had to make a conscious decision that I wasn't happy and I was the only one who could change it. Good job. Best wishes to you!
  • Nanalleen
    Nanalleen Posts: 8 Member
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    WOW I needed to read this post today. I was doing well, and just fell off, months ago. I restarted a few weeks ago and fell again. It's good to know I am not the only one that "restarts"
  • nyboer
    nyboer Posts: 346 Member
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    Great post - one I needed to read too! Sending a FR right now! :)
  • bcrozier
    bcrozier Posts: 15
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    Congrats on making the choice to come back! I to am a repeater! And now doing better then ever! Add me if you want to have supportive friend!
  • Lmns218
    Lmns218 Posts: 155
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    I am glad I am not alone. I fell off this past weekend and gained 8 damn lbs!!!!! but guess I just have to start over. I am not changing my ticker though until I am SURE this is just water weight....but it's looking like it's not though.
  • glenner
    glenner Posts: 160 Member
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    Glad I am not the only one! I am off in the summer and thought without the busy schedule of work and other activities I do I will be able to focus on myself and weight loss- instead I spent all last week reading and eating. Today I decided I need to get going again so I had my shake for breakfast and I am getting a walk after I am done this instead of being lazy! I also love the friends I have here who also struggle and support me when I struggle!
  • acidosaur
    acidosaur Posts: 295 Member
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    Thanks for this. I really needed to read it after a horrible weekend!
  • readanddance
    readanddance Posts: 311 Member
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    I hear you. I'm also off for the summers. I had grand intentions of exercising daily, cooking great meals, etc. I've been reading more than exercising. Enjoy your walk!
  • fullofhope76
    fullofhope76 Posts: 92
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    I knew I was not alone in this. We have it in us to break this cycle and keep on keepin' on! We can do it! Today is my first day of being serious again after about a three to four week hiatus. I took my break now I must get going again. I don't think of it as a new start, more of a continuation of my previous effort. I gained about 5 pounds back so I am confident that I can get back on the horse and kick butt! Maybe it was the jump start I needed? :)
  • teresab101
    teresab101 Posts: 56 Member
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    it's so easy to do...I was doing great..lost 22 pounds..woke up one morning and just didn't journal or watched what I ate and this went on for a couple of months....gained 10 back.... but back on track again!
  • namluv
    namluv Posts: 194 Member
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    Yes, thank you for this post - I needed it today! This morning weighed and gained back 5 after not paying attention for about a month .. good to be back on and remember I am not a total loser for needing to come back; just a normal human.
  • JerZRob
    JerZRob Posts: 68
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    Right there with you. Got down to my final goal 3 years ago and it slowly came back to exactly where I was when I began. Just have to suck it up and start over again knowing that if you did it once you can do it again.
  • DDSMEW
    DDSMEW Posts: 11
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    Thank you for posting this today! It is so nice to see so many others with the same need to restart. All with different challenges, barriers, triggers, etc. I am just getting back into the swing myself. I had lost 60lbs over a year and now have put back on 25lbs. I am determined to take this off again! Anyone looking for a supportive friend, please add me!
  • ShellyAnn1965
    ShellyAnn1965 Posts: 12 Member
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    I love your candid honesty. I'm right there with you, one day at a time, one moment at a time.... My normal M.O. is to shut everyone out and not engage. To engage is to have expectations from others. Expectations are like a noose around my neck! BUT!!!

    My old way of running my life and my food and my weight, has NOT WORKED. So as painful and scary and hard and irritating as it is, I'm still logging on. Not doing great tracking my food, but I'm doing well WITH my food and my weight is slowly steadily going down. SLOWWWWLY.

    So I will Pause, Breathe, and Begin Again right along with you! Cheers!
  • cathyg18
    cathyg18 Posts: 150 Member
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    Thank you SO much for posting this. You have no idea how much I needed to hear this right now. We can and will do this! :D
  • fruitlooper
    fruitlooper Posts: 30 Member
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    I've done this at least 3 times, and everytime was more than 20 pounds. How do we stop this from happening again? It's disheartening, knowing I put in all this hard work just to let it all go. And my mentality is exactly the same when I do let myself go, it's like, oh well who cares. I really don't care at the time, then all of a sudden I'm thinking holy ****, I do care! And then I get angry with myself and eat more.
  • WestCoastWild
    WestCoastWild Posts: 147 Member
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    Am feeling discouraged today after a bad weekend. Your post has put a new spin on things, I feel much more hopeful and happy now :) Funny how that works. Great post, and wishing you nothing but success!
  • readanddance
    readanddance Posts: 311 Member
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    Thank you to everyone who responded! While I know I'm not the only one who roller coasters, I sometimes need to hear it from others.

    I'm proud of myself that I returned. I'm struggling a bit with wanting to see the newly added pounds gone by yesterday (or tomorrow at the latest). I have to remember that it took seven months to gain them back. It won't disappear today. :-)

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