Griever needing motivation...

shulangel
shulangel Posts: 4
in Motivation and Support
Hi. I'm coming back to MFP to try to surround myself with positive support, (as the support groups in my area have not been very helpful), to help me get on track to losing weight and getting healthy. I've been grieving, having lost my father two years ago and then losing my mother last year. The depression coupled with being a recovering bulimic, I've now gained over 100 lbs within a year - which has made it all more depressing. Though I know I should be doing more, I have very little energy and motivation.

I'm looking for some tips/guidance as to how to help accomplish my goal of losing 120 lbs + and to push through the grief without giving into my vices such as eating poorly or binging/purging...

Replies

  • upsidedownjelly
    upsidedownjelly Posts: 52
    My mom died about a year and a half ago, it sucks and I can't imagine losing both parents so close to each other.
    Anyway, my mom's death actually kicked my *kitten* into gear. She had lung cancer and was generally not a healthy person. She also had some unresolved mental health issues. She died at 55 and I remember panicking and telling myself I wouldn't be the same way. It's not an easy journey but the thought does keep me motivated, especially as a broader, longer term type goal. I hope to be a fit 90 year old running marathons and lifting weights and crap.
    Also, because of my mom's mental health problems, how it affected me growing up, and my own depression, I decided to seek professional therapy, and, it does help.

    Best wishes.
  • KathryneJY
    KathryneJY Posts: 83 Member
    First let me start by saying I'm very sorry for your losses. Losing your parents must be so very difficult.

    I'm not sure that embarking on your weight loss journey in your current state of mind is the right thing for you. Depression is a complex beast, and if you can get some professional help for your depression, I would recommend starting there.

    You can do things to help your state of mind, such as moving more, going for daily walks, cutting back on portion sizes, but I do not recommend setting high goals that you might fail at while in your current state of mind. Failure could make it worse, and this journey will be full of failures, or perceived failures (I ate too many calories, I didn't exercise today, I might as well eat this tub of ice cream ....etc.)

    It really depends on your personality. For me, I really focus on stuff, to a fault. If I'm going to do something, I go all in all the time. It presents it's own problems, but I recognize them now and can moderate them. When I am depressed, it's harder to recognize and easier to take a destructive path (OCD).

    Go for walks, add small active things to your day that get you moving. That can do a lot for your depression. But mostly, I recommend professional help to get you through your sadness first and foremost.

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