Dealing with family pressures
kittyd7015
Posts: 4,546 Member
does anyone else have pressure to lose weight from there family? My mum always asks how much I weigh today and stuff. Makes me so self conscious.
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Replies
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I dont have any pressure to lose weight. I do *gently* encourage my sister to join me on my weight loss journey several times a week. I dont ask her how much she weighs but I really do want her to lose weight before she kills herself.0
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Maybe that is the only way she "knows" how to support you in your journey by asking your current weight.
I might recommend that you redirect her attention to perhaps new recipes using ingredients you love!0 -
I've spent years....it's only recently I was brave enough to tell them, Look, the more you pressure me, the less I want to lose weight. They turned it from something healthful I want to do to something that, if I do, is 'them' winning. Totally illogical, but it felt like that. If I lost weight, they had won something (imposed their will on me) and I had actually lost - not weight, but sovereignty over my own person.
Every unhealthy thing I did was a 'victory' over them. Every dessert I ate was a 'victory'. Every chocolate bar I sneaked by them was a 'victory'. Every time I didn't work out, despite their urging, was a 'victory'. Once, my family member scolded me for having bread with butter. In response, I literally ate bread and butter until I puked.
It's only now, that I've fully internalized the desire to become healthier - for MYSELF, my OWN decision - that I am really turning the corner. (MFP has really really helped with this, with the awesome, non-judgmental community here). And now, they seem to understand (though I have to remind them forcefully now and again) and are actually being really supportive. Actually my problem would be to keep them from being 'too' supportive, to the point I resent it. So far, so good.0 -
I openly admit part of the reason I'm trying to lose weight is because I want to stop hearing about it. Probably not the best but it happens. Every time I go to some family even it seems like 1 person has to make a comment. They seem to forget I gained the weight because I physically couldn't lift more than 4lbs for almost a year.
In the end I think motivation has to come from the inside. Friends on MFP seem to help me, too. But overall I motivate myself or I slip.0 -
Have you tried telling your mum this is making you self-conscious? Everyone has a right to good self-esteem, regardless of weight, shape and size. I don't understand pointing someone's weight out to them - they aren't oblivious to it.0
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