I HATE CLOTHES SHOPPING - rant

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  • Basia_and4345
    Basia_and4345 Posts: 61 Member
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    So . . . after being badgered that it's time to accept defeat and go buy new clothes since I can't fit into anything in my closet any more, I braved the stores. BIG mistake. I live in a small town and work in a professional office, yet everything being marketed is for 14-year-olds. Sorry, but I can't wear pink lycra leggings with words written across the *kitten*, or ripped jeans with sequin butterflies on the back pockets. The reasonably decent clothes were available in two sizes: 4 or 28. The XXL jackets I was trying on I could not even get my arms into the sleeves, which were sized for a Barbie doll. Oh, but that's o.k., they had tons of "shrugs" - those microscopic "sweaters" that hit you mid-boob, have capped sleeves sure to make you look like a sausage, and that generally make you look like you are stealing clothes from your child's Pooh bear.
    In order to find a dress that was long enough to sit down in, I had to go up 6 sizes. Forget skirts - the styles right now have a flat panel across the front guaranteed to make you look pregnant and cheerleader pleats to complete the awful look.
    "But shopping is so much fun!!" some of you will say. Well, when you've tried on 30 pairs of pants and none fit, it's not fun any longer . . . if it ever was. /rant

    Hi Clare ... I wish I had a good solution for you but unfortunately it comes down to try-try again. I also hate shopping, not so much because I can't find the size or styles that I need but 1) I hate the cost of clothing today and 2) I hate the wake-up call in the dressing room mirror that my body shape is not what it used to be. My realization came May of 2012 when I was looking for a simple dress for my daughters wedding. Everything I tried looked hideous, needless to day I settled on a pair of slacks and a blouse. It was after that I began my journey to find the Me I see in my minds eye. From May to December it was making small changes. Than beginning this past January it was Game On... until recently I was using another logging site but I like this one for the logging and flexibility. Happy to say I have made wonderful progress since January but I'm still not done. I recently went to the store with my sister who has been my weight loss partner (she has done fantastic) but found that I still have not dropped the inches I want and just could not get myself into the dressing room. Long story short, I think I may have some understanding of your frustration. Friend me if you want a support and cheer partner. Don't give up. :flowerforyou:
  • ClareWantsProgress
    ClareWantsProgress Posts: 173 Member
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    You are definitely shopping in the wrong store. Your profile doesn't say your age, but it sounds like you need to get your tushy out of the juniors section and shop in the misses or women's. I had a reaaallly hard time with that when I got my first real job, but that's where the nice clothes are.

    When you're trying to fit clothes to your new body, you're going to go through ALOT of trial and error with different stores, different fits, and sizes. The best places (that I find) clothing that are professional, but hip/trendy are TJ Maxx, Target, and consignment shops. I'm a sale shopper and never buy anything full price, so it means spending a lot of time digging through the racks.

    I am 45 and I am NOT shopping in the juniors section. AGAIN, I was being sarcastic and pointing out that the vast majority of the clothes stores in my town are catering to pre-teen girls. I did NOT say that I was actually trying to buy clothes in said stores. I work full time, I live out in the middle of nowhere, so spending forever shopping is a horrible chore for me when there are so few clothes in anything between an 8 and a 14!!! Like I said, I see tons of 4s and 28s, but everything in between is apparently snapped up right away. Anyone want to fill in for me at my job so I can spend an entire day going through sales racks? Anyone?
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    Vanity sizing could have a lot to do with it.

    I find it hard to buy button down shirts and suit jackets because my shoulders are broad and my back is big and muscular. It seems when I go up in a size the only thing that gets bigger are the sleeves. I am to the point where I will more than likely have to have tops custom made because of this.

    I also have issues with pants because I'm 5'2" and most pants are too long.

    *shrugs* It is what it is. I still enjoy shopping.

    That sounds like the opposite of vanity sizing.

    Not with the OP's issue. She said that the sizes she was trying to fit in to are too small. Sizes in general have gotten smaller so an XL size now is probably more like a medium.

    No, that's not vanity sizing. Vanity sizing would mean the new medium fits more like a large or extra large.

    Trust me, stores aren't playing into vanity by making the clothes smaller.

    So then tell me: why is a size 0-1 what a size 5 used to be? (I know this for a fact because I have a pair of jeans that are from the years when sizes were what they claimed to be and they are a size 5 and fit me how a now size 0 fits)

    Vanity sizing IS making the clothing smaller so that someone who is X size finds it's too large and has to go into a smaller size which makes the person buying said product happier.
  • nilbogger
    nilbogger Posts: 870 Member
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    Vanity sizing could have a lot to do with it.

    I find it hard to buy button down shirts and suit jackets because my shoulders are broad and my back is big and muscular. It seems when I go up in a size the only thing that gets bigger are the sleeves. I am to the point where I will more than likely have to have tops custom made because of this.

    I also have issues with pants because I'm 5'2" and most pants are too long.

    *shrugs* It is what it is. I still enjoy shopping.

    That sounds like the opposite of vanity sizing.

    Not with the OP's issue. She said that the sizes she was trying to fit in to are too small. Sizes in general have gotten smaller so an XL size now is probably more like a medium.

    No, that's not vanity sizing. Vanity sizing would mean the new medium fits more like a large or extra large.

    Trust me, stores aren't playing into vanity by making the clothes smaller.

    So then tell me: why is a size 0-1 what a size 5 used to be? (I know this for a fact because I have a pair of jeans that are from the years when sizes were what they claimed to be and they are a size 5 and fit me how a now size 0 fits)

    Vanity sizing IS making the clothing smaller so that someone who is X size finds it's too large and has to go into a smaller size which makes the person buying said product happier.

    It's not making the CLOTHING smaller... it's making the NUMBERS smaller. For instance, I went from a 6 to a 4 in high school without losing any weight. Did the clothing get smaller? No, 4 was actually bigger than it had been before. Certainly that change did not make it so that I found clothing harder to fit into than it was before.

    I don't know. I think you're trying tos ay what I'm saying but it seems like the opposite from the wording. And it doesn't seem to apply to OP's problem as OP is complaning about things fitting smaller than they ought to, not larger.
  • BHKLEIN
    BHKLEIN Posts: 104
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    I use to hate shopping for clothing before I lost weight. Esp. right after having my daughter. After you lose the weight, esp. a significant amount, you start to feel better about the clothing you wear. Ever person is different, but you should be shopping for yourself and your own body style. Not everyone it stick thin with no hips. Embrace your body type, they make flattering clothing for all sized women. Try tops with empire waists: They define your waist and are slightly loose around your tummy! Many have slightly longer sleeves that hit just above the elbow if you don't particularily like your upper arms. You can try butterfly sleeve shirts: they have the longer sleeve and are made in numerous styles, patterns and colors (even in lace that you can pair with a brightly colored tank under the top to give a pop of color). I shop a lot online too, but you can't try it on when you do this. Sometimes it's better to go to the nearest mall and try as many different style tops on as you can to find the one that's flattering to your body type. It sucks, but when you find the right top it's worth it. At least then when you shop online you know the style of top that's most flattering for you and approximate size to shop by. Don't just try on 2 things and give up.... sometimes it takes trying on 20 shirts or more to find one that you like and feel good in (same with pants).... I'm just now starting to like shopping for clothing and it took losing 50lbs after my having baby to get to that point. Don't feel bad when you try on clothing.... just move on to the next until you find the right one. Clothes should help make you feel good, not bad!!!! If you feel bad in clothing, your not wearing the right style! Try going out of the box when you shop... sometimes clothing you would never try on may actually look great on you.
  • RebeccaSarah16
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    I love shopping so much! Maybe try out some different shops that you've never been in before?
  • cleotherio
    cleotherio Posts: 712 Member
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    Hmmm....I don't think this issue has to do with vanity sizing. Usually when I go shopping and the size I think I am turns out to be too small, it means I'm fatter than I thought I was.
  • ClareWantsProgress
    ClareWantsProgress Posts: 173 Member
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    I love shopping so much! Maybe try out some different shops that you've never been in before?

    Apparently the part about living in a town with very few stores got missed. And I'm happy you love to shop, really I am. I have always hated it.

    To clarify, after being the same size from high school until age 40, I have gained about 20 pounds from menopause and being put on migraine medicines for hormonal issues. I did not go up 10 sizes or anything like that. It's just that my 20 year old size 8s no longer fit and are falling apart, and when I go to try to find replacements I cannot find a single thing that is decent - even if money were no object. I just think the clothes are hideous and cannot find anything in size 10-12 that is suitable for a professional job. I have not had good luck shopping on line, but will give it another try when I have an entire day to waste clicking through page after page of crap. Again, I am NOT shopping in the junior department. Give me a tiny bit of credit for having a brain, please!

    Thank you for the helpful and useful comments from many of you.
  • ClareWantsProgress
    ClareWantsProgress Posts: 173 Member
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    Me too and shoe shopping is the worse! Online baby online

    I have had such miserable luck trying to shop online. I think it's because I don't have hours on end to click through page after page on our crappy internet connection, where it takes 5 minutes to bring up a page on Amazon or wherever.

    And I agree with the shoes!!! Went to seven stores over the weekend to look for dress pumps/flats and the selection was exactly the same in all of them: flip flops (which I can't wear to work) or six-inch hooker heels with the ridiculous platforms. LOL I give up.
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
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    Yeah that sounds quite frustrating! Have you thought about maybe online shopping instead?

    I have, but nearly went broke with the return postage. (I have to try everything on - no two sizes from different brands fit the same way, so I have very poor luck with that.)

    Plenty of stores have free return shipping - Asos, banana republic etc. and maybe make a shopping day trip to a nearby city?
  • ClareWantsProgress
    ClareWantsProgress Posts: 173 Member
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    Yeah that sounds quite frustrating! Have you thought about maybe online shopping instead?

    I have, but nearly went broke with the return postage. (I have to try everything on - no two sizes from different brands fit the same way, so I have very poor luck with that.)

    Plenty of stores have free return shipping - Asos, banana republic etc. and maybe make a shopping day trip to a nearby city?

    I've never heard of Asos - do they have professional clothes? The clothes I see in banana republic are not law firm appropriate. I'll keep searching, though!!
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
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    Yeah that sounds quite frustrating! Have you thought about maybe online shopping instead?

    I have, but nearly went broke with the return postage. (I have to try everything on - no two sizes from different brands fit the same way, so I have very poor luck with that.)

    Plenty of stores have free return shipping - Asos, banana republic etc. and maybe make a shopping day trip to a nearby city?

    I've never heard of Asos - do they have professional clothes? The clothes I see in banana republic are not law firm appropriate. I'll keep searching, though!!

    Asos has some things like blazers that can be professional. And LoL at the BR comment, I'm a lawyer - the classic suits don't work for a law firm??? What kind of firm is this?
  • LB2812
    LB2812 Posts: 158 Member
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    If you're a size 10-12 and looking for professional office clothes, I would actually think Kohls would be the perfect place to go. I've bought a number of items for work in those sizes there before. You could also give a store like TJ Maxx or Marshalls a try, they're not always organized as easily, but they tend to have a good selection. They can be on the pricey side, but Express or Banana Republic might be good options as well. Dress Barn also. And if you can get a good deal on an item, then you can buy it and get it tailored to fit you. And if you're going to wear these pieces regularly for a long time, then it'll end up being worth the cost (which if you get it on a deal to begin with might not be too bad!). Also, you might want to try some new styles. If your used to wearing the same outfits for many years now, you might just need some time to get used to a new look on you.

    Also, any second hand stores? It's hit or miss with the selection, but I like that the clothes are already worn in and stretched a bit so I can actually tell how they'll wear on me.

    Oh and I haven't bought clothes there, but zappos.com is a site that I'm pretty sure offers free shipping there and back! (at least they did when I used them a couple years ago). I once ordered about 15 pairs of shoes (I was wedding shoe shopping lol), got them all, tried them on, and returned all of them - and didn't spend a penny and had no issues. Might be worth a shot.
  • amwoidyla
    amwoidyla Posts: 257 Member
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    You are definitely shopping in the wrong store. Your profile doesn't say your age, but it sounds like you need to get your tushy out of the juniors section and shop in the misses or women's. I had a reaaallly hard time with that when I got my first real job, but that's where the nice clothes are.

    When you're trying to fit clothes to your new body, you're going to go through ALOT of trial and error with different stores, different fits, and sizes. The best places (that I find) clothing that are professional, but hip/trendy are TJ Maxx, Target, and consignment shops. I'm a sale shopper and never buy anything full price, so it means spending a lot of time digging through the racks.

    I am 45 and I am NOT shopping in the juniors section. AGAIN, I was being sarcastic and pointing out that the vast majority of the clothes stores in my town are catering to pre-teen girls. I did NOT say that I was actually trying to buy clothes in said stores. I work full time, I live out in the middle of nowhere, so spending forever shopping is a horrible chore for me when there are so few clothes in anything between an 8 and a 14!!! Like I said, I see tons of 4s and 28s, but everything in between is apparently snapped up right away. Anyone want to fill in for me at my job so I can spend an entire day going through sales racks? Anyone?

    My sarcasm detector is busted, oops. I actually had the best success shopping when I was between those sizes, even on the sale racks (yay budget). Living in the middle of nowhere sucks, shopping online for clothes sucks worse, who wants to deal with the returns?
    If you're working in a law firm and need to wear suits everyday, wouldn't a shopping trip somewhere that has better options be worth it to look fabulous with your new bod?
  • ClareWantsProgress
    ClareWantsProgress Posts: 173 Member
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    You are definitely shopping in the wrong store. Your profile doesn't say your age, but it sounds like you need to get your tushy out of the juniors section and shop in the misses or women's. I had a reaaallly hard time with that when I got my first real job, but that's where the nice clothes are.

    When you're trying to fit clothes to your new body, you're going to go through ALOT of trial and error with different stores, different fits, and sizes. The best places (that I find) clothing that are professional, but hip/trendy are TJ Maxx, Target, and consignment shops. I'm a sale shopper and never buy anything full price, so it means spending a lot of time digging through the racks.

    I am 45 and I am NOT shopping in the juniors section. AGAIN, I was being sarcastic and pointing out that the vast majority of the clothes stores in my town are catering to pre-teen girls. I did NOT say that I was actually trying to buy clothes in said stores. I work full time, I live out in the middle of nowhere, so spending forever shopping is a horrible chore for me when there are so few clothes in anything between an 8 and a 14!!! Like I said, I see tons of 4s and 28s, but everything in between is apparently snapped up right away. Anyone want to fill in for me at my job so I can spend an entire day going through sales racks? Anyone?

    My sarcasm detector is busted, oops. I actually had the best success shopping when I was between those sizes, even on the sale racks (yay budget). Living in the middle of nowhere sucks, shopping online for clothes sucks worse, who wants to deal with the returns?
    If you're working in a law firm and need to wear suits everyday, wouldn't a shopping trip somewhere that has better options be worth it to look fabulous with your new bod?

    I don't have to wear a suit, I just can't wear floor length tie-dye sleeveless beach coverups, which seemed to be the majority of what I saw at Kohl's and Penney's. LOL I was NOT trying to diss Banana Republic - it's just that walking by the one I saw in a different mall over the weekend, all they were showing were khaki shorts and camp shirts. Cute, but not for the office. If they have dressier clothes, I guess I missed them and will look again.

    And I HATE my "new bod" that is 20 pounds overweight and looks pregnant. I want my old, fit bod back. :D And yes, I know I am complaining, but it is SO frustrating.
  • ClareWantsProgress
    ClareWantsProgress Posts: 173 Member
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    If you're a size 10-12 and looking for professional office clothes, I would actually think Kohls would be the perfect place to go. I've bought a number of items for work in those sizes there before. You could also give a store like TJ Maxx or Marshalls a try, they're not always organized as easily, but they tend to have a good selection. They can be on the pricey side, but Express or Banana Republic might be good options as well. Dress Barn also. And if you can get a good deal on an item, then you can buy it and get it tailored to fit you. And if you're going to wear these pieces regularly for a long time, then it'll end up being worth the cost (which if you get it on a deal to begin with might not be too bad!). Also, you might want to try some new styles. If your used to wearing the same outfits for many years now, you might just need some time to get used to a new look on you.

    Also, any second hand stores? It's hit or miss with the selection, but I like that the clothes are already worn in and stretched a bit so I can actually tell how they'll wear on me.

    Oh and I haven't bought clothes there, but zappos.com is a site that I'm pretty sure offers free shipping there and back! (at least they did when I used them a couple years ago). I once ordered about 15 pairs of shoes (I was wedding shoe shopping lol), got them all, tried them on, and returned all of them - and didn't spend a penny and had no issues. Might be worth a shot.

    I will give those a try. I usually can find something at Kohl's, but ours quit carrying dresses several years ago, and the skirt styles now are hideous. Pants shopping makes me cry since I am not proportioned right for the way they are made. If they are big enough to go around my thighs, the waist gaps out half a mile. Or they ride so low that I would have to become a plumber. If they fit in the waist, they are five inches too short. I have seriously given up on ever finding a decent pair of pants.
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
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    It sounds like a lot of your problem stems from not looking thoroughly then - going into stores and looking around, you will find plenty of office appropriate clothes at all kinds of stores. BR has tons of office wear, that's mostly what they are known for (I don't really have much casual stuff from there, but tons of work clothes) - pencil skirts, button down shirts, cardigans, etc. Also researching online stores with free return policies - Revolve & piperlime are some more.
  • adorable_aly
    adorable_aly Posts: 398 Member
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    Ugh I hate it too. I'm 4''11 and nothing ever fits. Clothes are one thing, I mean jeans are impossible for me, so I live in leggins/shorts/skirts. But shoes, shoes are the worst, I cannot find one pair of shoes that fit me properly, because I have tiny child sized feet. Not only that but I have to find shoes that I can put my insoles in because I have messed up legs. I don't have any shoes that fit me properly apart from trainers. It sucks.

    Anyway rant over.

    I would seriously find a couple of things that kinda fit and get it tailored. I would do this but I never wear formal clothes, so it doesn't seem worth it lol, so pretty much everything is big for me. It's ok though because it means the flab is hidden.
  • ClareWantsProgress
    ClareWantsProgress Posts: 173 Member
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    Just looked online at Banana Republic and NOW I remember why I never tried shopping there - it is WAY too expensive for my salary!!! $150 jackets, $130 dresses . . . umm, no. Darn it - a few of things looked kind of cute, but can't afford it when I'm hoping not to be stuck at this weight forever.

    But I stand corrected on their selection - they do have some cute stuff, just never saw it on the racks while walking past. The sticker shock always kept me away.
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
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    You have to shop sales. Look at the sale section. I got a dress from there for $12 the other day. If you are serious about wanting new clothes you have to put a little effort into it. And for pants, sounds like you need a tailor.