even more frustrating now that Husband is on board!

Phrick · July 2013

So after me using MFP for about 5 months and losing 48 pounds, my husband has been noticing, and finally decided to use his membership and start tracking in a real effort. It's great news really, and I wish, hope and pray all the success in the world for him... but he's not doing it MY WAY :laugh: and it's so hard to remember that he has to do it "his way" within the guidelines of MFP. He's so into the mindset that he has to give up things, even said he has to eat low calorie, high volume food until his body gets used to the dramatically lower caloric intake he's now committed to. Which I can't wrap my mind around. But. "MY WAY" works for ME and may not work for him and it is a real struggle sometimes for me to remember that! It is like a part of me feels like he's just a noob and I've been fairly successful so far so obviously he should do everything the way I tell him to if he wants to be successful too. I have been only moderately good at remembering, I have to get better or the man is going to feel henpecked and browbeaten, and give up again.

JenRunTriHappyGirl · July 2013

Good for you for admitting and acknowledging! He will learn..... this place is full of forums of what to do and what not to do. Everybody is different and what some people say doesn't work, works well for others. Maybe he will feel more comfortable after a little while and allow things to come back to him. Maybe it is more of a mental thing than a physical thing to him. My husband is a gym rat and his is all mental. He always tells me that he has to be in the right frame of mind to work out and I always respond with "why? just go do it!" Good for him for getting it together and good for you for being supportive!

Francl27 · July 2013

Yeah I had to start like your husband too. He'll get to your way in time. Good for him!

rml_16 · July 2013

I wouldn't even discuss it with him. Do your thing, let him do his and don't talk about it. You'll feel better.

JUDDDing · July 2013

We have the same thing going here.

I'm on an odd diet, my wife is doing a normal low calorie diet.

She's in the fitness industry - so it probably really bugs her.

But we just do our own things and don't try to "fix" each other's diets.

dgagnon62 · July 2013

Your husband will do this his way, don't men do everything their own way! lol.......My husband and I both started around the same time, and although most people would think that he would have succeeded much faster than I, this is not the case! I am down 32 pounds, and he is only down 12 pounds. I try to help him as best I can, but I swear, everything I say, goes in one ear, and comes out the other.....I can only buy him the food, give him the tools and show him how....it's up to him to do the rest! I am his biggest cheerleader when he does accomplish something, but I am also there, booing him, when he does something so stupid!
Let your husband do this himself....you are a success story in your own, congrats! Keep up the great work......hopefully, the men will follow the lead of the women sooner or later......but then again, they never do ask for directions either! lol
:drinker:

Evilmuffin666 · July 2013

So after me using MFP for about 5 months and losing 48 pounds, my husband has been noticing, and finally decided to use his membership and start tracking in a real effort. It's great news really, and I wish, hope and pray all the success in the world for him... but he's not doing it MY WAY :laugh: and it's so hard to remember that he has to do it "his way" within the guidelines of MFP. He's so into the mindset that he has to give up things, even said he has to eat low calorie, high volume food until his body gets used to the dramatically lower caloric intake he's now committed to. Which I can't wrap my mind around. But. "MY WAY" works for ME and may not work for him and it is a real struggle sometimes for me to remember that! It is like a part of me feels like he's just a noob and I've been fairly successful so far so obviously he should do everything the way I tell him to if he wants to be successful too. I have been only moderately good at remembering, I have to get better or the man is going to feel henpecked and browbeaten, and give up again.

As I started to read this... the first Thing that came to mind is that you MUST be married to a German!!!! I am married to a German.... he is fantastic...... except he does have the stereotypical german attitude in some things. I am from Canada so sometimes our cultures clash on how to deal with things in life. Anyways, just do what you Need to do FOR YOU..... let him do things his way for him...... Keep up the great work!!!!

mommy3457 · July 2013

You each should just do what works best for you. My husband used eat HUGE breakfasts (anything and everything), then eat just meat and veggies for lunch, and a salad with water for dinner. He must have eaten at least 5,000 calories per day. He ate pretty much the whole breakfast buffet. Oh, and he worked all day as deck seaman in the navy. He ran five miles per day, and he lifted weights. He got in amazing shape. That was his way. I guess he actually ate way more and moved much more and saw great results. I lost 30 lbs. in a few months after giving birth by cutting my calories to 1200. I haven't gained the weight back. I eat more now, but for the initial cut, that is what I did. I ate what I wanted all day long and barely exercised. So, everyone has their way so just let him do it however he wants.

cebreisch · July 2013

It is really hard to remember that!! (What works for you may be different than what works for him.)

My husband started on MFP about 7 months after I did, and it was hard for me too. Fortunately, the conversations went pretty well....I'd say "This is the way I do it, or works for me..." and he'd tell me that that's great, but he's not there yet (at the point that I was in being willing to do whatever I was doing).

Just like he jumped into doing P90X. SOOOOOO not for me. At least not right now. Don't know that it will EVER be something I want to do. BUT it's something he's willing to do, and I respect and encourage him every step of the way.

We have been able to talk about things as far as what works for us, and how we're doing with it without having to worry about the other one being critical, and we're able to make suggestions or offer thoughts about different things. It can be really fun sometimes!!

Just wanted to let you know I understand where you're coming from.

For what it's worth.....

even more frustrating now that Husband is on board!

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