Shocking words from my Grandma.

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Trueray
Trueray Posts: 1,189 Member
in Chit-Chat
So I see my grandma maybe once every 4 years or so. She is a cool woman and all but one day we were talking about women and my future soul mate. She gave me a set of rules I should follow:

1. The girl must not be the same age as you or older. At-least 4 years younger because you need to remain the man in the relationship and always on top.

2. She must be a person of faith or she is not for you.

3. If I don't like her then she is not for you and am not coming to visit.

So I was like wtf people still think like that. I told her grandma sorry but those rules don't apply to me.
Was I out of line for saying that?
It totally caught me of guard.
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Replies

  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
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    If you marry someone one and expect to have any relationship with your family thereafter, they have to at least be tolerable for your family or it's just a flustercluck.

    that and just old school values is where she's coming from.
  • Kerri_is_so_very
    Kerri_is_so_very Posts: 1,005 Member
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    If you see her once every 4 years...you just smile and nod :) And then move on to the next subject ;)
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    I'm seven years older than my SO....and he definitely is the man in the relationship...altho we 50/50 who's on top
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
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    Try to understand that she comes from a different time. Things have changed a lot.

    You only see her once every 4 years? That's sad.

    Indulge her when you see her and be polite and do so in a respectful way.
  • _Waffle_
    _Waffle_ Posts: 13,049 Member
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    So I see my grandma maybe once every 4 years or so. She is a cool woman and all but one day we were talking about women and my future soul mate. She gave me a set of rules I should follow:

    1. The girl must not be the same age as you or older. At-least 4 years younger because you need to remain the man in the relationship and always on top.

    2. She must be a person of faith or she is not for you.

    3. If I don't like her then she is not for you and am not coming to visit.

    So I was like wtf people still think like that. I told her grandma sorry but those rules don't apply to me.
    Was I out of line for saying that?
    It totally caught me of guard.

    4. She must stay in the kitchen and make sandwiches.
  • skullshank
    skullshank Posts: 4,324 Member
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    Try to understand that she comes from a different time. Things have changed a lot.

    You only see her once every 4 years? That's sad.

    Indulge her when you see her and be polite and do so in a respectful way.

    this. times have changed IMMENSELY.

    also, try to go by alex's 50/50 on top rule. :flowerforyou:
  • Trueray
    Trueray Posts: 1,189 Member
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    I guess you guys are right, she is from a different time and I got to be more patient.

    Still was not expecting it because my mom is total opposite. My mother does not care who or what age the woman is. As long as she is not a man killer then she would be happy for me.
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,908 Member
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    I don't think you were out of line, but her rule #3 is probably true. If Grandma doesn't like the person, they are probably not a good person. The rest are all hogwash.
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
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    I'm seven years older than my SO....and he definitely is the man in the relationship...altho we 50/50 who's on top
    Some great words of wisdom in there.
  • Jersey_Devil
    Jersey_Devil Posts: 4,142 Member
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    She probably forgot about the whole conversation by now and is wondering where she put her dentures. Dont sweat it.
  • ChuckNourish
    ChuckNourish Posts: 39
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    You only see her once every 4 years? That's sad.


    I agree. That is just sad. I don't understand individualist societies.
  • Trueray
    Trueray Posts: 1,189 Member
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    You only see her once every 4 years? That's sad.


    I agree. That is just sad. I don't understand individualist societies.

    She lives in the Caribbean while I live in Canada.
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    You only see her once every 4 years? That's sad.


    There could be a plethora of reasons why the OP only sees her once every four years or so.
  • Marll
    Marll Posts: 904 Member
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    Grandma seems to have some pretty solid advice there. She's a lot older than you and probably done a lot more living and observing. At some point most people think that their parents don't know how things work, and then you become one and go "Oh, wow they were right". I'd be willing to bet there is some wisdom to what she's saying there.
  • ChuckNourish
    ChuckNourish Posts: 39
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    You only see her once every 4 years? That's sad.


    I agree. That is just sad. I don't understand individualist societies.

    She lives in the Caribbean while I live in Canada.

    Yeah... my grandmother lived in another country all my life... I still saw her several times a year but everyone has different living situations.
  • cseckinger1
    cseckinger1 Posts: 64
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    If you see her once every 4 years...you just smile and nod :) And then move on to the next subject ;) I totally agree w/this one! Grandma's mean well.
  • Bobbie8786
    Bobbie8786 Posts: 202 Member
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    I guess you guys are right, she is from a different time and I got to be more patient.

    Still was not expecting it because my mom is total opposite. My mother does not care who or what age the woman is. As long as she is not a man killer then she would be happy for me.

    Your grandmother and mother won't be living with whomever you end up with, you will. Don't ever choose based on someone else's expectations of what is right for you. Having said that, when in love people tend to be blissfully ignorant and a cold objective eye can be a lifesaver. Based on what you have said though, grandma is probably not sufficiently objective to fill that role.
  • elkahallick
    elkahallick Posts: 1,138 Member
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    I think your grandma sounds awesome! In a crazy, controlling over bearing kind of a way........
  • booncey
    booncey Posts: 75 Member
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    I find older people hilarious. She was just trying to offer her words of wisdom...even though they are a little silly...funny and very out of touch with the current times.
  • flex500
    flex500 Posts: 63
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    So I see my grandma maybe once every 4 years or so. She is a cool woman and all but one day we were talking about women and my future soul mate. She gave me a set of rules I should follow:

    1. The girl must not be the same age as you or older. At-least 4 years younger because you need to remain the man in the relationship and always on top.

    2. She must be a person of faith or she is not for you.

    3. If I don't like her then she is not for you and am not coming to visit.

    So I was like wtf people still think like that. I told her grandma sorry but those rules don't apply to me.
    Was I out of line for saying that?
    It totally caught me of guard.


    i think your a little sensitive. Shocking words from your garndma would be she's a coke and meth dealer and wants you to work for her.

    The age thing is funny...just laugh at that.

    number 2 is right on IF you are a person a of faith. Meaning if you are a strong Christian or Jew or Muslin and that is honestly the most important thing in your life uh...yeah...you better make sure that is in line and your spouse shares that faith. So I wouldn't say she has to be of a certain faith but your views on religion (and money) better line the hell up.

    number 3 is funny


    you have to laugh it off but nothing there is even close to "shocking"

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