Shocking words from my Grandma.
So I see my grandma maybe once every 4 years or so. She is a cool woman and all but one day we were talking about women and my future soul mate. She gave me a set of rules I should follow:
1. The girl must not be the same age as you or older. At-least 4 years younger because you need to remain the man in the relationship and always on top.
2. She must be a person of faith or she is not for you.
3. If I don't like her then she is not for you and am not coming to visit.
So I was like wtf people still think like that. I told her grandma sorry but those rules don't apply to me.
Was I out of line for saying that?
It totally caught me of guard.
1. The girl must not be the same age as you or older. At-least 4 years younger because you need to remain the man in the relationship and always on top.
2. She must be a person of faith or she is not for you.
3. If I don't like her then she is not for you and am not coming to visit.
So I was like wtf people still think like that. I told her grandma sorry but those rules don't apply to me.
Was I out of line for saying that?
It totally caught me of guard.
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Replies
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If you marry someone one and expect to have any relationship with your family thereafter, they have to at least be tolerable for your family or it's just a flustercluck.
that and just old school values is where she's coming from.0 -
If you see her once every 4 years...you just smile and nod
And then move on to the next subject 
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I'm seven years older than my SO....and he definitely is the man in the relationship...altho we 50/50 who's on top0
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Try to understand that she comes from a different time. Things have changed a lot.
You only see her once every 4 years? That's sad.
Indulge her when you see her and be polite and do so in a respectful way.0 -
So I see my grandma maybe once every 4 years or so. She is a cool woman and all but one day we were talking about women and my future soul mate. She gave me a set of rules I should follow:
1. The girl must not be the same age as you or older. At-least 4 years younger because you need to remain the man in the relationship and always on top.
2. She must be a person of faith or she is not for you.
3. If I don't like her then she is not for you and am not coming to visit.
So I was like wtf people still think like that. I told her grandma sorry but those rules don't apply to me.
Was I out of line for saying that?
It totally caught me of guard.
4. She must stay in the kitchen and make sandwiches.0 -
Try to understand that she comes from a different time. Things have changed a lot.
You only see her once every 4 years? That's sad.
Indulge her when you see her and be polite and do so in a respectful way.
this. times have changed IMMENSELY.
also, try to go by alex's 50/50 on top rule. :flowerforyou:0 -
I guess you guys are right, she is from a different time and I got to be more patient.
Still was not expecting it because my mom is total opposite. My mother does not care who or what age the woman is. As long as she is not a man killer then she would be happy for me.0 -
I don't think you were out of line, but her rule #3 is probably true. If Grandma doesn't like the person, they are probably not a good person. The rest are all hogwash.0
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Some great words of wisdom in there.I'm seven years older than my SO....and he definitely is the man in the relationship...altho we 50/50 who's on top0 -
She probably forgot about the whole conversation by now and is wondering where she put her dentures. Dont sweat it.0
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You only see her once every 4 years? That's sad.
I agree. That is just sad. I don't understand individualist societies.0 -
You only see her once every 4 years? That's sad.
I agree. That is just sad. I don't understand individualist societies.
She lives in the Caribbean while I live in Canada.0 -
You only see her once every 4 years? That's sad.
There could be a plethora of reasons why the OP only sees her once every four years or so.0 -
Grandma seems to have some pretty solid advice there. She's a lot older than you and probably done a lot more living and observing. At some point most people think that their parents don't know how things work, and then you become one and go "Oh, wow they were right". I'd be willing to bet there is some wisdom to what she's saying there.0
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You only see her once every 4 years? That's sad.
I agree. That is just sad. I don't understand individualist societies.
She lives in the Caribbean while I live in Canada.
Yeah... my grandmother lived in another country all my life... I still saw her several times a year but everyone has different living situations.0 -
If you see her once every 4 years...you just smile and nod And then move on to the next subject I totally agree w/this one! Grandma's mean well.0
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I guess you guys are right, she is from a different time and I got to be more patient.
Still was not expecting it because my mom is total opposite. My mother does not care who or what age the woman is. As long as she is not a man killer then she would be happy for me.
Your grandmother and mother won't be living with whomever you end up with, you will. Don't ever choose based on someone else's expectations of what is right for you. Having said that, when in love people tend to be blissfully ignorant and a cold objective eye can be a lifesaver. Based on what you have said though, grandma is probably not sufficiently objective to fill that role.0 -
I think your grandma sounds awesome! In a crazy, controlling over bearing kind of a way........0
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I find older people hilarious. She was just trying to offer her words of wisdom...even though they are a little silly...funny and very out of touch with the current times.0
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So I see my grandma maybe once every 4 years or so. She is a cool woman and all but one day we were talking about women and my future soul mate. She gave me a set of rules I should follow:
1. The girl must not be the same age as you or older. At-least 4 years younger because you need to remain the man in the relationship and always on top.
2. She must be a person of faith or she is not for you.
3. If I don't like her then she is not for you and am not coming to visit.
So I was like wtf people still think like that. I told her grandma sorry but those rules don't apply to me.
Was I out of line for saying that?
It totally caught me of guard.
i think your a little sensitive. Shocking words from your garndma would be she's a coke and meth dealer and wants you to work for her.
The age thing is funny...just laugh at that.
number 2 is right on IF you are a person a of faith. Meaning if you are a strong Christian or Jew or Muslin and that is honestly the most important thing in your life uh...yeah...you better make sure that is in line and your spouse shares that faith. So I wouldn't say she has to be of a certain faith but your views on religion (and money) better line the hell up.
number 3 is funny
you have to laugh it off but nothing there is even close to "shocking"0 -
Grandma's advice was "shocking"? How so?
She's from a "different time"? You mean one where we didn't have a >50% divorce rate and >40% out of wedlock births? There weren't 54 million aborted babies?
Yeah, they were really stupid back then. Morals? Values? PLEASE! Who needs that ****?
Families today are awesome and have no ill effects on children right? Growing up in a single-parent household isn't the biggest factor in bad outcomes later in life right?
The truth about couples from match.com the man is usually taller, older, makes more money.
Of course today everyone is so smart we don't need things like values or to teach children right from wrong when the media and govt can do that for us.
Wow wow wow. So much for respecting your elders. I suppose she hasn't learned **** in life. Glad you are so smart you should educate her about how to have a successful marriage and raise a great family.
Oh wait...you've done none of those things yet.0 -
Yeah...could definitley just be words from another generation.
You could just never tell your spouse's age to her...i mean, like how often could that possibly come up? lol *shrug*0 -
Sounds silly to me. But if you have a good relationship with her, smile, nod, and say thank you. No need to get into a fight over it if you two already have a good relationship.0
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Grandma's advice was "shocking"? How so?
She's from a "different time"? You mean one where we didn't have a >50% divorce and >70 out of wedlock births?
Yeah, they were really stupid back then. Morals? Values? PLEASE! Who needs that ****?
Families today are awesome and have no ill effects on children right? Growing up in a single-parent household isn't the biggest factor in bad outcomes later in life right?
The truth about couples from match.com the man is usually taller, older, makes more money.
Of course today everyone is so smart we don't need things like values or to teach children right from wrong when the media and govt can do that for us.
Wow wow wow. So much for respecting your elders. I suppose she hasn't learned **** in life. Glad you are so smart you should educate her about how to have a successful marriage and raise a great family.
Oh wait...you've done none of those things yet.
Whoa, hold onto yer britches there, sir. (Ma'm?) Where in the world did that outburst come from? Projecting much?0 -
Grandma's advice was "shocking"? How so?
She's from a "different time"? You mean one where we didn't have a >50% divorce and >70 out of wedlock births?
Yeah, they were really stupid back then. Morals? Values? PLEASE! Who needs that ****?
Families today are awesome and have no ill effects on children right? Growing up in a single-parent household isn't the biggest factor in bad outcomes later in life right?
The truth about couples from match.com the man is usually taller, older, makes more money.
Of course today everyone is so smart we don't need things like values or to teach children right from wrong when the media and govt can do that for us.
Wow wow wow. So much for respecting your elders. I suppose she hasn't learned **** in life. Glad you are so smart you should educate her about how to have a successful marriage and raise a great family.
Oh wait...you've done none of those things yet.
Harsh much??
I mean, I tend to agree that values and morals nowadays seem to have declined, but i mean...dag, get off the homie, SON lol0 -
I don't think you were out of line, but her rule #3 is probably true. If Grandma doesn't like the person, they are probably not a good person. The rest are all hogwash.
Depends on if she decides to like the person based on the first two rules. Which, as you stated, are hogwash.0 -
My great grandma would leave the room whenever a black person came on tv.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
I heart Grandma's! Mine was the best, she had a gay boyfriend...unfortunately, she had no clue he was gay...HE had no clue he was her boyfriend!0
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You're grandma and my grandma should play canasta together. lol0
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I think your grandma sounds awesome! In a crazy, controlling over bearing kind of a way........
this... it came from a place of love, and although probably not the best way she could've put it...
choose wisely young grasshopper :smokin:0
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