Breaking...

Bioc
Bioc Posts: 96
in Chit-Chat
I'm really about to BREAKDOWN, my annoy ex has now decided to spread rumours and call me a slag+cheat. Saying I slept with him, at the start of my relationship with Vincent (my boyfriend). Which is totally untrue and he keeps 'threatening' to tell Vince, and I've kept saying 'go ahead' as I have nothing to hide and it isn't true. Even told Vince myself what's happening in a txt just now, need to wait for a reply when he's up. But its making me upset and breakdown mode as I've been bullied all my life. Its bringing back memories of being bullied and how he's trying to ruin the relationship with the LOVE of my life & the man I can see + want my future with. Upsets me, cause I haven't done anything wrong that would ruin my relationship. I'm not a cheat and never will me. But the thought of a lie so small, that he's ecsclating scares me. I don't want to be bullied again :'( & I don't want anything to effect my relationship, especially not this week. As its my mans 21st birthday. He don't need drama, besides the drama of celebrating it birthday. HELP ME SOMEBODY!! :(

Replies

  • Bioc
    Bioc Posts: 96
    If you have nothing to hide and your boyfriend loves you like you do love him he will believe you and there is nothing to worry about

    Im not worried about that? Im worried about the bullying and my ex keeps starting for no reason :'(
  • pennelope515
    pennelope515 Posts: 369
    Why did he decide to start spreading these rumors? Did something trigger it?
    Def. explain the situation to your bf, and you have two trust each other then you will be fine.
    If you don't tell him, and he hears that then he may not believe you, so make sure that you are honest.
  • pennelope515
    pennelope515 Posts: 369
    How long has that been going on?
  • Bioc
    Bioc Posts: 96
    Why did he decide to start spreading these rumors? Did something trigger it?
    Def. explain the situation to your bf, and you have two trust each other then you will be fine.
    If you don't tell him, and he hears that then he may not believe you, so make sure that you are honest.

    I'm seeing him tonight, but also told him in a text cause I wanted him to know.

    My ex is autistic, I dated him cause I felt a connection as my brother has autism too.. so I can handle it. We lasted 14 months, then he dumped me out the blue. Left me heart broken for a couple of months, then I got told that its just how he is and move on. So I did.. eventually and ever since I got with my current boyfriend its none stop drama, harassment or lies. I can't handle it, I have to much going on at the moment and I live in East London in a big talkative community. I've already had inbox's on facebook, messages and face-2-face name-calling and getting told I'm a slag+cheat among other names. I dislike it, I haven't done anything and I'm the happiest I ever been with my boyfriend, lies like this tend to break a relationship too.
  • pennelope515
    pennelope515 Posts: 369
    Is he doing this via phone, internet, or in person?
  • pennelope515
    pennelope515 Posts: 369
    So he's telling other people and it's getting back to you? He is not telling you this stuff directly, or is he?
  • Bioc
    Bioc Posts: 96
    How long has that been going on?

    Since I got with my current boyfriend, Oct 2012. But my ex dumped me April 2012, I was in a hostel and currently pregnant at the time. Due to the upset of being dumped and he blocked me out I lost the baby. Then I got my own flat in August.. decided to move on cause I can't hang on to the past. I've been thru enough to know that. Then started talking to my boyfriend early September and we started dating in October. Ever since then, my ex has been kicking up. Harassment, turning up at my flat for attention, spreading lies, saying he "Loves me and will wait for me" and other stuff. I don't want him in my life or near me. The relationship I have with my current boyfriend is more in-front and mature then any relationship I've had. We've got my flat, we got kittens together, I work and hes at UNI. We cherish the time we have and it isn't a teenage "sex" relationship lol.
  • Bioc
    Bioc Posts: 96
    Is he doing this via phone, internet, or in person?

    All three.
    ~
    So he's telling other people and it's getting back to you? He is not telling you this stuff directly, or is he?

    Yeah but then I confronted him via facebook and he was trying to re-word what I was saying. Its annoying, then its like "Well I'm going to tell him anyways, break you's up". Proper all evil and that. :grumble:
  • pennelope515
    pennelope515 Posts: 369
    #1 change your number
    #2 block him on any social media sites
    #3 block any 3rd party that is bullying you on social media sites
    #4 Do not give out your new number except to trusted people
    #5 If he comes to your home, call the police.
    #6 If he tend to bump into each other in common places (i.e. the grocery store, go to a different one)
  • Bioc
    Bioc Posts: 96
    #1 change your number <-- Have done, several times.
    #2 block him on any social media sites <-- Also done this, he makes new accounts or copy's photos of a distant friend and claims its a "new account".
    #3 block any 3rd party that is bullying you on social media sites <-- Done this. But its more face-2-face bulllying too.
    #4 Do not give out your new number except to trusted people <-- Only trust my boyfriend and best mate lol. Yet it still gets out.
    #5 If he comes to your home, call the police. <-- Tried this, they went to his house and his mum claimed that I was harassing him. So cause he's autistic, they gave me a caution? So he used his disability to get out of it.
    #6 If he tend to bump into each other in common places (i.e. the grocery store, go to a different one) <-- The ones we go to are the only local ones. I couldn't go to a certain shop without my boyfriend for months cause of the thought of seeing my ex + his family and the abuse.
  • pennelope515
    pennelope515 Posts: 369
    :frown:
  • Bioc
    Bioc Posts: 96
    :frown:

    That was my reaction when I found out I'm a cheater, lol. Amazes me, I must have cheated in my sleep! :3
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,153 Member
    Why did he decide to start spreading these rumors? Did something trigger it?
    Def. explain the situation to your bf, and you have two trust each other then you will be fine.
    If you don't tell him, and he hears that then he may not believe you, so make sure that you are honest.

    I'm seeing him tonight, but also told him in a text cause I wanted him to know.

    My ex is autistic, I dated him cause I felt a connection as my brother has autism too.. so I can handle it. We lasted 14 months, then he dumped me out the blue. Left me heart broken for a couple of months, then I got told that its just how he is and move on. So I did.. eventually and ever since I got with my current boyfriend its none stop drama, harassment or lies. I can't handle it, I have to much going on at the moment and I live in East London in a big talkative community. I've already had inbox's on facebook, messages and face-2-face name-calling and getting told I'm a slag+cheat among other names. I dislike it, I haven't done anything and I'm the happiest I ever been with my boyfriend, lies like this tend to break a relationship too.

    As someone with a mild form of autism, the condition is no excuse. Yes, we tend to have a problem with major changes in routine (which might be the root of this entirely inappropriate behavior), but as adults, we have to learn how to deal with the real world. If the police are letting him off because of his condition, get a psychiatrist familiar with autism spectrum disorders involved. A professional can verify that he is not the victim and can aid you in getting a restraining order, if necessary. Do what is needed to get through to him that things are never going back to the way they were, even if that means bringing in an impartial third party. Good luck.
  • britttttx3
    britttttx3 Posts: 458
    Tell your current boyfriend the situation, and then block this other kid, on facebook, phone number, whatever. He'll eventually get over it and you won't have to deal with the stress involved.
  • MFPRat
    MFPRat Posts: 201 Member
    I would not respond to any of his intrusions, good, bad or otherwise. Once you respond to him, he will intrude even more. Don't give him the time of day in any way, shape or form.

    I have a hard time believing that he is able to get through all of your number changing and social network blocking.

    The only way he is getting through social networks is because you accept his requests. Delete and block him, then take a break from social networking all together...you won't die, I promise.

    I also have a hard time believing that you've only given your phone number to two people, yet he still gets it. However, there is a way for you to block callers and I suggest you do that.

    About the in person bullying, in your face bullying, don't react, call a cop. Tell them you are being assaulted.

    I'm sure other people know about his "condition" and don't really trust what he says. I know I wouldn't.

    In other words, the more you react to him, the more he will do it. So stop it.
  • ruth3698
    ruth3698 Posts: 305 Member
    If it's that bad....I would get rid of any of my social networking accounts.There should also be an option on facebook that will only let current friends message you if you don't want to give that up.I would also save any and all correspondence and record any instancez of him confronting you so that you can build a harrasment case and go get a restraining order.If that's not possible,there is always just ignoring him.
  • mustang289
    mustang289 Posts: 299 Member
    Definitely tell your Guidance Counselor or Homeroom Teacher.
    Maybe you can get him suspended or expelled.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    I would not respond to any of his intrusions, good, bad or otherwise. Once you respond to him, he will intrude even more. Don't give him the time of day in any way, shape or form.

    I have a hard time believing that he is able to get through all of your number changing and social network blocking.

    The only way he is getting through social networks is because you accept his requests. Delete and block him, then take a break from social networking all together...you won't die, I promise.

    I also have a hard time believing that you've only given your phone number to two people, yet he still gets it. However, there is a way for you to block callers and I suggest you do that.

    About the in person bullying, in your face bullying, don't react, call a cop. Tell them you are being assaulted.

    I'm sure other people know about his "condition" and don't really trust what he says. I know I wouldn't.

    In other words, the more you react to him, the more he will do it. So stop it.

    all of this
  • ruth3698
    ruth3698 Posts: 305 Member
    I would not respond to any of his intrusions, good, bad or otherwise. Once you respond to him, he will intrude even more. Don't give him the time of day in any way, shape or form.

    I have a hard time believing that he is able to get through all of your number changing and social network blocking.

    The only way he is getting through social networks is because you accept his requests. Delete and block him, then take a break from social networking all together...you won't die, I promise.

    I also have a hard time believing that you've only given your phone number to two people, yet he still gets it. However, there is a way for you to block callers and I suggest you do that.

    About the in person bullying, in your face bullying, don't react, call a cop. Tell them you are being assaulted.

    I'm sure other people know about his "condition" and don't really trust what he says. I know I wouldn't.

    In other words, the more you react to him, the more he will do it. So stop it.

    I agree^^^^^^ this.
  • ReNewYou
    ReNewYou Posts: 49
    He seems to be a control freak. I would never allow someone else control how I feel. "He who angers you, controls you"-Buddha. It sounds like he is angry that you moved on. I would validate those feels in his. Something like “It seems like you are upset that I have moved on” This makes him look at his self and he cannot blame you for his actions anymore. If it continues I would just keep validating how he feels. Don't take ownership of it or try to change it. Those who know you know the truth, the rest, well who cares. Good luck and if you would like more help and advice please let me know. I deal with angry, control freaks for a living.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    Unfriend him on FB

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