In need of hugs and support.

I have been going to the gym pretty regularly and I have really been trying to lose weight but I can't look at myself in the mirror without noticing how much I jiggle in all the wrong places and how it seems like no matter how hard I try I do not seem to be loseing as quickly as I would like to.

I see people at the gym that are running on the treadmill on a really high incline and here I am on my machine going 4.5 mph at my fastest and that isn't for any serious amount of time that is usually my jogging speed when I am doing my C25K app.

I am just getti so frustrated with my lack of progress and I am really thinking about drasticly changing my intake to food that I know are good for me but I can not stand the taste of, salad.

Just today when I was in my Zumba class I couldn't help but to watch myself in the mirror and see that I am still really heavy and thinking to myself that I should workout more.....as I was working out!

Replies

  • It is hard not to want everything to happen at once! My biggest downfall so far has been ... THIS IS NOT HAPPENING FAST ENOUGH I AM GIVING UP!!!

    Nothing worse than making a whole lifestyle change and seeing no results!!!

    It is hard when you already have low self esteem and you are not kind to yourself anyway. Then you do put in a big effort and still nothing.

    I have found this time around I have pushed through that stage!! because I have a lovely diabetic nurse who is just hilarious and encouraging. i didn't think I lost enough weight one week and she told me 'if you did a big poo, you would be over a kilo weightloss, i'm sure!"

    So funny as it is, those are the things you need to take into account, I was so desperate to even lose half a kilo that when my scales reflected i did i was stoked, then of course I would drink half a glass of water and be .5kg over my normal weight!!

    Well my scales are still sitting at my back fence where I threw them one night in a fit of rage. They are staying there.

    Your body needs to catch up!!! your body is stuck in the no excercise and bad food routine, and like all good overweight people, your body doesn't want healthy after all that yummy fatty food!! So it resists i think lol.

    After one solid month of training and better eating my weight has started to fall off and my appetite is small. but wow that first month was hard, because you have to tell yourself that even without seeing results you really are doing something healthy and it WILL happen if you stick at it.

    if you ever want to have a chat more about this kind of stuff just messsage me because i understand so well what you are going through, it has been what has been stopping me losing weight for years! Good Luck!
  • look at the weight you have lost so far also :-)
  • mushroomcup
    mushroomcup Posts: 145 Member
    I know this is probably cheesy and maybe not helpful, but you need to feel confident and happy with yourself and not "put it off until I'm x size," you know? If you say, "I'll be so lovely when I'm [however many] pounds," you'll get there and there will always be SOMETHING wrong. Screw that and pick the things you like about yourself to focus on and make even better. (And you are lovely; you are beating yourself up for no reason. You have a really pretty face and your weight seems very evenly distributed - which is super lucky for you - so while you see "jiggl[ing] in the wrong places," it's not noticeable to others.)

    Also, I wouldn't limit my diet to foods I dislike. You don't need to eat salad to lose weight. I think that when people do this, they are likely to fall off the wagon or get depressed about the whole thing and self-sabotage, making the whole process longer even if you do stick with it.

    Make a manageable plan that you can stick with and be proud of your accomplishments as you go. You've already lost 13 lbs. Be stoked!
  • Coyoteldy
    Coyoteldy Posts: 219 Member
    Hang in there sweety.. it takes time to get everything to adjust to a new exercise routine... I love the fact you are doing couch to 5K.. I am a run walker ( really bad knees) and if you keep it up you will lose!!! I do interval training I am now at two minutes walking 4.0 mph and two minutes running (4.8 mph) and that REALLY makes me work out and sweat. I finally got my best time ever for a half marathon last Sunday and I know its because I just kept at the training.. you can do this..keep the faith and keep working out...keep your intake below your maintenance calories and you WILL lose. Mix it up with some strength training may help too... don't go too drastic on calories or your body may "hoard" them and slow down..
    You CAN do this..one day at a time....
  • mcw1976
    mcw1976 Posts: 47 Member
    I can really understand the frustration of not losing weight when you work so hard. I hit a plateau lay August after losing 60lbs. Last December I had to go in for a surgery and gained back 10 lbs. Just recently I went from working outside to working in an office. .. another 10 lbs.

    I found that I was doing a lot of snacking and not working out as much.

    I am hoping to get back on track starting now... I don't want to see myself hit 300 lbs on a scale again.

    If you'd like, add me as a friend and we can help motivate each other to a healthier place.
  • bexbug
    bexbug Posts: 5 Member
    Just keep swimming, swimming, swimming....
  • welly5
    welly5 Posts: 293 Member
    You are not alone! When I first started going to fitness classes I had lost 30 pounds and discovered that I was still the biggest girl there by far, and I wasn't even big anymore! The girls in the class were SO FIT. Like carved out of stone. I normally feel good about myself but for some reason that really got to me.

    Later, I was reading a blog post written by one of those 'carved out of stone' girls and she wrote about how she wore something unflattering to class and ended up bursting into tears when she saw herself working out in the mirror.

    People are busy focusing on their own workouts, their own issues, and everyone EVERYONE feels that way sometimes. It's ok to feel a little bit bad from time to time, as long as you know deep down that you are looking good, getting better, and (the VERY most important) putting the best effort that you can in.

    Those people running fast weren't born running fast, and anyone super cut definitely didn't always look that way. You are there, working out and doing good for yourself so don't be too hard on yourself! It will takes as long as it takes.
  • born2drum
    born2drum Posts: 731 Member
    Answer this question as honestly as possible? Did you gain all that weight over night?
    If you answered no, then, you won't lose weight over night either.

    You will feel like you aren't losing weight. Heck, I look way thinner than before and I still see a fat guy in the mirror so what I am trying to say is that it's all mental.

    The weight will come off with hard work, dedication, and time. This will not take 2, 3 or 4 months. It may very well take you 6-8 months before you transform but you must first come to terms that it will take time.

    Best of luck
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    Just today when I was in my Zumba class I couldn't help but to watch myself in the mirror and see that I am still really heavy and thinking to myself that I should workout more.....as I was working out!

    This happens to me sometimes. At my gym, I'd end up close to the mirrors on one of the machines and be critiquing my body the whole time. And at home once I was working out in a sports bra and short shorts and was so grossed out by how I looked in the mirror I put on a shirt. I'm in a MUCH better frame of mind if there are no mirrors.
  • Quote for this situation:
    "Never give up on your goals because of the time it will take to accomplish them,that time WILL pass anyways"
    Try to stay motivated.
  • mahanaibu
    mahanaibu Posts: 505 Member
    I'm going to take this from a different perspective. You are doing great things with your exercise, and one day you will hit a point where you'll break through a wall, and then another one....

    But you mention that you are not eating very healthfully now and that perhaps you ought to. You can't really do all of this with exercise alone; the two go hand in hand and one feeds the other, so to speak. Eating better will help you take off some more pounds; taking off the pounds will make you feelin lighter and stronger and able to take on more intensiy at the gym. Yes, slow weight loss is fine, but 13 pounds in something ike 8 months is very slow, especially when you're toward the beginning of your journey.

    It might be helpful if you opened your diary. What you are doing is so good for you, but perhaps you could use some help, just one step at a time, on the eating part of this.
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    Ok, you know what? Weight loss takes time. A long time. It's boring and frustrating and never happens as quickly as we want it to. Accepting that fact is really important, otherwise it's so easy to panic and psych yourself out.

    I have reached my goal and am really fairly happy with how I look (always some room for improvement :wink: ) but there are still days when I look in the mirror and think "ugh". I've learned that some days, it's best not to linger too long in front of the mirror. Then the next day, it's fine, I like how I look again. I'm not saying it's the same - obviously you still have some to lose, so likely you'll see more areas you want to change, but I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in those thoughts, and they don't necessarily go away once you reach your goal. Sometimes you just have to let them go and not make things worse by standing in front of the mirror and critiquing yourself. Looking at yourself in the mirror while you're working out? Well, no one's going to look pretty then. Look in the mirror if you have to, to check form, but otherwise, stop torturing yourself.

    You've lost 13 lbs, so you have made significant progress. Maybe not as fast as you want, but you've definitely made progress and I'm sure changes are noticeable. Have you taken any progress photos? They can help to show you how far you've come.

    With the running, stop comparing yourself to other people. The only person you're in competition with is yourself. Look at what you're doing now compared to what you were doing say a year ago. Aim to improve on your performance, not other people's. Running is hard, and it takes time for your body to adapt. If you're doing the C25k app, then you're still just a beginner. You're not going to be able to go as hard or fast as people who have been running a long time. I'm not just trying to make you feel better, but read any running magazine/website, or hang around on running forums, and you'll see that running is something that it takes time to build up your abilities.

    Without knowing the details of every calorie, it sounds like you're doing everything you reasonably can. By "reasonably", I mean finding that balance between achieving your goals and living in a way that you can sustain and be happy. Doing endless hours of cardio isn't the solution, and drastically changing your food choices to things that you don't enjoy isn't the solution. How long are you going to be able to keep that up before your mind and body rebel? Til you burn out? It's also not necessary. Some people like to be very strict with their food choices, and it works for them. Most people are not very successful when they feel restricted or "on a diet". It's a recipe for yo-yo dieting. You do not have to eat certain foods to lose weight. You don't have to eat salad. :flowerforyou: Eat the foods you like. Log them. Stick to a reasonable calorie goal. Make any changes to your diet that you want to over time, but don't force yourself to eat foods you don't like, and cut out all foods you do like.

    Ultimately, your body is only going to let go of fat at a certain rate. You could drastically change your intake, and push yourself harder to workout more, but what you risk is actually losing more lean mass rather than fat, and that's going to make the "jiggle" situation worse. Pace yourself, and be gentle with yourself. You are putting a lot of work into taking care of your body, and you should love and respect yourself for that, not berate yourself for not losing faster. This is going to take time, and you're doing what you need to do. Patience. :flowerforyou:
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    But you mention that you are not eating very healthfully now and that perhaps you ought to. You can't really do all of this with exercise alone; the two go hand in hand and one feeds the other, so to speak. Eating better will help you take off some more pounds;
    She said perhaps she ought to eat food that she can't stand. Absolutely not necessary for weight loss (or health).
  • mazdauk
    mazdauk Posts: 1,380 Member
    Look at your ticker - its moving along just fine! Keep to your calorie goals and weigh your food - for me, it was not about cutting things out but eating a "sensible" portion of things.

    You know how you measure out pasta and think, "that doesn't look enough" and throw in another couple of handfuls, cut off a "small" lump of parmesan to grate, fill the bowl and think - "oh, I've grated it now so we might as well eat it", "There's only a little bit of that left so I'll just tidy it up then I can wash the dish" - all those little bits add up to too much. It only takes 100 calories per day surplus to put on 1lb in a month. That's only a 2-finger Kitkat. So by eating at a deficit everything will go, but it didn't go on in a day so its not going to come off in a day. Look at what you want to lose and remember its not healthy to lose more than 2lb a week at your current size, 1lb a week as you get lower.

    We're never happy with our bodies whatever - and we wouldn't be on a diet and fitness site if we were happy, would we? And to prove we're never happy whatever our size (unless we stop being hard on ourselves and demanding perfection)...... In my first job they opened a gym at a discount for staff, with the first three months free. I joined, and went along to a jazz class. I felt I was the fattest, most unsupple person there - and at the time I was 19 years old and a UK size 10-12.

    I look back now at all those years before I had kids when I wouldn't wear shorts, or strappy tops, or bikinis, and wonder what I was worried about.:ohwell:

    When I got dressed this morning I felt really depressed about my flabby stomach and the stretch marks and post-c-section flap, and that I'm not going to reach my goal weight before my vacation. But hey, my dress covers it and as I'm not likely to pose for Playboy no-one knows its there:happy: And I'm 30lb lighter than I was this time last year, and a whole lot more toned:happy: :happy:

    Don't be hard on yourself, you're doing the right thing but be realistic about the time it will take. If there was a magic "shrink" button we'd all have pressed it:bigsmile: feel free to add me if I can help
  • tarashley13
    tarashley13 Posts: 114 Member
    Just remember that you didn't see each pound being added to your body, so you might not notice it right away.

    Baby steps, girl.

    You got this!!!
  • Chadomaniac
    Chadomaniac Posts: 1,785 Member
    IN4HUGZZ
  • DocMarr
    DocMarr Posts: 132 Member
    Someone once gave me a great piece of advice just as I was starting out on a 4-year degree and feeling a bit daunted about the length of time it would take. They said 'That time will pass whether you do it or whether you don't, but if you do it, at the end of the 4 years you will have your degree".

    That advice really helped me to see things in perspective and it struck me that it could be applied to your situation...

    The next 6 months (3 years, rest of your life...) will pass whether you exercise and eat healthily or whether you eat crap and sit on your butt all day. However... if you eat healthily and exercise for the next six months (3 years, rest of your life), then you'll be healthier and fitter and you will have the body you want.

    Getting a degree is 4 years of hard work - getting a healthy and fit body is also hard work - but it has even bigger benefits. Stick with it. Those months will pass and if you keep on working at it eventually you will come to love yourself.

    I'm 52 and it is only in the last year that I have finally come to terms with myself and love my body. I wish I'd done it at your age.

    Big HUGS - you can do it!!
  • BerryH
    BerryH Posts: 4,698 Member
    13lbs down so far is no mean feat!

    Running at all is freaking amazing. Inclines aren't all that, and can lead to injury. I've been running for 15 years and I'm still super slow, but we're lapping everyone still sat on the couch, right?

    I was by far the fattest and oldest person in the hardcore Body Attack class I did last week, but I think that made my doubly awesome for being there. That's the attitude you should take in Zumba too.

    No need to eat food you hate to lose weight, just stick to your MFP calories limit and and you'll be fine. But a bit of extra fruit and veg never hurt anyone, right?
  • Pv9926
    Pv9926 Posts: 1
    Being patient with losing weight can somethimes be the hardest part of the process. I'm a student I'm 20 years old and I weigh 80kg, I lost 10kg in a year last year. losing weight slowly is frustrating I know, but in the long run it's better to lose it slowly because it will stay off.

    As far as not being able to look at yourself in the mirror, I don't think that will change no matter how much weight you lose. Rather than feel that your proud of the progress you have made. Look at yourself every day and no matter how hard tell yourself I am beautiful, I do love myself, and love even the chunky parts. In African culture a big woman is considered a beautiful woman!

    I am here to support you!

    I love zumba by the way, and everyone jiggles!

    Your friend
    Pam
  • angiewf
    angiewf Posts: 171 Member
    If you lose weight fast, it often comes back. If you lose it slowly and steadily,it will stay off. You are doing fine! Also, we store a lot of excess fat around our internal organs, so if you don't see it coming off the outside, it's probably coming off the inside, which may not look as good but is a big bonus health-wise.
  • freemystery
    freemystery Posts: 184 Member
    Hey you're not the only person going through this! I don't have a lot to lose, I'm kinda short and the weight is s l o w to budge.

    Add to that that I knew that this month would be difficult and I'd probably gain back as I was on vacation for a week and really busy at work so not likely to have time to exercise much. So I KNEW this beforehand.

    So far I've gained probably less than a pound but I think more than anything it's just a psychological block. I feel huge, wibbly, I don't fit into my favourite jeans. I mean I didn't before but it suddenly feels like a big deal and the problem feels insurmountable. Just recommit to this, tell yourself that even if it's going slowly it's going in the right direction. You're doing something and it's better than nothing.

    You can do it! Hang in there, you're getting it right and you know it, you just don't feel it yet!
  • mazdauk
    mazdauk Posts: 1,380 Member

    I love zumba by the way, and everyone jiggles!

    ^^^ THIS

    What i love bout Zumba is that ist non-judgemental (well, the class I go to is!), you don't feel you have to get your knee up behind your head or do 5000 star jumps to keep up . The instructor tells everyone the best way to do it, but says "as long as you're moving you're burning calories, and as long as you're having fun it doesn't matter if you're in time or on the right leg". That's a pretty good philosophy for life, really!
  • rezn8
    rezn8 Posts: 263 Member
    Always willing to help motivate others. I've logged on MFP for 340 days straight so i'm always here trying to lead by example.