100 pounds down and counting......

Two years ago I graduated with my Master's, but I realized looking at my photos and my own reflection in the mirror, that although I was proud of my accomplishment, I was not proud of the way I looked. Thus started my journey to where I am today. 14 months later and I am 220 pounds. I am about to enter the Navy in one week at the age of 39, and for the most part out preform the 18 year old's physically. I have never felt better and I look forward to what the future holds as I lean down.

I was asked last night, "what did it feel like to be that obese?" I had to ponder that question for a while. Because I think, at least for me, being that over weight, I knew I was a big guy but I did not realize that I had let myself go that far. But I remarked how that there was a time I could not wrap a towel around myself after a shower, and went to my room shortly there after and cried. That then the classic food as my compensation kicked in and I repeated the cycle. However, I remember being out with my friends and seeing those who were super fit and always remarking, "Damn, eat a cookie!" As I did not know then what it required to stay in that shape, how much truly you have to consume to stay healthy. For me, it is between 1 to 2 pounds of chicken per day, let alone protein and veggies.

I am not sure what has inspired me to write this, but one thing I know for certain is that if I did not work hard, that if I did not believe I could do it. I would not be here today. That my father, somewhere near my age had a minor heart attack. I am sure if I stayed the course, I would be on that path.

I look at myself now and I still struggle with my body image, I still worry about when the scale tips even if it is just water weight, and I have my fears. I never want to go back being that person. I never want to take a shower again and look down and just see my stomach. Christ, it is an awesome and empowering feeling to look down and see my feet as well as my, well you know what I mean.

I have been on MFP for over a year, and since being introduced to this site, it has become part of my routine. My fitness religion that I share with everyone, because I want them to believe, to see they do not have to be locked in whatever body they are in. That they are in control just as I am and can make their body into whatever they want it to be with hard work and dedication.

I thank those people who have written blogs here, inspired me, supported me, and helped me along the way so I could keep going when I wanted to quit. You know who you are.

If I can say one thing, just believe in yourself, give yourself the time and never give up. Be the best person you can be and be happy. We only have this one life, make it the best you can!