Please help! Boyfriend so far behind.

You can tell him straight out that as you are losing weight and becoming healthier, you see what is not healthy and being 375 pounds concerns you and you want him around longer.

If you have lost 72 pounds and he is 375, then you must be eating very different things. Try to get him to agree to eat the same things you are for a little bit and see if that works, it will probably make him feel better and healthier with more energy.

I hate to say it, but you alluded to the fact that you feel like you have nothing in common anymore....I doubt that is entirely just because you weigh less. Perhaps weighing less has given you more confidence to do things you didn't before, maybe having more energy is helping to understand what you enjoy better. Honestly, if you are growing apart, it might be time to move on...not to be the "skinny chick who dumped her fat boyfriend", but because you have legitimately different goals and outlooks on life. Even if you got him to eat healthy, in 10 years from now and weight aside, would you be satisfied with someone who just ate healthy and still didn't enjoy the same things as you or have the same outlook on life or wasn't interested in trying to better themselves? My guess is the weight is the easy thing to point the finger at when in reality you have more reasons like incompatible goals or ideas of fun and support that are driving you apart.

This is what I was thinking too.

I do have sympathy for him, because from his point of view, he was happy with the lifestyle you both used to have. Now you've made drastic changes and he doesn't want to. He probably feels that it's your problem, not his, because you were the one who changed what you signed up for. We all know that a healthy lifestyle is good for us, but everyone here also knows that until you're ready to make that change for yourself it's just about impossible to get going, no matter how much your loved ones want you to. He might get there in time, or he might dig his heels in even more because he feels under pressure or feels that you no longer like him the way he is - that's got to hurt. He found someone who accepted the way he was, but then she changed her mind.

I am not in any way blaming you OP - I'm just trying to guess what he might be feeling now. I've seen a lot of people post this situation and it's always hard on both parties because they both have good points. It does sound like this is going to come between you more and more. You've achieved a lot already and sound really committed to improving your life and health, which is awesome. I imagine over time you'll feel more frustrated with his lack of action, annoyed with always eating different meals and miss him being involved in your interests.

I don't know what to suggest, other than a really gentle and non-judgmental conversation. Reassure him that you love him, that you still find him attractive and think he's a great guy. And tell him that now you've learned so much about health and feel so good you're not willing to go back to how things were. Perhaps if you let him know that this isn't a judgement of him as a person and that you're not going to force the issue (but would be there to support any change he wanted to make) he might come round in his own time.

I have lost 72 lbs and I am starting to get energy and wanting to go out and do things. However my boyfriend has no interest in losing weight he is 375 and 6 foot 5. I feel like slowly but surely we dont have many things in common anymore. I love him soooooo much I would never be one of those girls that become skinny and ditch their boyfriend but what do you do when your bettering yourself and your boyfriend just still sits there on the couch watching tv or playing video games. I have tried so many things but nothing works he tells me he never asked me to change so why would I ask him to change. Am I bad person? Has anyone ever had this problem. I just did a 5K with me bestfriend and her husband and I felt bad I am doing this journey alone. He supports me 100% IDK PLEASE HELP!

This was me. While my wife was sounding the alarms, I just said "I'd love you anyway your are you have to do the same" romantic right? Of course I was the obese one... She is within 10lbs of when we met! It took a serious epiphany for me to realize that, to love her means that I would care about what she feels is important. If losing weight is a way to show her how much she means to me.... I can lose twice her goal.

I'm sorry to say, but you should be prepared to leave him. If, your weightloss journey is incompatible with his live style choices, in the end, something is going to give. We know his choices are not sustainable, or healthy... Your new ones are.

Now, getting that acrossed to him should be your goal. Certainly he is in love with you and would do anything for you. If he gets the whiff that he could truly lose you... He will change. I did.

How you do that without the whole argument/ultimatum thing... Idk. Anne and I argued over it for a year. Brutal/tears and shouting. storming out kinda fights. (im stubborn!!)

Finally, one argument... I believed her. I was losing my family. I would not. Will not let that happen.

I'm not relationship doctor.... So take this advice with nutra salt....

But I will say. The fear of losing my family drove me to start this journey. In the long run will it have worked? I think it will!

It's been 3 months. We have not had a argument regarding it since. Love life is starting to come back, intimacy is increasing and things have never been better between us. Seriously, My wife saved my life. I'm down 25lbs and another 60ish to go.

I agree with a lot of the things said here, but also wanted to add that there is really no way for you to make him want to lose weight. He has to make the decision himself. And honestly, pressuring him probably won't help. You've made your feelings known... now it's your choice too accept him as he is or move on. It's sad, but choices like this have to be made sometimes. Best of luck and I hope both of you find happiness!

I don't want to assume anything that you have not willingly shared with us. I also don't want to assume to know what the right advice to give you in your situation without knowing more information. Instead I will share a short portion of my journey that may apply to yours also. I was 300 pounds when I started, and weighed more than my husband by about 30 pounds or more. I also weighed 120 pounds more than I did when we first started dating. When I had my ah ha moment I was horrified by these two truths in my life. Somehow my husband still found me attractive, even though I certainly didn't. Anyway, my husband was overweight but not to the degree that I was. I told him on June 13th 2012 that I was going to change my life for the better, I was going to revamp my activity levels and nutrition/relationship with food. He said, and I quote "Well just because you're getting healthy doesn't mean I have to." Yikes! Oh well, it was my journey for me anyway. So it might not seem like it with that response, but my husband was very supportive of me changing and gave me lots of encouragement along the way. I am a FT SAHM and housewife so I do all the cooking, he eats what I eat. Along the way he has lost about 70-80 pounds and is now in his ideal weight range. He does have a very labor intensive active career, but he almost never does intentional exercise nor does he count calories. He's been successful simply eating a more nutrient dense diet and by me cooking realistic portion sizes for our family. (Side note: This is not an advert for clean eating, we still eat take out, pizza, ice cream, etc., just in moderation now).

Whatever you decide to do in your situation, good luck! Also huge congrats on your achievements!!!

ETA: Husband now thanks me on a VERY regular basis for getting US healthy, lol.

The truth is that we cannot change other people. We all know that it took us deciding that we needed to change before we changed - no amount of people we love telling us we are endangering our health made a bit of difference until we decided for ourselves.

I don't have advice for you - except if you truly love him then stick with him without telling him what to do (I am sure it makes him feel bad every time you bring it up - it would for me if my spouse did that). Either he will decide for himself or not - it simply isn't up to you (but your happiness is and if it isn't forever, then that is a decision you have to make for yourself).

I am looking forward to this problem. I am sure that what I used to accept at 345 will be very different from what I expect and want at 170.

I think that this might be more than just having to do with the weight loss. If you guys don't have anything in common any more, then maybe it's time to move in. If he is not interested in doing the same things that you are, and there is no middle for the two of you, then odds are it wouldn't work in the future.

If it is about the weight:

If he is into video games, then walk around the mall 6 times before he can go into game stop.

If he likes to watch tv and sit on the couch, pop in a yoga DVD and plop yourself in the front of the tv and bend all over the place. I am sure that will help with his motivation to do some physical activity. hehehe.

Just try and find things to do with him that aren't straight out exercise. See where it goes from there.

Also,
There is nothing that says he has to lose weight with you. If you want to go out and hike a mountain, take a friend with you. Take pictures of the romantic view from the top. Then, when you get home, show him what it looks like and tell him that you really wished he was there with you to share the moment.

She is his wife...not his mother. Unless he is interested in changing himself, trying to wag a finger and force him to do things isn't going to end well. (This is in regards to the gamestop thing).

And also, the yoga thing may actually backfire on you depending on what he was watching. That could lead to a big fight and him deciding to make a man cave/separate spaces.

If it is about the weight:

If he is into video games, then walk around the mall 6 times before he can go into game stop.

Sorry but I can't stop laughing. At 375 lbs its not the exercise, it's a serious eating problem.

Walk around the mall lol.