Anyone feel/felt they are/were too far gone to bother?

Bella20102010
Bella20102010 Posts: 32 Member
in Motivation and Support
That's where I'm at. I was the fat girl until my late teens when I got down to 110ish. I weighed 135 - 140 before I got pregnant, when I ballooned close to 190. A week or so after having my son, my total weight gain was 35-40 pounds. I did WW, lost about thirty, stopped doing it, gained back 15ish, and now I'm here. I joined MFP around the first of the year and lost 10 pounds, fell off the wagon, got back on. Repeated that cycle three or four times, and now I'm basically back where I started. I feel like I've let myself go so far that there's no recovering, and I also feel like a really big loser for letting things get this out of hand. I've gone through the cycle so many times, had as more failures than successes, and left to wonder if I should even bother. :frown:

Replies

  • memartinmsw
    memartinmsw Posts: 8
    I can completely relate to how you feel. I have felt that so many times because of all the times I have done great, lost weight, and then fall off again, gained all the weight back. It's gotten to the point where I just can't "see" myself as a thin person. BUT, I did ta few things differently this time....I got very honest with myself and let my doctor weigh me (that was a very bad day) and how I'm on here and logging in every bite I put in my mouth and working on building a support network...and I'm exercising...(the first day back at the gym was the hardest)...it's only been a few weeks but I do feel more hopeful and motivated...so don't give up and think of it more as a lifestyle change than something temporary...Oh, and see Food, Inc...that will help too...:-) Good luck! Michelle
  • turtleleaf80
    turtleleaf80 Posts: 1
    I was the fat girl until my late teens when I got down to 110 or so too. Its always been a yoyo, but since my 1st daughter was born its been worse. Im 32 now. We just moved to a new apt with a bigger mirror and i can now see why that old lady asked me if I was "expecting another" at the fair last yr with my bf, and 2 daughters (3 and 5). My bf is super skinny and can eat anything and lose weight. I feel trapped inside myself, embarrassed to leave the house. I weigh about 210 now, its awful. I need a path, someone to say do this and ill do it. I lack the self motivation. I def understand what you mean.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    Not about weight, but for other things, can relate. Guess what, though. You're alive, and so long as you're alive, you can *always* do something to change your situation. Something. When memories get you down, and you're sick of yourself, I think, the best thing is literally that, a change in *situation*. Go and see something new. Go to another town for a day. See some nature, go for a walk. Physically get out of whatever actual rut you're stuck in. When you're stuck in your surroundings, & memories of failure, you need something to happen to flip a switch.

    People do that for themselves sometimes, often life events do it for them. Do what you can to help it along.

    But absolutely, people can make great changes, even in what seem to be impossible circumstances. There are threads on here by people with lifelong addictions who've done complete 180s. People who've overhauled their bodies completely. Off the top of my head, there's a well known video about a war vet, who used yoga. Here, I've found it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qX9FSZJu448

    It's never too late to reclaim your life. Do something to flip a switch.
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,153 Member
    I was fat my whole life. I was "the fat kid" at my middle school, and it didn't get better as I got older. Just after college, I got fed up with being fat and decided to starve myself. I lost a bunch of weight, but ruined my metabolism, killed my energy levels and ended up giving up. It took me years to fix the damage I did in that six months, and by the time I was done, I had gained back 100 lbs (twice as much as I lost in the first place). At that point, I decided that I was clearly meant to be fat and there was nothing I could do to change it, so why bother? It wasn't until I reached a point where I would no longer be able to shop at normal stores (I was close to sizing out of even the big and tall section) that I really looked at what I was doing to myself. I decided that enough was enough, signed up with a dietician and worked a relearning how to eat. I had to break a lot of bad habits, but it was doable this time because I wasn't trying to find motivation for a diet, I had simply decided. 1.5 years, 90 lbs and 20% body fat later, I'm in the best shape of my life. There's no such thing as the point of no return until they lay you in the dirt. You can make the changes you need, but you have to actually make them. My favorite misappropriated weight loss quote: Do or do not, there is no try.
  • chunkydunk714
    chunkydunk714 Posts: 784 Member
    Totally felt the same way. I had lost all hope and felt as if I was stuck in a hole so deep I couldn't get out. Slowly but surely I'm learning this is not the case.

    We got this ;)
  • tekwriter
    tekwriter Posts: 923 Member
    Well I have often wondered the same thing. I have finally came to the conclusion at my age and with hypothyroidism, I would have been twice my size by the time it was found had I not been constantly trying to diet. that is one of the things that keeps me going now. So if I don't do anything I will get bigger and be more handicapped and die younger. That doesn't sound like such a bargain.
  • LoseItJourney
    LoseItJourney Posts: 122 Member
    This is me everyday.

    I'm 20, and spent the last 2 years trying to lose weight.
    I can tell you I'm the same weight I was 2 years ago.

    I lose motivation quickly, with my low self esteem.
    I'm someone that when I don't see results, I give up fast.

    And I'm an emotional eater.
    And I sabotage myself almost constantly.

    But I know that from now, until forever, I am on this journey and theres no going back!
  • godsgrl33
    godsgrl33 Posts: 307 Member
    IT'S NEVER TOO LATE!!! You are worth it to finish your race. You have two beautiful children who love you no matter what, but you want to be around for a long time for them. Most of all, you need to love yourself enough to think that you are worth it.
  • Aliviuum
    Aliviuum Posts: 67
    I just want to say that YOU ARE WORTH IT. You CAN do this and you WILL reach your goals. Don't ever give up on yourself!
  • btini23
    btini23 Posts: 2
    I know it feels like a huge challenge that will take forever to show any kind of results only after having to make huge sacrifices but its going to be so worth it. I had honest real talk with myself that this is not ok and not getting any better that my weight was making me feel like less of a person and was holding me back from life. I was giving power to my weight and letting it control my life. Once I had that serious tearful talk with myself I decided not to let anything, may it be fear, time or lack of motivation stop me this time because I was stronger than all those things. It's definitely a mind over matter thing and once you put your mind to it and really decide to do it this time you will. You'll have your good day and your bad but just keep with it have a bad day but don't let it stop you. Continue on with a good day tomorrow and don't beat yourself up over it.

    I read something today that I really like it was a quote that said,

    "Today you are the oldest and wisest you have ever been and the youngest your ever going to be again... go live today"

    Make your today count move now while you can because one day time will catch up to us and moving about exercising and daily activities will be so challenging even if we want to do them. Don't waste your mobility now!

    I know you can do this, your so much stronger than you think! Good luck! God Bless! -B
  • Bella20102010
    Bella20102010 Posts: 32 Member
    Thank you all for the support and motivation. I sincerely appreciate it. :smile:
  • KatieDean89
    KatieDean89 Posts: 2
    I know how you feel! I have struggled my whole life! And it is so discouraging when you see you only lost 1 pound and you worked hard all week! I would loose some and quit and gain some back and then some and now I am trying my hardest to keep going but after only loosing 6 pounds in 3 months after you lost 30 within the first 3 months its discouraging! But We gotta keep our heads up keep trying and never give up!
  • CherylP67
    CherylP67 Posts: 772 Member
    You are never too far gone! There are people on here who have lost over 300 pounds. Your too far gone looks like amazing to me, I haven't weighed less than 150 in at least 20 years.

    I was just talking to my daughter about something that happened that she perceived as not fair. I told her that you don't get what you think you deserve in life, you get what you work for. I told her she needs to just "do her" and be the best her she can be and not to compare herself to others and her perceptions of them.

    You are worth it, you live with you 24/7, never give up on yourself.
  • Stump_Likker
    Stump_Likker Posts: 2,059 Member
    Nope. And do you know why? Because I want to be healthy. I am the second youngest out of nine children. They are ALL on medication for various things : blood pressure, choleestrol, depression, you name it. They are overweight and have joint problems. My mother has been obese my whole life.

    I started earlier this year when I was in the ER and they told me that I had an enlaged heart. Although it turned out to be nothing it scared me enough to make me finally do something. In March I joined a gym and started working. I get no encouragement from my family and actually they seem jealous. Oh well.

    I am 44 years old and I am in the best shape of my life. I'm happy and healthy. I take no medication and a pain that I had in my hip for 2 years is now gone.

    You've never gone to far to come back. But you have to want to do it. Good luck.

    P.S. Oh yeah, I just wore a two-piece bikini for the first time in my life! :)
  • alfiedn
    alfiedn Posts: 425 Member
    Start with a small step for yourself. Perhaps not weight-loss related, but health related. I don't know what your life is like exactly, but what if it's something like "let's try substituting healthier desserts for my family twice this week," or "I will work out for half an hour this week." Something that seems attainable and something that is something you can do right now. Losing 5 pounds. That can take a while depending on who you are and how much you have to lose (for me 5 pounds can take a REALLY long time).

    For me, it's easier to focus on my fitness, since that's my main concern. Healthy eating is another thing I strive for. I absolutely do not attain these goals every day of my life or every week of my life! But I am working towards it and start each day new and fresh with endless possibility.

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