Overcoming the habits

I thought I would take a few moments to post my first set of thoughts. Just started this program and have reached a point in my life where it is time for change. This came when I woke up and realized that for the past five years of my life I have been tromping to the gym ritually every day, 6 sometimes 7 days a week. The reality is, for the past few years, I have been really only exercising my eyes and not my physical being. Yes, there are many beautiful people at the gym. People I find myself saying, "why can't I look like him." I then find myself making excuses. "Well he must work out 8 hours a day, I just don't have that kind of time." I am proud of my 20-30 mins of exercise time and 45-60 minutes of locker room time wishing I could be like all these guys that are 6'0", 190, 46 chests, 28" wastes, 18" arms, you get where I am going. You probably have felt the same way too?

So one day, a few weeks ago, I found myself getting dressed and I couldn't bend over to tie my shoes without turning red and getting short of breath. I had to lift my foot up and put it on the bench just to tie my shoes. Then it hit me, you are 40 years old. 5'8" and you weigh 222 pounds. You are not happy with your life and you use food to make you happy. Then you look in the mirror and you hate yourself because you don't look like these amazing people who seem to be able to work out for 45 minutes and then go eat pizza with no harm whereas you gain 5 pounds just looking at that pepperoni supreme.

Jamie, what are you doing with your life?

So this was the ephinay in my life that I finally said, enough is enough. And now in a few weeks, I am down to 209. A weight I haven't been in over 10 years. My goal is 185. According to my BMI index, I should be 165 but hey, if I hit 185, and I will, I'll keep going.

So what has changed? How have I lost 13 pounds in a few short weeks? It's a concept I call "kill the habit."

Yes, I have changed my died. I am on a new one. Oh yeah, we have all been there. How many different "lose 30 pounds in a week" diets have we tried to end feeling defeated, low on energy, and depressed, and in some cases, actually heavier than when we started.

So I am on a new one. It is actually working, and the food tastes amazing. But it isn't anything special. It isn't about "starving yourself" or trying to sustain yourself on low calorie diets. It is about eating the right foods and guess what, I am eating more than ever before and losing weight.

I have more energy. Today I weighed in and tears filled my eyes as I realized I finally got myself below 210. As I said, I haven't weight less than that since college. In high school as a freshman, I weighed 169 which they say you should weigh, at 40, what you weighed in high school.

But let's put all that behind us. Let's not focus on the weight. Let's focus on our souls. It takes a lot of soul searching to make these changes and to make the decision to be better. You are here because you are fed up with where you are at this point in your life.

I could hug you. Because I know you have cried yourselves to sleep wishing you weren't overweight. You have felt like a failure. Diet after diet after diet. Pills that promise results, starving yourself, or perhaps worse, eating and trying other ways to eliminate those calories you took in by self evacuation. Think you know where I am going if this applies to you.

But guess what, I have come to the realization that what it takes to move forward and reach that goal of a better you, is overcoming the habits.

This never became more real for me than last night. I found myself in a hotel in DC and heading to the drugstore like I usually do when I am on the road to stock up on soda, chips, snacks because when I am bored, I eat. This time however, I walked in, only intending to buy a Powerade Zero because I was thirsty. But out of habit, I found myself grabbing the PF Mint Milano cookies, cheetos, and fig newtons. My favorite "rewards" when I am forced to be working on the road. The things I eat when I am bored and the things that provide me security and comfort. "Seriously Jamie, you use junk for security and comfort, now that is just sad." And I said, "hey, I deserve a reward," "I have been working hard," so I proceeded to the register with complete and full determination to buy that junk then a voice inside said, "think of how you will feel tomorrow." "You have tasted victory in losing a few pounds, you have many more to go." "Do you really want to throw it away for a few minutes of self-gratification?" So to the surprise of the clerk as I approached the counter with a handful of crap and a "diet" drink, I put it all down and put one bottle of Powerade Zero on the counter instead. A surge of joy flowed through me. I had felt victory and defeated the "Snack Beast."

Yeah, this guy gives you a few minutes of "yumm, this tastes great." then takes it away with feelings of, "you fat failure" that follow. But not tonight. Tonight Jamie won. Jamie beat the "Snack Beast."

To overcome brings such a surge of happiness. A feeling that outlasts the few minutes eating that crap would have given me.

I could feel my eyes welling with tears as I walked out and guzzled down my Powerade Zero.

You can overcome those habits. And that is all they are. Eating bad, is a habit. People quit smoking. They quit alcohol. They quit drugs. While we rationalize that eating is no where near those habits on the scale of harm, it really is. It is just as fatal. It causes heartache in relationships, at least it did in mine. I have heard, "why are you eating that," so many times in the 12 years I have been with my partner, and felt the sunken feeling within of failure and disappointment.

So as it is with any habit, simply saying "no" is all it takes.

I have been rambling, so I'll wrap it up soon. My point is, it isn't about starving yourself. It is about calculating what your body needs from a daily calorie perspective to lose and you will get results. And for most people, it is about keeping it below 1500 calories a day. Surprisingly, that is a lot of food if you are eating the right foods. For example, for the average person, 20-25 lbs overweight, limiting yourself to 1500 calories a day is the equivalent of the following (each line is about 1500 calories, not all lines total:

- (6), yeah, 6 4-5oz boneless, skinless chicken breasts.
- (5) pieces of salmon, 4-5 oz
- (34) cups of green beans

This is just a couple examples, when you break it down like that, you can see, that's a lot of food. And if you get on a decent, reputable plan, I am using BistroMD, the food is amazing, and it is controlling my calorie intake to 1500. That is 3 meals a day, 3-4 snacks a day. Eating every 2 hours, smaller, healthier portions, I am always full, and I am always keeping my calories at bay.

If I cheat an eat a candy bar, I punish myself with one hour on the treadmill which is what that equates to. Trust me, I haven't been spending much time on the treadmill lately other than my daily routine. But not cardio-punishment in awhile. Sad it takes me 30 seconds to eat that candy bar, but 60 minutes of intense cardio (10 min mile) to burn it off.

OK, I have babbled. I have enjoyed sharing this with you and I hope my words inspire some of you who may feel like their struggling or still not getting the results they want. You can do it. I have proven it to myself. All the years I said, "they were born beautiful." or, "I can never be that thin," were me lying to myself and justifying my unhappy state of being for some degree of self-gratifaction.

Be strong and move forward. Kill the "Snack Beast" and overcome those habits. You can and will get to where you want to be. Reach within and pull it out of that heart of yours. It is there. I promise.

Onward and upward, forward we go,

Jamie