a revelation

so ive been 15-35 lbs from my weight goal for years (usually around 25). i have always worked out hard (especially since i started my lifting program in April), but my eating habits have been up and down throughout the years (mostly good, but struggled with some binge habits on and off). i know im not fat, but im definitely not where i want to be. working on it- and getting better...

today at the gym I was watching a girl who had a similar body to me. strong, curvy, a little thick but still looked good. She was kicking *kitten* doing some hard workouts (and giving me some good ideas)- and i found myself admiring her athletic abilities and form, and thought she looked good, despite the fact that her friend next to her was likely 40 lbs less- but didnt have the same strong build. on top of that, a group of guys were watching her work out, with admiration in their eyes- which is what I've happily experienced lately while doing New Rules of Lifting for Women (both men and women have complimented my hard workouts, asking questions about certain moves, or telling me how impressed they are with my strength)

for years i have been jealous of my thinner friends, because i work out so much harder and eat well the majority of the time (despite my struggles). While im still envious and Id like to be smaller, i was happy that today I was more impressed/motivated by the strong girl as opposed to her thinner friend.