feeling super alone...
aldaroya
Posts: 55 Member
I started working on myself. my boyfriend felt i would leave him if i got thin. I guess he beat me to the punch so three years of our lives done. Why???because i just wanted to be a healthy ,active ,pretty person,mother ,girlfriend i just wanted to give the best of me to all the people I love...I dont drink much or eat out anymore sooooo I have no friends well that I see anyway
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Replies
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Change can be a scary thing. While I'm a bit disappointed that your boyfriend dumped you for you trying to get fit, I'm glad you are trying to get yourself healthy. Perhaps a bit of time away from each other is a blessing in disguise. Maybe being away from you will make him realize how much you were in his life, and how much he ultimately needs you.
I don't have a lot of off-the-internet friends either, but I have lots of people on the net that have my back! It would be nice to have friends in person, but hey, I'll take whatever friends I can get.
I just joined this website tonight, and by the looks of it, everyone is very nice and supportive. Doesn't look like you'd have any problem making friends on here.
Feel free to add me if you like and I wish you all the best in your weight loss journey!0 -
I'm sorry you're going through this, but he clearly didn't deserve you. I wish I had some advice to make everything better but all I've got is keep working on you. Do it for yourself.0
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I think it's a great thing you did there, to change for the better to lead a better lifestyle. Don't feel bad, you should be feeling proud of yourself for what you have managed to accomplish. I'd give anything to turn my life around, get fit, and have enough dedication in me. Too bad that I feel like I'm out of energy, don't know where to begin or how to keep going. Add me if u want
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I'm sorry you're going through this, but he clearly didn't deserve you. I wish I had some advice to make everything better but all I've got is keep working on you. Do it for yourself.
Indeed, well-said. You have to keep working on yourself and not let yourself slip away because that was my biggest mistake...after my break-up I let myself go to waste and not a day goes by that I wish I could've done things differently for myself. I kept making bad decisions, eating like hell, and gaining 20 lbs in five months
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Thank you so much for taking the time to respond it means alot . I just thought bettering myself would bring me closer to the ppl in my life but i couldnt have been more wrong its so weird like being punished for doing good. I guess the positve is I now know who is really there and cares and who dosent.0
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I'm also feeling super alone lately (just broke up with my boyfriend and best friend). In a way, it's better you're not with him anymore, you don't need that negativity in your life. Now you're going to be super fit and hot and find yourself a better man.0
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Well, that's freaking kind of him. The moment you work on getting better self-esteem, he drops you. Nice. Three years wasted by intelligent, beautiful, and smart you. Get that body and confidence you have and go attract someone who appreciates your self-love.0
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Ohhhh Sweetie - you are going to have the best revenge when one day, he sees you walking down the street looking extremely super-hot and fit. The fact that you're already gorgeous obviously escapes him - you deserve so much more. I wish you great success!0
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I can totally understand the wanting to be healthier and more active, we all want that. But the "wanting to be pretty"? From what I see on your avatar you're gorgeous! You have that in the bag already doll face! Remember that losing the weight isn't just about the physical, it's mental too. It's wonderful to lose the weight and be physically healthy, but it won't do a whole lot of good if we're not mentally healthy (as like many, I don't see the beauty that is me). Congratulations on starting this journey! And as it was said before, do it for yourself. You're stronger than you think! Feel free to add me.0
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bettering yourself is first and foremost for YOU. and you deserve this - you are a beautiful strong woman and you don't need garbage bringing you down and keeping you back.Thank you so much for taking the time to respond it means alot . I just thought bettering myself would bring me closer to the ppl in my life but i couldnt have been more wrong its so weird like being punished for doing good. I guess the positve is I now know who is really there and cares and who dosent.
sorry that your ex is a *kitten* and I know how painful this is, and i know you can't believe me NOW, but i promise you that someday you will look back and know that this was a good thing.
as for your other friends? sometimes we outgrow people. sometimes we change and they don't and we can still be friends. sometimes we find new friends. all part of growing up. heck, i'm in my fifties and still make new friends.0 -
Thank you too. I have lost 41 pounds since april. 8lbs of it on mfp. Life changing choices are friggin hard! breakups suck! Raising two boys on my own crazy hard and heart breaking I never thought I would be a fat ,sad ,single mother...or be crying to strangers about it lol dont worry ladies,I am a bada** determined single mama who can do anything sometimes i just need to cry and hear that someone else in this world thinks i can do it too.0
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Him leaving you really had nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. Dont ever regardless of size, health, etc allow anyone to make you feel you were not good enough. Focus on your boys and you. Sweet revenge of a good life is always the best way to be.0
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Him leaving you really had nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. Dont ever regardless of size, health, etc allow anyone to make you feel you were not good enough. Focus on your boys and you. Sweet revenge of a good life is always the best way to be.
Ya!!!0 -
You might feel lonely because your ex did not support your desire to be healthy at this time, but it sounds like you have many people you love that will be happy and love you more for thinking enough to do for yourself so that you can be there for them. Your ex was selfish for wanting you to remain in an unhealthy state because other men will find you more attractive. You were doing this for you as we'll as him so that you would be the best possible shape and live a long, healthy life.if it was meant to be, he will be back. And if not, you will be fine without him. Always depend on you, never a man. I told my husband of 37 years when we got married that I married him because I wanted to live my life with him. I also told him that I can LIVE without him, however, if he should ever do anything that I perceive as a betrayal. Let your man know that you choose to live with them, not that you depend and NEED them and do it. Be self sufficient and take care of you and your family. Good luck in your endeavors!0
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Sometimes I feel the same way. Like I don't know what to do with my friends other than go out to eat and when I eat healthy they are like live a little or what is one bad meal. I try to tell people for me at 245 pounds currently I didn't get here but one bad meals but really bad chooices over a long time and I can't get back there. So what I have found it nice is to ask people if they would like to go for a walk, swim or even the gym with me. Also shopping or getting our nails done. It is very hard. And as far as your man goes I am so sorry to hear that I am currently single and have been the 6 months I have been living more healthy so I can't comment a lot. But sometimes even my plus size friends are like you aren't the same anymore. I liked you at my size and it's just really hurts because I have tired so hard and it when they say like the un-healthier me it is kind like what the heck? But what I think is people aren't okay with themselves a lot of time so they try to make you feel bad that are doing the right thing so they feel better about themselves. I say just try to keep doing what are doing to be there here and healthy for your kids. Sending my love, my heart goes out to you! 0
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Thank you too. I have lost 41 pounds since april. 8lbs of it on mfp. Life changing choices are friggin hard! breakups suck! Raising two boys on my own crazy hard and heart breaking I never thought I would be a fat ,sad ,single mother...or be crying to strangers about it lol dont worry ladies,I am a bada** determined single mama who can do anything sometimes i just need to cry and hear that someone else in this world thinks i can do it too.
^ You are amazing. A rock star. Single mom too? This man clearly wasn't ready for someone with that much moxie. Congrats on your weight loss. You've lost 41 lbs and won't have to spend another day with someone who clearly didn't treasure you like he should. Look at everything you've already accomplished. If you really step back for a second you may realize you're stronger than you give yourself credit for. 0 -
if you need advice on fitness i will help you if you want 0
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Wow this is the most ppl i have talked to in months and positive too thanks to all of you0
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Darling, don't sweat it! One day when you're superfit and toned he'll be jealous and you'll be able to say: ''In your face''! He's not supportive and you don't need that especially when you're trying to make a healthy change that will benefit you in every way.
I've been in sports my whole life, my boyfriend too, but I remember when he busted his knee open playing football (or soccer if you like) I went through the whole physiotheraphy with him and that's actually when we started working out together. That's the kind of support you need. So don't sweat it: he's insecure and you're better off without him!0 -
You are already very pretty, wait till the loser sees you when you lose more weight. I think he has low self-esteem and is worried you'll leave him when you drop more weight. You'll find a good guy easily, don't worry.0
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wow! thats just awful! but if he really loves you he would be there supporting and helping you feel happy about yourself! i dont really have friends around to talk to about how i am doing but my husband is brilliant. i know how lucky i am! you can do this without him! the people on here are so friendly and supportive! i already seem to be gaining a lovely bunch of really supportive friends here!0
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He Sounds insecure to me. Which could of been hell down the line. The where have you been, calling you a hundred times when your with friends, getting jealous of men who don't even exist. It sucks but it was probably for the best. Your young its hard to know that the future brings, but I seem enough of these to know he needs to grow some before he is worth it. the good thing is you don't have to baby sit him until he does. Your doing this for good reasons to be healthier, so keep it up, gain new friends, and work on you. I hope that help atleast alittle0
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If you are looking for friends and support you have come to the right place. MFP is full of great people who will stick with you thorugh thick and thin.
So PROUD of you. You are such a strong person. Bring up kids isnt easy trust me I know. Time to look to the future.
Go You!!0 -
I am sorry to hear what you have gone through. But, as previous folk have mentioned - you clearly deserve better. I am happy to support you Feel free to add me. 0
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if thats all it took..then he didnt deserve you in the first place.. congratz on your current losses..the weight and the well... he was extra weight as well..lol.. healthy diet and exercise will have a change on your mood, atittude, and the way you feel for the better. personally i would suggest find a good martial arts school... great exercise, great sport, and great for self defense. not to mention ranking up through what ever martial arts you choose will continue you to give you positive feed back.0
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I can kind of relate, in so much that I split up with my girlfriend a couple of weeks ago (only been took together 1year). I lost 5stone and ever since she has been insecure and constantly saying how I could do much better, find fitter girls etc etc and in the end it got too much amongst other things and I felt it was time to go.
It had been me and her for a year so I had lost touch with a lot of my friends and due to lack of transport this made it even more difficult. Since then I have found myself bored, alone and even though I'm making the effort I'm not really getting anywhere.
However, with all that said things will get better and you will be stronger for this. Chin up and keep on rocking on.0 -
Ms. aldaroya, you have taken the first steps in changing your life for the better...
I would say that as long as you can reach out, you are never alone...0 -
Change can be a scary thing. While I'm a bit disappointed that your boyfriend dumped you for you trying to get fit, I'm glad you are trying to get yourself healthy. Perhaps a bit of time away from each other is a blessing in disguise. Maybe being away from you will make him realize how much you were in his life, and how much he ultimately needs you.
I don't have a lot of off-the-internet friends either, but I have lots of people on the net that have my back! It would be nice to have friends in person, but hey, I'll take whatever friends I can get.
I just joined this website tonight, and by the looks of it, everyone is very nice and supportive. Doesn't look like you'd have any problem making friends on here.
Feel free to add me if you like and I wish you all the best in your weight loss journey!
Welcome to MFP 0 -
Anyone who dumps another Person and uses the reasoning of weight loss or weight gain for that matter, is not worth it in the Long run. Do what you Need to do for yourself, and that is all that matters. You will find someone who accepts you for YOU and not the size you are. You go Girl!!!!!!!!!0
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I started working on myself. my boyfriend felt i would leave him if i got thin. I guess he beat me to the punch so three years of our lives done. Why???because i just wanted to be a healthy ,active ,pretty person,mother ,girlfriend i just wanted to give the best of me to all the people I love...I dont drink much or eat out anymore sooooo I have no friends well that I see anyway
#1 - You did not waste three years of your life. Boyfriends come and go, when you find the right person for you, you will know and it will be forever. I am sure you had good times during this relationship and those are what you need to remember as you move on through life.
#2 - If he was willing to give up on your relationship because you wanted to get into shape for yourself (the best reason there is) then it certainly s not you with the problem, it is him. He obviously suffered from an inferiority complex of some kind and I would think he was simply trying to hold you back to his standard and you are obviously better than that. No person who truly loves you would ever hold you back from success.
#3 - You have already achieved one of your goals because you are a beautiful lady already, welcome to the journey to become the other goals you have of being in shape and healthy.
#4 - As far as being a good girlfriend and mother?? You probably already are a good mother from the way it sounds, one day you will meet a man who deserves you and will stand behind you when you seek self improvement. Never allow anyone to hold you back to feel you don't deserve a better life.0
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