Afraid for my relative.

Agreed. Sometimes trying to approach someone about their weight makes them even more defensive. They start to rationalize what they are doing, or they become depressed, and it tends to make the problem worse. Just try to be a good example - maybe invite them out to eat, or offer to hang out with them doing a fun, workout activity (ie, hour long bike ride, game of basketball, etc).

You can't fix others but you can be a good example.

just because you perceive a problem doesn't mean there isn't one.....you have to remember you are outside looking in

and people have to change because they want to as the previous posters said.

One of my relatives eats what I consider not a very good diet ( greasy food in the morning and night, to many sweets ) I am worried even though they have no known health problems and are only slightly overweight that if they keep eating like this a health problem will develop. My relative does Bicycle everyday but it's only for a total of 20 minutes, they also lay down right after they eat even greasy meals, I really don't know how they don't get heartburn! Give me some tips and advice please on how to help this person, they are very closed off to advice and if you try to suggest things to them they get very defensive.

As long as they see their doc and get an annual physical checking diabetes and cholesterol, they are going to presume they are fine and they may very well be. If they don't want to change, they won't. I see heart attack patients who have open-heart surgeries or lose limbs from diabetes and still do whatever they want. They have a choice and it is not yours to make.

best thing you can do is be the example... try to really be healthy around then and energetic and everything and then take any oportunity to mention how much better you feel because of your lifestyle.

Are you a doctor? If not and have not completed a physical on him...you know little about his body.


If you're concerned, talk. No one will change anything they dont want to.

I understand how you feel. I'm worried for my stepfather. He's obese, diabetic (sugar's often over 400), and has COPD. While I'm just starting my weight loss journey, I'm just doing my best to be a good example. When I can, I cook for him and my mom to introduce him to healthy, delicious meals. In fact, he'll ask me to make my grilled turkey burgers. He says he wants to change, and I'll I can do is to be there for him as a support.

No matter the amount of advice you try to give someone, if they don't want it, they aren't going to listen. I know it sucks. I quit smoking over two months ago and have tried to get my girl to do the same. She doesn't want to quit and there is nothing I can do about it. Trust me, I have tried. As much as it sucks and as hard as it is to sit by and watch, until they want to change, they won't.

Mind your own business. I say that in the most kind, caring way possible, but it really isn't your business. They have to want to change themselves and nothing you say is going to make a difference, except to offend them, unless they come to you and ask for advice.

Thank You for the help everyone! I love this person regardless of what they look like or eat, I don't want to make them do anything, I'm just concerned and I think I'll just try to be a good example, offer good food when I'm around and ask if they want to go workout with me.

It might be a good idea to invite them to some physical activity that's not as formal as 'work out' -- like going to the park, something -- it's a lot less intimidating.

Give me some tips and advice please on how to help this person, they are very closed off to advice and if you try to suggest things to them they get very defensive.

Don't be THAT guy. Just because you're trying to get in shape and live a healthy lifestyle, doesn't mean your relative want's to, and he likely doesn't even want to hear about it. You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. The best thing you can do is to keep working on yourself, don't force your views down their throat and maybe someday they'll get to thinking, hey, maybe I should make a change. Until that horse decides to take a drink, there's nothing you need to, or SHOULD do.

Rigger

Be WHAT guy? I think you're being harsh.
I haven't spoken to this person at all about it, it is natural to be concerned for relatives and family members and want to help them. If I was forcing my ideas down their throat then I would't be asking people for ideas of how I could help before attempting.
According to your horse metaphor it includes leading the horse to water so that's what this is, I don't want to make them do anything I just want to help, don't be so rude.

He's not being rude. They're saying don't be that guy that is into health and fitness and pushes it on people regardless of wether or not they want to hear it (or their children, or their new boat, <insert topic here>). He's not sainy you have or will be, just don't be that person, and you can be that person even when you think you're not. I've tried talking to my parents about eating less snacks, or at least more healthy snacks, but it just comes off preachy no matter how I try it, and you can't convince him that his snack is not unhealthy (which it's not, it's the other 3 he has too...)
As far as his metaphor goes, you can lead your relative to the domain of healthy living, but you can't make them want it, or do it. In actuality, the more you might try, the more you might force them away.
As far as tips, the recipe idea is good, so is inviting them to the gym, out on a walk, etc.