That's Rude!

lmvince
lmvince Posts: 54 Member
edited September 21 in Motivation and Support
Although we are all on this site together, motivating each other to go further with their weight loss.....I think it's rude to recommend this site or ANY weight loss program to people without them informing you that they want to lose weight.

A co-worker came up to me and informed me that there was a Weight Watchers program at our job.

I consider myself to be overweight, but I'm not a candidate for gastric bypass, and I don't beat myself up for not being a size 2 (or even an 8). Sooo....Excuse me?! I'll decide when and how I want to lose weight...not you.

So think about it before you forward an article to a friend letting them know how easily they can loose weight, or how much they would love this site. I know that we are all excited about our weight loss, but it could be very offensive to someone else if not presented correctly.

Replies

  • DeeDeeLHF
    DeeDeeLHF Posts: 2,301 Member
    That is rude! Actually, I am the opposite. I tend to dumb down my accomplishment with others. Unless they are seriously interested and then I always talk from and I/me perspective. "I found this website helpful", not "you would find this website helpful."

    You cannot entice another person to lose weight by pointing out their weakness. Let them be drawn to you by your success.

    D
  • Kevster75
    Kevster75 Posts: 106
    You have a point, but that could be the same for anything... perhaps your coworker thought he was being helpful passing on the news, so you would potentially pass it on too..

    Alot of things, like this site, aren't focussed purely on weight loss..

    Whilst I understand where you're coming from, I'd say lighten up, and don't take things to heart :smile:
  • cardswimmom
    cardswimmom Posts: 71
    I agree...terribly rude. I would never have the nerve to say something like that to anyone, I only offer info when asked. Don't let other people's ignorance ruin your day, great job so far!:flowerforyou:
  • sexylonglegs
    sexylonglegs Posts: 278
    Wow ~ that is super rude.

    It's like saying "you're fat, you should lose weight" in a round about way. :indifferent:
  • Kevster75
    Kevster75 Posts: 106
    I guess it's all in the delivery...

    You can be factual about weight, or opinionated..
    There's far too many people that won't accept they have a weight issue... and it's someone else pointing that out that makes it rude and offensive.

    People will and do pick up on other people's physical differences...sometimes it's curiousity, other times it's advisory and other times it's malicious.... It's also something I've lived with all my life..

    You won't change society, so it's better to accept it, in my opinion. Why let someone else's tongue ruin your mood?!
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Although we are all on this site together, motivating each other to go further with their weight loss.....I think it's rude to recommend this site or ANY weight loss program to people without them informing you that they want to lose weight.

    A co-worker came up to me and informed me that there was a Weight Watchers program at our job.

    I consider myself to be overweight, but I'm not a candidate for gastric bypass, and I don't beat myself up for not being a size 2 (or even an 8). Sooo....Excuse me?! I'll decide when and how I want to lose weight...not you.

    So think about it before you forward an article to a friend letting them know how easily they can loose weight, or how much they would love this site. I know that we are all excited about our weight loss, but it could be very offensive to someone else if not presented correctly.

    WW at Work will only come into your workplace if you have a certain number of participants. My guess is, she was trying to get enough people to join.

    A coworker here sent out a mass e-mail about our Ww at Work program just to let everyone know it was an option. Not because she thought we were all fat.

    I think you might be a little sensitive about it and she probably didn't mean anything.
  • waguchan
    waguchan Posts: 450 Member
    Wow... Some people just don't think before they speak. What on earth do you say in response to something like that without being rude back, like "There is a great weight loss surgeon down at the hospital nearby, in case you are interested." or "Really? Thanks. There is a great barber on the 2nd floor that will trim your nose hair."

    Don't let it get to you. I have lost 75 pounds slowly over the past 2 years and am close to my goal. I have people doing a double take lately, saying, "Have you been losing weight?" Like... HELLO! You are just noticing now??
  • sarahsmom1
    sarahsmom1 Posts: 1,501 Member
    Although we are all on this site together, motivating each other to go further with their weight loss.....I think it's rude to recommend this site or ANY weight loss program to people without them informing you that they want to lose weight.

    A co-worker came up to me and informed me that there was a Weight Watchers program at our job.

    I consider myself to be overweight, but I'm not a candidate for gastric bypass, and I don't beat myself up for not being a size 2 (or even an 8). Sooo....Excuse me?! I'll decide when and how I want to lose weight...not you.

    So think about it before you forward an article to a friend letting them know how easily they can loose weight, or how much they would love this site. I know that we are all excited about our weight loss, but it could be very offensive to someone else if not presented correctly.

    I think I would tell her that there is also a class for better communication skills.
  • FabiolaEnvy♥
    FabiolaEnvy♥ Posts: 730
    yeah ill have to say that is somewhat rude.

    and ill have to agree, with ya. its like someone coming up to me and say you are fat.
    buuuut, if your friend had said it in a different way. like hey, im passing this out. for people who might wanna lose weight, then sure i wouldnt be like oh hellll no you didnt just call me fat. :laugh:

    but all in all. people dont know what to say half the time, and or they dont know what to say that doesnt sound offensive.
    again we are human. just living and making it through life.
  • FabiolaEnvy♥
    FabiolaEnvy♥ Posts: 730
    You won't change society, so it's better to accept it, in my opinion. Why let someone else's tongue ruin your mood?!

    got prop for that. we are in control of our mood. so, you dont want to let that mood to be bad. be cheerful and be happy :) that what people like to see.
  • BeautifulScarsWECHANGED
    BeautifulScarsWECHANGED Posts: 749 Member
    That is rude! Actually, I am the opposite. I tend to dumb down my accomplishment with others. Unless they are seriously interested and then I always talk from and I/me perspective. "I found this website helpful", not "you would find this website helpful."

    You cannot entice another person to lose weight by pointing out their weakness. Let them be drawn to you by your success.

    D

    That's exactly how I approach it. If somebody mentions they're trying to lose weight, I mention this site. Otherwise, I downplay everything too. I've been there and don't wany anybody else to feel the way I did.
  • FabiolaEnvy♥
    FabiolaEnvy♥ Posts: 730
    I think I would tell her that there is also a class for better communication skills.

    i wouldnt say that. i think its better to just let it go. or go buy a book and be like i thought about you and i wanted you to have this.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
    Yeah don't let it get to you. Some people speak before they think. That happened to me except it was family. :indifferent:

    When you lose your weight your co-worker will be begging you for information!!!! :laugh:

    Lana
  • Andre_Demers
    Andre_Demers Posts: 59
    Yes I do agree but I remember a freind 6 years ago that I should have talked to about wieght loss and more exercise. He was the same age has me and the next day he was dead of a heart attack. It is rude to say to someone that he is fat but a good friend has to say something if she/he does not want to arrive the next day without her/his friend there. :)
  • godblessourhome
    godblessourhome Posts: 3,892 Member
    I guess it's all in the delivery...

    You can be factual about weight, or opinionated..
    There's far too many people that won't accept they have a weight issue... and it's someone else pointing that out that makes it rude and offensive.

    People will and do pick up on other people's physical differences...sometimes it's curiousity, other times it's advisory and other times it's malicious.... It's also something I've lived with all my life..

    You won't change society, so it's better to accept it, in my opinion. Why let someone else's tongue ruin your mood?!

    i agree with this.
    WW at Work will only come into your workplace if you have a certain number of participants. My guess is, she was trying to get enough people to join.

    A coworker here sent out a mass e-mail about our Ww at Work program just to let everyone know it was an option. Not because she thought we were all fat.

    I think you might be a little sensitive about it and she probably didn't mean anything.

    and this.
  • chelekaz
    chelekaz Posts: 847 Member
    I have mixed feelings on this. Is this co-worker what we would call a work friend? Do they know that you are trying to lose weight? If so, then I am sure that it was a helpful suggestion. I was talking to a person that I had just met at Zumba the other night and she told me that she goes to WW on Wednesday nights and asked if I would be interested in joining and buddy'ing up with her.

    However, if this is a co-worker that you do not have friendly dealings with and is not privy to your wanting to lose weight I can understand how you might feel.

    My personal feelings though are that they were trying to be informative and not mean spirited.
  • lmvince
    lmvince Posts: 54 Member
    I was not being sensitive about it because the line that followed her statement was..."You should..." and the conversation was abruptly ended because she knew she had already crossed the line.

    This co-worker made this comment before I started losing weight, and is not one that I consider a friend.
  • lmvince
    lmvince Posts: 54 Member
    Wow... Some people just don't think before they speak. What on earth do you say in response to something like that without being rude back, like "There is a great weight loss surgeon down at the hospital nearby, in case you are interested." or "Really? Thanks. There is a great barber on the 2nd floor that will trim your nose hair."

    Don't let it get to you. I have lost 75 pounds slowly over the past 2 years and am close to my goal. I have people doing a double take lately, saying, "Have you been losing weight?" Like... HELLO! You are just noticing now??


    LOL! That's funny!
  • Kevster75
    Kevster75 Posts: 106
    I was not being sensitive about it because the line that followed her statement was..."You should..." and the conversation was abruptly ended because she knew she had already crossed the line.

    Shrug it off - there's loads of people that are too quick to tell others what they should or shouldn't be doing...

    Bottom line is you already are.... so good for you! :)
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    I was not being sensitive about it because the line that followed her statement was..."You should..." and the conversation was abruptly ended because she knew she had already crossed the line.

    This co-worker made this comment before I started losing weight, and is not one that I consider a friend.

    Well, if she has a history of it, then she's a jerk. But it's best to just brush it off. Venting here is much better than a confrontation at work, right? :smile:
  • KellyBurton1
    KellyBurton1 Posts: 529 Member
    The only time I recommend this site is when people tell me that there trying to lose weight , or they ask me how I do it and I just says I count my calories and I use a very great web site. Other than that I dont send out any requests to any of my friends. The thing is ,people talk before they think!
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