Feeling very down on my postpartum body :(

Anens630 · July 2013

Any other new mamas (regardless of what baby this is for you) dealing with really low self-esteem from what our bambinos did to our bodies??

My boy weighed 11 lbs and literally tore apart my abdominal muscles. This was number 3 for me and my body took it hard. I look at myself and feel sick to my stomach. My stomach is saggy, my thighs tough each other, my arms have cellulite on them!! I feel so discouraged and hopeless...esp around my fit as a fox husband and my girlfriends who are childless.

I try to look at my children and realize that ruining my body was worth it. I "pin" inspirational stories and pictures of other post-partum mamas--but at the end of the day I feel disgusting.

I want to lose 30 lbs. What frustrates me is not only does having a baby physically change your appearance, but hormonally as well.

For instance, I am just getting over a horrible virus and did not eat anything for four days...I weighed myself this am hoping to see some lbs drop and i weigh a POUND MORE!!!! How is that even possible?!! I literally have been sweating my fever and sipping ice water for the past four days.

That's what I mean--can hormones play a factor in weight loss?

I have gotten to the point where I don't even want to be in my kids pictures---I do at the end because I don't want to seem selfish-but when I look at them I just want to cry.

Anyways, any other new moms dealing with this?

nhenryoliver · July 2013

Hi there.
I am not a new mum, but very much recognise how you are feeling. As much as i could not hear it when i had my second baby, try to keep focussed, as as you lose lbs and get back into your postpartum wardrobe, your confidence will improve.
Yes carrying our babies takes over your body, especially the hormones, but as you know it is worth it in the connection with them and your husband.
I breast fed both of my children, so did not lose much weight until they each stopped when they were one. In my case, massive effect of hormones! Then went back to work in a very stressful job, where i have made some poor food choices due to stress. I am thankful to have a husband who does not care about my weight, but understands the link between my confidence and my dress size!
Remind yourself of the great things you have, and maybe have a picture of yourself to aspire to. However, my focus re weight loss is more health in keeping up with my kids. Made such a difference.

Good luck and keep your head up

rmywife14 · July 2013

I probably could have written this exact post eight months ago after I had my fourth little one. It's a tough place to be. I kept crying and saying,"I'm not supposed to look this way!" Fortunately, I had a wonderful mentor in my life who encouraged me to enjoy my new baby first and foremost and find a way to accept my new body while I was on my fitness journey since it would not be a quick one. Instead of wearing sweatpants and waiting to fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans, she encouraged me to go buy some flattering jeans that actually fit the size I really was-even if I despised the number on the tag. I had to learn to love myself big before I could really be ok with getting smaller if that makes sense. Otherwise, I would forever be basing my happiness on the numbers on the scale. These words changed my entire outlook! I got over my insecurities about being the fat girl in the gym and have since lost 75 lbs. You can do this! Just be kind to yourself, and know this it will take some time which is completely ok. Feel free to add me as a friend. Good luck in your journey and congrats on your little one!

Anens630 · July 2013

I just bought a pair of 12 jeans tonight. My son is almost 4 months and I have been living in yoga pants--but I went and bought a pair of jeans. Of course now I have muffin top and have no idea how to hide that with wearing jeans--hence me wearing yoga pants.

I think we have so much pressure--be a mom, be a wife, career, take care of yourself, clean house, cook, have energy for children, have energy for spouse/partner, look like a Kardashian as soon as you leave hospital. I am so low about my body and my self-esteem and its killing my husband. He is tres supportive but he is so in shape and hot and I feel like a marshmallow next to him.

I just needed to vent---I feel like no one understands how low my self-esteem is because everyone is so bloody fabulous in my circle. I have two little girls and I will not let them hear me speak of myself this way. They don't need me staring at myself in the mirror and saying "look how fat your stomach is"---I never used to speak like this.

marilynx · July 2013

Wow, I can feel the pain in this thread. I know having a baby can take a toll on our bodies physically, but can I project another way of looking at things:

I also had a baby going on 6 months ago in a few short days. I don't mean to sound like I'm tooting my own horn, because I need to lose more weight than any women who have commented this far, but I think we should look at our post pregnancy bodies differently.

You see, even though my body shape is no what it was, I have more stretch marks than before and boobs that kinda droop, I love my body. I love it more than I did before I had my son. I love it more now than when I was 142 pounds in high school.

Ladies, I don't mean to sound all mother earthy on you all, but look at how powerful we are as women. We were able to carry ANOTHER LIVING BEING inside us for 9 months, nourish that being and being forth that being into this world. We all went through immeasurable pain that on the pain scales said we should have died. Some of us underwent a c-section that can potentially cause medical problems, even death. We perform miracles every time we give birth to a baby.

Then check this out: after he baby is born we barely sleep. Who else but a mother can undergo 30 hours of labor and only need a bite of food and then can feed and take care of her baby? When my son was first born, his first week I got MAYBE 8 hours of sleep TOTAL. I know this is the same story for some of you women here.

All I'm saying is, we as women are so strong, so beautiful, so powerful. Our outward appearance is only a piece of who we are as women. We as mothers are a pinnacle of strength, endurance and love. The next time you look at yourself in the mirror and you feel down due to your body, just remember everything that you've endured giving birth and raising a child. Our bodies went through he'll, and all we got for battle scars are stretch marks and a few extra pounds. It takes a championship fighter to come out of a near death experience like birth with only a few battle scars that are for he most part reversible.

Love yourself ladies. You deserve it.

uwsmama · July 2013

Hey Alycat, I'm also in the same boat. I'm 12 weeks post partum with #2 and I feel and look awful. My husband is gorgeous, athletic and genetically blessed (with lots of genetically blessed sisters who can pop out babies and go back to six packs like it's nothing!). Let's support each other and get through this!

kerr2010 · August 2013

I seriously could have written this post word for word! I just had my son 7 weeks ago and am struggling badly with my self esteem. I have cried myself to sleep many nights. I worry that those around me are judging me, that my husband no longer will find me attractive and worst of all that I will pass on these horrible insecurities to my own daughter.

I also pin and read through stories of postpartum bodies and stories meant to encourage me and boost my confidence. It works temporarily and then my self doubts and thoughts of self loathing sneak back up on me.

My husband has lost over 90 pounds this year and feels great and gets compliments when we see family and instead of feeling proud I feel resentful and jealous, which is so horrible.

Many days I feel like giving up. It is hard and the progress is slow and honestly part of me is worried that I will never be happy and that thought scares me.

Anyway, I am not sure what the answer is.

Feeling very down on my postpartum body :(

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