What to do when your friend is losing more weight than you??

You should ask her if you can borrow her slim in 6 videos and go for it!!!!!! There is no reason you can't get the same result.

I completely understand where you are coming from. It is really difficult not to compare yourself with others, especially knowing that you started at the same weight a few months back. I don't think there's a "way" to stop focusing on that, other than to just do it. Practice focusing on the progress you have made. When you get distracted by the difference in your weights, practice remembering the good changes that have taken place. 10 lbs is no joke! I've been here since late April, and I've lost 7 (maybe a little more, I haven't weighed in in a few weeks). What I have gained is greater knowledge of myself and my capabilities. I like myself more now, because I've demonstrated that this hasn't been just a lame attempt at shedding some weight quickly. I've come to realize that I want to be healthy for the rest of my life, and that starts here. It's not going to happen quickly, it's a process that I want to make the most of. That's what keeps me going, not the number staring up at me on the scale.

And if it helps, know that if your friend goes back to her old lifestyle with food/exercise, she won't maintain the weight loss (even if she is right now). Sooner or later, it will probably come back. Meanwhile, if you stick with what you are doing, losing slowly, and making real changes that you will be able to sustain for the rest of your life, you will come out at the end of this journey much healthier, and much less likely to gain your weight back. Good on you! Slower weight loss is harder mentally, but just remember that you didn't gain your weight overnight. You won't lose it overnight either. True, lasting weight loss rarely happens on the time line you've set out for yourself, but it will happen if you stay consistent and honest. You CAN do this. The only way you fail is if you stop trying.

I'll give you my example. I have Celiac's Disease, and am very limited in what I can eat. Basically, I eat healthy, partially because I need to, but also because I want to. I work out 5-6 days p/wk for 50mins+ p/session. I had gained back over 20lbs 3yrs ago and no matter how much I cut my food down and went to the gym, nothing happened: I didn't lose, I didn't change, nothing. I started working out in the mornings before I got ready for work last December, and being really careful with what I eat (I started this site as well). The first few months, nothing happened; believe me, I was FRUSTRATED :mad: to the point of Explosion:explode: But I kept it up. In March, I had finally lost a couple lbs: and since then, my total weight lose since I started MFP has been 12lbs. However, I have been working out, and toned and firmed that I fit into clothes I fit into when I was 10lbs thinner than I am right now. So it has taken time, a lot of patience, persistence & consistence. If I cut my calories down too much, I gain, if I don't drink enough water, I gain: if I do anything other people do to lose weight, I gain! But I think I figured out my "trick". I focused on toning, strengthening and firming: I still track my calories and am mindful of what I eat, but if I go over, oh well: I'm doing this slowly and steadily which means it is long term, and as long as I keep it up, permanent. This will last longer than fad diets, surgeries or any "quick-loss" program.
I look at me now and look at me 9 months ago, and I am a different person: I feel better because I did this the right way for me, my body and my soul.
I KNOW you can do this! You just have to be patient and consistent in what you want. If you would like extra support, add me as a friend: I know this is hard, I will struggle with it for the rest of my life, but I WILL NOT LET IT GET THE BEST OF ME!:flowerforyou:

I've just read you profile and see you have PCOS. I have that too. I'm afraid that we have to work double hard to achieve half the loss than someone who hasn't got it :grumble: Such is life hun, we all have a cross to bear :laugh:

I wouldnt compare yourself to anyone. You are unique. Strive to be your own person and be the best YOU can be. Just as your friend is sailing through her weight loss, someone somewhere is having double the trouble that you are.

Good luck on achieving your goals :flowerforyou:

I have 5 bucks cash money that says she will have gained at least half of it back within 6 months of today.

Okay...so i have a very close girlfriend who in June was the exact same size as me. She decided that she needed to lose weight because her parents were coming into town and she didn't want them to know she was as overweight as she was (210 lbs). She started Slim in Six and walk away the pounds. During this time, I also started to focus on weight loss and joined Weight Watchers and doing light excercising. 6 weeks later she was down over 34 pounds and has maintained that weight and I have only lost 10lbs.

I am feeling very upset because she told me today that she is not working out any longer or watching really what she eats and she has been able to maintain the weight loss. I on the other hand, dont drink enough water for one day and I gain a pound back. I know people lose weight differently but, I am feeling like such a failure. She has lost an average of 3 lbs a week!! The thing that pisses me off even more is that I can out run her, out walk her, out lift her, and I am in physically much better shape than she is!

Has anyone delt with something like this before???How do you stop focusing on it and just get back to doing what you need to do??

6 weeks is too soon to draw any meaningful conclusions--she has not "maintained" anything at this point. In fact, there is a 95% chance that your friend will regain all of her lost weight within 2 years. 34lbs in 6 weeks? Unless she is working out twice a day, probably less than 20% of that is actual fat.

If you have concerns over your perceived lack of progress, you should revisit your program to make sure you are doing the right things. Maybe you are eating more than you think--are you measuring everything on a scale or measuring cup? I mean everything. Are you still adding "hidden" calories in your diet--sugar drinks, alcohol, samples at the store, coffee creamers, dressings, condiments, etc? What do you mean by "light" exercise? Are you doing resistance exercises?

If everything is in line, then just stay the course. You will continue to see results.

Just don't be too hard on her when she starts putting the pounds back on.

It's hard not to be jealous - I know I would feel exactly the same as you do! But don't think of losing weight as a competition - you are getting slim and healthy for yourself, and you WILL lose a similar amount of weight in time. The difference is, by doing it slowly and sensibly, you won't find it difficult to maintain your weight, whereas I suspect your friend will.

How about being a "friend" and saying congratulations on all your hard work!! We're big kids now, no more jr. high sounds like she's been putting in some hard work. Her hard work is paying off. Why be jealous? Someone suggested borrowing her videos..:laugh: I agree, I would likely trip on the steps runnin over to get them so I too could get results from the videos.

We aren't in a competition in weightloss, except perhaps within ourselves (as long as it's a healthy one), be happy she's had success. What if the shoe was on the other foot and she was all freaked out and resentful toward you because she losing slower...

Whew, some crazy threads today:noway: I have enough to keep track of within my own life, forget worrying about what the person next to me is doing........

I say be proud of your work, keep your eyes on your own paper and you'll do fine:drinker:

Becca:flowerforyou:

Sheryl:

I understand and feel your jealously of your friend! Like other posters have said, it is likely she will not maintain the loss, while you are doing it the "right" way for long-term loss. Regardless of being friends, etc., it is ok and healthy to feel jealousy when you are working so hard. I know I am a bit competitive (even though I don't mean to be) and am incredibly hard on myself. Maybe you feel the same way? I found with one particular friend-not on MFP- that I simply had to stop talking about weight loss. For me, it takes the jealousy and competitive feeling away.

You are doing a great job! Keep your chin up and keep rockin' it!