Back...again! Not giving up this time!

blueyegrl
blueyegrl Posts: 248 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hi everyone, I joined MFP back in late 2011 and over the course of about 6 months managed to lose about 45 lbs, which was almost to my goal weight. 2012 had me making several huge changes and the stress (I'm an emotional eater) was the beginning of the end for me. Over the course of a year I have managed to gain 60+ lbs, and I'm now 75 lbs away from my goal weight. My mother passed away unexpectedly in February, and I began drinking heavily, eating heavily and basically not giving a cr@p about myself or anyone or anything around me. On Sunday (7/14) I hit rock bottom with my drinking (I'll save you the gory details lol). I realized I was basically killing myself and something had to change. I rejoined MFP, I have been logging since Monday morning, and have been sober for 4 days now. I'm also realizing that I need to stop looking at the whole picture and I need to take one day at a time (so cliche, but so true). I need to start working out again, but right now I'm just concentrating on food, again, one step at a time. Also I have had a gym membership for the past year (expires next week) and have NOT gone ONCE. I paid for a whole year and never stepped foot in the place because I have an unnatural fear of gyms, I feel like everyone is going to be laughing at the fat girl in the room, and I can't bring myself to just go already. I need to cancel before the 23rd, but I also wish I could face my fear and just go!!!

So that's my story, I'm in desperate need of motivation, and friends who understand that I'm not perfect but who will support me all the same. I will do my best to be supportive also! Thanks for "listening". :smile:

Replies

  • shawnmsaunders
    shawnmsaunders Posts: 12 Member
    Little victories, that is all you can focus on. If you look at the big goal you'll just get demotivated.

    I am a visual thinker ... and there are a couple quotes from Michelangelo that have always helped me stay focused on the right things ...

    "“In every block of marble I see a statue as plain as though it stood before me, shaped and perfect in attitude and action. I have only to hew away the rough walls that imprison the lovely apparition to reveal it to the other eyes as mine see it.” ~ Michaelangelo

    "“I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.” ~ Michaelangelo

    So ... overall ... we are all rough blocks of stone with all sorts of imperfections ... and every positive step you take is another piece of stone shaved off ... If you have set backs - don't focus on those - rather focus on the positive steps and keep carving away ... It's a lot of work ... but every little piece counts and soon enough you will be set free. Never give up and always get back up.
  • messpark36
    messpark36 Posts: 33
    Hi! Add me if you want. We all need encouragement and motivation! I know I do!
  • Laurayinz
    Laurayinz Posts: 930 Member
    Welcome back. :flowerforyou:

    Can you take a little tour of the gym, or just poke your head in again to see what sorts of people go there? Or maybe take a class that might have people of more shapes and sizes than the super fit ones you're afraid of? Hang in there, it's tough but it can be done.
  • Rosamia41
    Rosamia41 Posts: 17 Member
    Welcome back! we can encourage each other and meet our goals.
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
    Welcome back.

    I'm so sorry you've had such a bad stretch, but I'm glad you've found yourself and are now doing something about it.

    You're right about the one day at a time, sometimes it may need to be one hour at a time. Success is about baby steps.

    As to your unnatural fear of gyms, believe me, it's not unnatural, there are a lot of people who feel the way you do. God knows I did, but I learned that 99 percent of gym goers are more concerned about themselves than they are about anyone around them, they might notice you but they're not going to laugh at you. Remember, you don't know where they came from when they began. The one percent who might be rude, trust me, they're idiots and no one is happy about their presence.

    Admittedly I don't go to the gym anymore but it has nothing to do with fear anymore. It was a time thing for me.

    So good luck, we're here, and a lot of us have been where you are, if you need help, reach out.
  • PrincessKittenpants
    PrincessKittenpants Posts: 144
    *hugs* I'm here for support sweetie! Good luck:happy:
  • TheFinalThird
    TheFinalThird Posts: 315 Member
    Blueyegrl... first of all, I am so sorry for all that you have been through. Second, our parallels in life are scary. If you want, you can read my loss/gain situation here... http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1046441-life-nailed-me-but-i-didn-t-screw-myself Bottom line is that I lost 95 pounds on MFP from July to December of last year, and gained back 42 of them from December to July due to dealing with very traumatic life circumstances (family illness, death, etc.). Eight days ago, I was at a crossroads. Continue to gain and probably die, or get back on the wagon and decide to live. In the past 8 days, I have exercised almost all of them, stayed within calories all of them, and re-dropped 12 pounds. I know that several of those pounds are probably water weight, but who cares. They're pounds. My clothes are back to fitting a little better, and I feel much better about myself.

    Like you, I was terrified to restart my exercise. What helped me was not having any preconceptions about how much or how little I could do after my several month layoff, starting slowly, and taking my wife along with me. I don't know if any of that helps you, but it worked for me. I am almost back to my peak fastwalking speed and am building the duration of my exercise daily. If you want to see the point where I hit absolute rock bottom, it's here.... http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1022515-june-19-2013 It still took me a few weeks to kick into gear after that post, but the important part is that I am finally moving in the right direction. I hope and pray for your strength and determination so that you can too. Let me know if I can help.
  • jreneecal
    jreneecal Posts: 118 Member
    You have already made the first step and looked your problem in the eye; and yes one day at a time. I've had a rough couple of years too losing my baby sister and other tragedies. But I know I need to take back control of my life, health and fitness. I've been on almost every day the last month so please feel free to add me as a friend, we can help each other on this journey.
  • skinnybearlyndsay
    skinnybearlyndsay Posts: 798 Member
    Add me for the support! You're back...that's what counts. :)
  • catbubbles
    catbubbles Posts: 28
    I used to have the same fear of gyms.... Now I just force myself to go. I started by going at 4am because that is when there is almost no one there. It helped me A LOT to go when there was only a couple people there. Now I have got to the point that (while I still don't like it), I can go about any time.

    Just like anything else, it takes practice.
  • FitzyFitzpatrick
    FitzyFitzpatrick Posts: 188 Member
    We're glad you're back. Life is hard.period. Some days and weeks are better than others...for all of us.

    Make this a new lifestyle, not a temporary fix. You CAN establish new habits, and you're SO worth it.

    Friend me if you like.
  • yeags84
    yeags84 Posts: 26 Member
    Stay strong! You can do this! You've been through a lot, and are STRONG!

    I've struggled with my weight for a long time and have recently finally started seeing results because I FINALLY got over my own fear of the gym. I never wanted to go, never wanted to go to the classes, because I didn't want to be the FAT girl. But I've come to realize that most people are either a) completely supportive! or b) too focused on their own workout to even notice. I started going to some of the classes offered by my gym, and I would get there early, introduce myself to the instructor, and have the instructor help me get any equipment I needed. Every instructor I've had has been supportive and encouraging. Even when I'm not in a class, most people are focused on their own workout, they're not looking at what I look like. Keep in mind that not every person at the gym has been fit and athletic their entire lives. There are certainly a number of people at your gym who have been there (and probably some that ARE there)!
  • SavingSarah41
    SavingSarah41 Posts: 39 Member
    Feel free to add me!!! I am a stay at home mommy of 5 year old twins. I have 100+ to lose but it is and will continue to come off!!!
  • feby28
    feby28 Posts: 3 Member
    I'M WITH YOU!

    I started off around 146 at the end of March, then dropped down to 130 in May. I was losing steady weight, but then was distracted and starting eating poorly. For example, I went through two tubs of haagen daz..... in a week because I was stress eating.

    Currently I'm sitting at 128 and I've trying to lose the last 15lbs the past months, but I'm still eating poorly!

    LET'S CRUSH THIS. NO MORE EXCUSES. NO MORE DITCHING THE DIET AND EXERCISE REGIMES.
  • suemarotz
    suemarotz Posts: 12 Member
    Welcome back! Sounds like you are dedicated and ready to put your goals ahead of all, we've been given this crazy thing called life and its roller coaster ride, but just stay on the ride, hold on tight and we will be here to cheer you on!
  • DawnFroude
    DawnFroude Posts: 1
    I have the same fears with Gyms as well. I have spent many dollars over the years and went 2 - 3 times and then gave up for the exact same reasons! I am not sure where you are located but I recently found a place for just women that give you a HARD workout, but the motivation and guidance you need. It's called "30 Minute Hit". It's a kickboxing circuit and it's only 30 minutes. With my crazy life and little time to myself along with my addiction to reality tv shows (LOL), as well as my fears of excersizing, I can't afford much time to commit to the ever so dreadful excersize regime! This place rocks! I take my asthma meds, hit as hard as I can (and thats not real hard right now) and follow the program. When my legs, but or stomach hurt where I can't go no more, the instructor says rest for a moment but keep trying...it's so awesome to have that guidance during my session where as every other place shows you the equipment and then throws you to the wolves!

    I really like going there, I don't feel intimidated even though I am so out of shape, and their motivation, guidance and assurance that I am doing the techniques properly make me keep coming back! I even got PINK gloves! They had other colors but that's a color that makes me feel good.

    So please google them and see if they are in your area. If not, I would start googling smaller places that cater to just women and ensure you get a trial and then go and think about it before signing up. Ask them questions too! I made sure this round that I asked questions that benefited me and my decision before proceeding. I wish you the best of luck and stay focused. If you fall down...pick yourself up, hold your head high and look forward and never look back!
    D
  • DellaWiedel
    DellaWiedel Posts: 125 Member
    Welcome back! I'd love to add you as a friend on here. I was very active on MFP back at the beginning of 2012 and lost over 20 pounds, but then I stopped logging in and regained 14 of those pounds. So I've started logging back in for a week now, and so far so good! I'd love some more friends though, so we can motivate each other. And I certainly understand "not being perfect." One day at a time is a good way to look at things. I'm definitely no diet/fitness expert, I'm just looking for other friends who are trying to be healthier in general and who can encourage each other! :)
  • Maddalen101
    Maddalen101 Posts: 307 Member
    Sounds like we all have stories! I too slipped, gained back 11 of the 21 pounds I'd lost, and I'm getting back to the groove. Not easy, but support truly helps. please feel free to add me!

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