Anorexic Friends...

getting_fit86
getting_fit86 Posts: 128 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Just seeking some advice.

I have about 12 pounds to go until I reach my goal weight. However, I feel really discouraged being surrounded by my friends who are literally anorexic. My friend often brags about how little she can eat - yesterday for example she said she only ate half a bagel. They don't really work out but they are bone thin. I get jealous of their bodies since they are so skinny (not really scary skinny - they do have some bones sticking out but not grossly skinnt). Any time I bring up the topic they claim that they just have a fast metabolism and are naturally thin. I love them as friends but I hate feeling like a pig when they decide to eat nothing and stay thin.

What do I do? Do i unfriend them completely? I have tried telling them how I feel - nothing has worked!

Replies

  • Chokis
    Chokis Posts: 131
    I would probably pity them, because their bodies don't get any nourishment with what they eat. They're damaging their health.
    If their appearance bothers you so much, just don't hang out with them. Surround yourself with people of similar values and lifestyle. Life is too short to waste it with the wrong people.
  • redwngs13
    redwngs13 Posts: 194 Member
    It's sad that your friends are not taking care of their bodies. If they won't listen to your advice, and if you're really bothered by their bodies and actions, I would try to avoid hanging out with them from now on.

    Just know that you are being smart and taking care of your body by giving it what it needs. Depriving yourself of nourishment is a sure way to ruin your metabolism, and then you're screwed for a long time! (fixing a messed up metabolism takes a longgggggg time)
  • annasor70
    annasor70 Posts: 187 Member
    As a teen maybe you can get by on eating nothing, but I can guarantee you that as they get older they will get unhealthy and start to look bad. You are right to eat well. They are the dumb ones! :)
  • auddii
    auddii Posts: 15,357 Member
    Are these, real friends or people on your MFP friends list? If it's the latter, they likely won't take your advice nor care about anything they don't want to hear. There may not be any kind of real emotional connection. I had one who I'd suggest every few days to try and eat closer to goal, and she unfriended me on her own.

    If they're "real life" friends, hopefully there is an emotional connect between you and they can handle some hard truths a little more. I would think it's worth talking about, and perhaps give them some resources to look at. They may not objectively see that their habits are disordered, but maybe reading stories of others who have recovered will point out what they are doing.
  • lisamarie1780
    lisamarie1780 Posts: 432 Member
    Just seeking some advice.

    I have about 12 pounds to go until I reach my goal weight. However, I feel really discouraged being surrounded by my friends who are literally anorexic. My friend often brags about how little she can eat - yesterday for example she said she only ate half a bagel. They don't really work out but they are bone thin. I get jealous of their bodies since they are so skinny (not really scary skinny - they do have some bones sticking out but not grossly skinnt). Any time I bring up the topic they claim that they just have a fast metabolism and are naturally thin. I love them as friends but I hate feeling like a pig when they decide to eat nothing and stay thin.

    What do I do? Do i unfriend them completely? I have tried telling them how I feel - nothing has worked!

    It's hard when you are attached to people with unhealthy habits. The best thing is to move on though, you are better off being friends with people who share your goals and lifestyle.... otherwise you are just going to clash and hurt each other's feelings. Anorexia is a disease, it's nothing to be 'jealous' of and I very much doubt that they look or feel great whatever you may think and whatever they may tell you.

    Until they realise this for themselves and get help... they are on a road to nowhere.... why would you want to go with them?
  • sourmash1973
    sourmash1973 Posts: 149 Member
    If they are truly friends and you value their friendship, just do your own thing and let them do theirs. NONE of my friends share my enthusiasm for running and getting in shape but that doesn't stop me from being friends with them. Don't let others affect your goals.
  • KarenJanine
    KarenJanine Posts: 3,497 Member
    Your friends are setting themselves up for a lifetime of body image issues and are potentially harming their health. Even if they seem ok now, if they continue on this path then they may well suffer a host of physical and mental health issues as time goes on.

    Bragging about getting by on only half a bagel in a day? That person is starving themselves. They will be causing damage to their metabolism by doing so, and losing muscle mass, which at 18 they may not think is a problem but somewhere down the line it certainly could be.

    Keep losing weight the sensible way and carry on with your life. If they are pressuring you to eat a certain way or be a certain weight then they are not the sort of friends you need.
  • Greenrun99
    Greenrun99 Posts: 2,065 Member
    Seeing ribs sticking out and boney body figure is not sexy..
  • Lalasharni
    Lalasharni Posts: 353 Member
    I'm on this site for helpful, sensible advice and I try to give the same.
    If anyone friends me and then starts talking this cow-poo, I unfriend them. I don't have time to pity people or complement them on their insanity. All of my current friends are doing just-fine-thankyou on MFP guidelines for healthy eating and slow, sensible weight loss.
    Anorexics, yep they have their problems, but they're not my problems. Hard faced *****? No I'm not, but I dont want to fill my head with nonsense.
  • Chokis
    Chokis Posts: 131
    Oh, if your friends are girls, tell them they're also ruining their hormonal functions. If they don't start eating right, it will lead to hormonal dysfunctions to the point where they will have fertility problems later in life.
  • SezxyStef
    SezxyStef Posts: 15,267 Member
    these friends...long term friends? if so why is this bothering you now?

    I have always been "the big" friend and not so much now and what they eat doesn't concern me....why does what they eat or rather "say" what they eat bothers you?

    Is it about their health? or your view of yourself? or the whole "it's not fair" thing?
  • Aliviuum
    Aliviuum Posts: 67
    Don't pity them, don't be mad at them. Thank God I had a very concerned and supportive husband to seek help for me and be there for me through an eating disorder.

    An eating disorder is a way of feeling in control of something, anything. It's only about appearing beautiful in the beginning. They feel like they can control how beautiful they appear to others through anorexia (ana) or bulimia (mia). Bragging about what they have or have not eaten is a way to feel in control once they've lost control. It's not to make you or others feel bad about yourselves.

    After a while though you become a prisoner of your eating disorder. Even if you want to stop. you can't without help.
    Telling them they are ruining themselves or that they need help without comforting them is only going to make it worse.

    If you're genuinely upset by the conversations they have, tell them how you feel. Don't criticize them but let your feelings be known.

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