Dealing with jealousy. Help!

amandzor
amandzor Posts: 386 Member
in Motivation and Support
Anyone else having an issue with family members/friends being jealous about your weightloss sucess?

My younger sister (who is also on the heavy side) has started making rude remarks and snide comments everytime I celebrate a small victory outloud.

For example: I recently compared two of my weightloss pics, for some NSV motivation. Rather than be happy for my progress the only thing she said was "Well you're wearing black in that one."

Thanks, sis. Really.

I've always been heavier than her, but never by more than 10-20 pounds. So a few days ago when she asked for some calorie advice the topic of weight came up, and it came out that I only weigh 5 pounds more than her, and am shedding it fast. She freaked, got upset, angry and bitter. She never seems happy for me, only focused on teh fact -she- might soon be the heaviest of 4 siblings (As one of my brothers has already dropped a remarkable 120 pounds in a year.)

Has anyone experienced this problem? What did you do? Especially when I can't just cut her out of my life, she's my sister, and I live with her, so that's not really an option.

Replies

  • HardcoreP0rk
    HardcoreP0rk Posts: 936 Member
    My sister isnt really overt about it or anything but there are subtle digs because she just hates living in my shadow. I ignore it and put it down to her own frustrations and insecurities. She lives with me now, so I know what you mean.
  • dandelyon
    dandelyon Posts: 620 Member
    Maybe it will be the motivation she needs. I would probably try to keep the subject off of your weightloss - change the subject if you have to -and let her work through her feelings. Even if she does decide to lose weight, she will probably want to do it in a totally different way than you are, because, sisters...
  • twosixeight
    twosixeight Posts: 24
    I have a friend (who to me is like a sister, as I have none) who seems to dislike the fact that I'm on a "diet" and losing weight. Even though I only started a little over a week ago, she has already made comments suggesting I should give up and I won't be on this diet very long. I can't even mention my successes and triumphs with her because she will automatically go on the defense about her own weight issues and make my little triumphs seem unsignificant or even worthy to celebrate. She constantly wants to take me out to lunch and gets angry when I don't order my usuals and instead get a healthy option on the menu. Its almost like she is plotting to foil my weightloss goals. Its hard because she used to by my support for other things in my life and now I feel like I can't rely on her for this new journey of mine.
  • 1shauna1
    1shauna1 Posts: 993 Member
    Well, the jealousy is her issue, not yours. Definitely be proud and celebrate your successes, but maybe try to not rub her face in them. Hopefully she will come around and start to learn from you.
  • eileen0515
    eileen0515 Posts: 408 Member
    Well those of us who are being successful, at losing weight are usually a bit vocal about it. It really takes being a bit obsessive, to make it happen. Perhaps it's not jealousy, perhaps your pronouncements are causing some self loathing on her part. It can never hurt to go out of your way to be kind.
  • ygglove
    ygglove Posts: 102 Member
    Unfortunately, a lot of siblings have that sort of rivalry. It sucks, because you would think that your family would be your biggest support system/motivators. My sister is very similar to yours- I've learned that she isn't happy with herself the way she is- but she isn't ready to accept the 'pain' that comes with getting fit. Getting fit takes a lot out of you emotionally/mentally/physically... I know she will say more hurtful things, the more successful I am- but at the end of the day, she's my sister, and I know that she loves me- and her 'anger' is coming from herself, and actually has nothing to do with me- she's just taking it out on me..

    Our sisters are battling their own demons, as we are ours. We're choosing to get fit, and do something about it.. and right now they're still in the dark place we were a week ago, a month ago, a year ago- whenever anyone started. Don't let it hurt you, discourage you, or break you. You're a strong person- you will get fit, and when the time comes and she's ready- you will be there to help her. (:

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