I'm feeling old and sad today :(

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My 16 year old daughter starts college today - no more school ever! I've just made her a healthy breakfast, and a packed lunch using my low calorie bread because she likes it better than 'normal' bread(it just seemed wrong spreading butter on it!!) and I've given her one of my cereal bars as well as fruit and yoghurt. How kind of me eh? But I feel upset because it reminded me of her first day at nursery school, then primary school, then high school:frown: She's all grown up now!

On the 22nd September I will be feeling even more upset, because my oldest daughter, 18, is going to France for a gap year, before coming back for university in September 2011. She's excited about going but wow, I am going to miss her SO much! And part of me feels jealous, too, because I never had the same opportunity.:embarassed:

My two sons are both at university too, and in the space of 4 years, I will have gone from being a busy mum with 4 kids at home, to a not-very-busy-at-all mum with just one 16 year here!

I need to look on this as a positive event, I don't want to be a sad middle-aged lady suffering from empty nest syndrome, comforting myself with chocolate and cake! Help!!

Replies

  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    What a successful & blessed Mother you've been...you've taught your children well and sent them off into the world. Think of it as time for the Momma bird to teach them to fly and then it's time for them to try out their wings and leave the nest.

    You did good, now it's their turn, I can only imagine what you're going through, keep taking care of yourself and you'll make it through this though it may be hard and painful.

    ((((Maggie))))))

    Becca:heart:
  • cpu22girl
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    Hang in there.....it sounds like you have done all the right things.....stay strong!!
  • DMK710
    DMK710 Posts: 106 Member
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    :heart: I know how you feel ! My two children are grown and out on their own. My daughter will be 24 in 3 1/2 weeks and has a wonderful husband, a beautiful 17 month old baby girl and a beautiful home of their own. My son is 20 and lives with his wonderful girlfriend. It is such an adjustment and kind of scary too because I, like you, was a very active busy mom with two children consuming my life and time totally and boooooom one day they are grown and on their own.
    :heart: Just remember "We did one fantastic job raising our children" when we can look at them and see them using all the tools that we have taught them along the way.
    :heart: Now you get to put yourself first for the first time in many many years.....It's weird but I promise - it will get easier !
  • gillleeman
    gillleeman Posts: 397 Member
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    Keep strong, like Healthychanges said, a credit to you. If your children are anything like mine, they don't go completely because every little problem they have they're on the end of the phone or coming back for the weekend. It won't take you long to adjust to having more time either then you'll wonder how the heck you managed to do everything before!
  • chriscuts
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    you should be feeling so proud of yourself as you've done a fab job!! things will be a little strange to begin with, but more time for YOU.... my son is leaving at the end of the month... thats gonna make my house so quiet!! Enjoy the new time you have for yourself and look for interesting hobbies that youve been meaning to do for ages.. xx
  • 3110cynthia
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    You have VERY much to be proud of - 4 kids all decided to go to college - that's almost miraculous - most other mom's would be jealous of that fact alone - empty nest syndrome or no
    You know what - how about giving yourself some time to grieve for the loss of the company of your crew
    And then decide to do something and i mean something big to do with your time from now on - start small of course but with an ultimate goal of having a rather impressive creative outlet like starting your own food bank - or becoming a teacher of second-lauguage classes or any class - or get a degree yourself
    ya know you said you're kinda jealous your daughter gets to go to europe for herself at her age - how about saving up the money and getting yourself there for a longterm trip for yourself at your age - all different ages equals all different experiences not greater or lesser experiences - ya know now that your children are grown there's no reason why you can't trust one or more of them to take c/o your home/pets and whatnot for you
    whadaya think?
    either way - you've already a goal that youre working on - really put yourself into it and accomplish it - i know you can - find whatever motivation you can to get you there
    since you've already accomplished so much there's no reason why you can't accomplish just as much impressive stuff just different stuff - OR - take a huge leap and foster some children - the thought of that alone might get you out of your funk
  • HealthyChanges2010
    HealthyChanges2010 Posts: 5,831 Member
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    You have VERY much to be proud of - 4 kids all decided to go to college - that's almost miraculous - most other mom's would be jealous of that fact alone - empty nest syndrome or no
    You know what - how about giving yourself some time to grieve for the loss of the company of your crew
    And then decide to do something and i mean something big to do with your time from now on - start small of course but with an ultimate goal of having a rather impressive creative outlet like starting your own food bank - or becoming a teacher of second-lauguage classes or any class - or get a degree yourself
    ya know you said you're kinda jealous your daughter gets to go to europe for herself at her age - how about saving up the money and getting yourself there for a longterm trip for yourself at your age - all different ages equals all different experiences not greater or lesser experiences - ya know now that your children are grown there's no reason why you can't trust one or more of them to take c/o your home/pets and whatnot for you
    whadaya think?
    either way - you've already a goal that youre working on - really put yourself into it and accomplish it - i know you can - find whatever motivation you can to get you there
    since you've already accomplished so much there's no reason why you can't accomplish just as much impressive stuff just different stuff - OR - take a huge leap and foster some children - the thought of that alone might get you out of your funk
    Some great thought you put into this post, so glad you shared, it really hit my heart reading it!

    How true, to have ALL your children interested and able to be college bound is beyond awesome!!! Yes, you've done many things right and now it's time to see how they do without Mom and for Mom time again, ahhh the endless possibilities :)
  • jodie_t
    jodie_t Posts: 287 Member
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    The last of my 3 left properly 6 years ago, but they are ALWAYS back for weekends, Christmas etc, bringing in tow, partners, dogs, (and very soon a grand daughter). They never *really* leave - when they're not backwards and forwards they're emailing or phoning. But I am loving my freedom too! Have some *you* time! Take up interests you never had time for before; go out with your friends, get a job or leave a job :)) do what you like - the freedom is fantastic... you have the best of both worlds. It's not called the golden age for nothing..! ;o)
  • karenjoy
    karenjoy Posts: 1,840 Member
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    I only have one of my 3 left at home now, My son (my baby!) will be 18 in a few days. He is still in the sixth form (went back today) for his final year and then I don't know if he will go to college or Uni etc, But I am very proud of him as he has ADHD and PDD on the Autistic Spectrum and not only did they tell me he would get worse as he got older, they also told me he would not attend mainstream school. Well he proved them wrong on both counts and is doing pretty good with his life, He is studying for a BTEC in sports, is a talented and gifted athlete and has a great part time job as a chef in a lovely old village pub. My oldest daughter (22) is the Assistant Manager at a travel agent and lives in a GREAT appartment, has travelled to Egypt, Cape Verdi, Spain, Turkey, Cofu and Mexico and the middle Daughter (19) is at University on the Mainland studying to be a Nurse, she is living in a slightly dodgy area but loves it as it is near the shops and town. She s currently on placement in a Coronary Care Unit.

    I am SO proud of them, it doesn't make me sad that they are all growing and leaving, it is, after all, what I want for them all. I love and cherish them, love to have them round us at Christmas and at other times (although they are rarely all together)

    This is at my Wedding last year (almost my anniversary) My Son gave me away and my girls were my bridesmaids. Made me SO proud.

    16560_194339778768_658183768_2908543_1167817_n.jpg

    Be proud of how good a Mum you must be to have them all able and willing to leave and make a life for themselves! Well done!