Need help with motivation.

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daniellek30
daniellek30 Posts: 171 Member
in Motivation and Support
So, if you would like to read, here is my story.

I'm never been skinny .. but, until recently i've never actually been overweight. I've just been .. whatever. After my boyfriend went away on his deployment, I lost about fifteen pounds and for once felt good about myself. Since then i've been working out all of the time, until the beginning of july. In the beginning of july, my sister passed away. I don't mean to make this a pity party, but I found her that morning, and since then i've had no motivation to do anything at all really. I also ended up getting a sinus and ear infection at the same time and it still hasn't gone away because of my lack of insurance to see an ENT.

The problem is that everyday when I try to work out, I think of my sister and get so upset and just quit .. how do I motivate myself again? I mean, I want to continue my workout, I want to try to use it as a way to get my mind off of the whole situation, but i'm not sure how ..

any help would be great. Thank you.

Replies

  • lutzsher
    lutzsher Posts: 1,153 Member
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    Oh honey, give yourself time to grieve. it took me about a year to feel human again after my Dad passed away, and a full 3 years before I could truly enjoy life again without being sad here and there. Be kind to yourself and just embrace the fact that sometimes you will feel like having a "personal pity party" day.
    Now in saying that find something you like to do . . . I love music so filled my ipod with my favorite upbeat songs and headed out for long walks with it blaring in my ears a lot. I loved the solitude of those walks, being in my own little world with my thoughts . . . it gets you up and active and feels good for your soul.
    Give yourself time . . . good luck!
  • KimSchnizleinWECHANGED
    KimSchnizleinWECHANGED Posts: 189
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    So, if you would like to read, here is my story.

    I'm never been skinny .. but, until recently i've never actually been overweight. I've just been .. whatever. After my boyfriend went away on his deployment, I lost about fifteen pounds and for once felt good about myself. Since then i've been working out all of the time, until the beginning of july. In the beginning of july, my sister passed away. I don't mean to make this a pity party, but I found her that morning, and since then i've had no motivation to do anything at all really. I also ended up getting a sinus and ear infection at the same time and it still hasn't gone away because of my lack of insurance to see an ENT.

    The problem is that everyday when I try to work out, I think of my sister and get so upset and just quit .. how do I motivate myself again? I mean, I want to continue my workout, I want to try to use it as a way to get my mind off of the whole situation, but i'm not sure how ..

    any help would be great. Thank you.

    Danielle .... Your situation is a difficult one ... I know a little how you feel .... My husband, Ray, died 3 yrs ago in Aug. (he was 49) I watched him suffer for 5 days, and I know that finding your sister is not a life-changing event that will just go away. This might sound a bit screwy .... But try embracing her memory while you work out. If you 2 shared any special songs put them on your mp3 (or whatever) and play them as you do your routine. From experience I can tell you that, at least in my case, attempting to bury the pain and, therefore, my husband's memory was actually counter productive to moving forward. If your sister was still here I would bet that she'd be cheering you on with this new life goal .... She still is! Don't beat yourself up about how this has affected you ... I'd wonder more about your sanity if you were saying that you're marching right along.I also ran into medical issues because of Ray's death, and I finally found a clinic that would see me for little or no cost. You might be surprised at what you might find in your community with some well-placed inquiries. Even today I'm still having issues that have stemmed from Ray's early call Home ... But I am moving on .... But not away .... And Ray .... Well ... He's my biggest fan!!

    Stay in touch because I'd really be interested in hearing about your progress. Feel free to add me as a friend!

    KIM
  • vickiele1
    vickiele1 Posts: 394 Member
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    You are in the grieving process - this is a totally normal response to a significant loss in your life. Give yourself time to heal. If you feel you need help with dealing with the loss of your sister, then seek out professional help. A therapist can help. I am a licensed therapist, and I experienced the loss of my oldest brother in April - it took me quite a while to get back on track - started exercising in June, and have been doing okay since. Everyone handles grief differently. I have the support of an entire therapeutic team - who were all very empathic and helped me get through the really tough days. You need to just allow yourself the time you need. Do what you can, but don't beat yourself up if you can't do something. If the grief symptoms last more than 6 months, you will need to see a therapist.

    I wish you the best and offer my condolences on your loss.

    Blessings

    Vickie
  • freebirdsnsc
    freebirdsnsc Posts: 56 Member
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    These ladies are correct. You haven't given yourself time to grieve Take one day at a time and do one thing good for yourself on a daily basis. In stead of thinking work out....just walk and breath. Talk to your sister...talk to God

    I dont know what your personal faith is....but if it is a part of who you are, lean on it, embrace it.


    My dad died July two years ago If it had not been for my faith and a total awesome experience with God the morning he died I would have been reduced to Jello. Because of my faith I was able to sing at his funeral I thank God for giving me that strength to do that.
    Its through my faith I find comfort and the belief that in God there are no goodbyes only I'll see you in the mornings

    For me knowing and believe that is such a comfort.....I still find myself crying a good bit but its because I miss the ol poot but I also know on Gods time he is just a blink away

    One of the last things my dad made me promise to do was get this weight off...instead of losing I gained It took me not being able to put my own shoes on for about a week back in the early part of Aug to snap me into the realization that if I did not start living healthier I was going to be in a wheel chair. That would greatly hinder my ability to help other esp my veterans and families

    My failure to lose weight and live a healthier life didnt stem from grief at all. Just hard headed rebellion against myself and my creator I had an obsession with food. I literally was a foodolic and gave new meaning to the sin of gluttony

    I will be saying a prayer for you.....May God pour out his peace in your heart so that you will know your sister is with him and whole
    May you find your desire to once again enjoy actives that will help you be healthy

    Peace and blessings my sister
  • peanut1967
    peanut1967 Posts: 52 Member
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    I agree with everyone else, aou have to give yourself time to grieve. But I also want to add that moving your body can be an instrument to help you through this time. I don't know how you work out, but maybe you just need to change your exercises. A more contemplative way of exercising like running (jogging) or walking outside, or yoga could possibly help you. Focus should be on moving and contemplating, not an weight loss, though. Weight loss will be happen as a side result. It also could avoid comfort eating.

    I wish you all the best and hope you find a good way to grieve.

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