Challenging spouses

1113cw · July 2013

My BF isn't exactly into changing his lifestyle or eating habits, which is totally fine with me. The problem I have is the evenings we spend together. We mostly hang at his house for geographical reasons. He doesn't cook, mostly orders out so dinner time is often a challenge. I've tried going home and eating there first but due to limited time it's not working. I don't really feel like always doing the cooking, at his house no less, so I'm just trying to come up with some kind of alternative. To be able to spend time together but not totally destroy my calorie intake for the day.

Anyone in the same predicament? Any suggestions on working around it?

cardbucfan · July 2013

I'm in the same boat with my husband. Luckily we live together :laugh: and I'm in charge of all the cooking (it's our deal and works for us-nobody needs to get judgey). I just do my own thing. If he wants to eat crap, most of the time it's on him to get it. I will build in some dinners throughout the week that probably aren't the healthiest but will try and budget for those throughout the day.

You have to do what's right for you. If that means you have to cook at his house to get where you want to be then that's what you are going to have to do. You can't make anybody else do what you want. If he's wanting take out maybe order something healthier from their menu or just plan ahead for those calories.

Excuse me, I have to go get Five Guys for my guy now! (at least he has a lot of life insurance!)

kymarai · July 2013

I too do all the cooking. Mine likes to try to sabotage with Oreos so I just have to keep in mind those extra calories at night. He does get happy for me when I reach goals. He eats what I cook for the most part. I would love to be able to do more vegan dishes, but he believes that potatoes and corn are veggies! (Okay, I know they technically are, but they are also starches, and in the case of corn, not digestible!) I try to pay more attention to portion control than anything else when we eat.

missbis · July 2013

It doesn't seem like you're giving yourself many options if you say you're too crunched for time to cook for yourself before you go to his house to spend time with him. That seems like the best idea and what I usually did before my boyfriend and I moved in together. You could always eat smaller portions at his house or try to convince him to order/cook healthier food. However, the only way you have total control of the situation is if you make your own food.

cindy326 · July 2013

I like doing all the cooking...I am slowly incorporating more healthy foods in all of our diets with out letting them know. Then I smile to myself when I ask "how was dinner" and everyone says fantastic. I cook normal foods just more balanced menus. I have 2 teenagers and my husband who like to eat. I am trying to lead by example and think im doing a good job. As for ordering out we still do occasionally I just try to exercise more on those days.

150tif · July 2013

Ido the cooking, it's the only way I can assure what's in my food. My husband loves butter and oil. If I make something higher in calories for dinner I pair it with a salad. After the salad loaded with veggies my actual dinner is on a salad plate. I'm still completely satisfied, we're both happy and I don't take a huge hit in my calories for the day. If I do go over, it's extra exercise the next day :-)

Another trick is to cook ajead and have frozen meals ready for when you're there. All you have to do is heat and enjoy :-)

1113cw · July 2013

Thanks for the great ideas!
I don't mind the cooking so much. But he's picky I guess you could say. Very traditional meat and potatoes guy. I don't think he would know what to do with veggies LOL. There are a few he likes but mostly starchy stuff like potatoes and corn which I try to stay away from. Plus his house is truly a bachelor pad with little kitchen gear.
I came up with an idea at the gym today that I may give a try... I'm going to try making breakfast and lunch a little heavier and add an afternoon snack and then if I'm still hungry maybe do a protein shake or something before heading over to his house.
I don't mind take out and wouldn't mind even selecting something healthier for myself but his choices are usually Dominoes and BK.

thrld · July 2013

I don't mind the cooking so much. But he's picky I guess you could say. Very traditional meat and potatoes guy. I don't think he would know what to do with veggies".

You really have only 2 choices at his house: Somebody cooks, or get takeway. If you don't like cooking at his house and he won't cook, then takeway it is.
But couldn't you keep a bag of salad, fruit and veggies, pre-cooked chicken in his fridge, and cans of soup, tunafish, beans etc.? He orders out, you have a salad. He gets pizza, you have a hummus rollup. He has burgers, you eat soup. His getting take out is his way of meal planning, a way that doesn't keep your way of eating in mind & if it is not good for you you should/can make your own food/arrangements.
You should do the same, meal planning that puts your needs first, and if he wants to join you fine. If not, he can make his own food/arrangements. You don't have to be eating the same food to share a meal(time).

Moya6512 · July 2013

Same situation for me. My boyfriend is trying to gain weight, so he pigs out on pastas, sandwiches, cakes/cookies, juice, etc. He is not bulking the healthy way, but he does drink protein shakes like crazy.
I have to cook twice as much, because he wont eat baked meats or brown rice/pasta, or egg whites...nothing.
He tells me to just go on an all water diet!! I want to smack him when he says such things....He is not well informed, yet for some reason he has great results from eating bs and lifting.

The silver lining is we are both trying to reach fitness goals.

My solutions have been to cook what he likes, steam me up a bunch of veggies.. eat small portions of the crap and fill up on veggies. As long as I stay in my calorie range. Luckily this is only when Im at his house.

Challenging spouses

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