Hello From Oklahoma

Hello all, I have been here a few times, and always end up saying ah to heck with it and that's it, but it has got to change this time, my nephew just turned 13 and that scares me to death, I want to be around to see him drive, to have his first girlfriend, to see so much with him. I have let myself down every time and I am sick of it and disgusted with myself, I don't want to keep down this path, I need help, I will be 29 next year and I don't want to be fat anymore, I want to feel comfortable in my own skin, I want to feel confident when being out in public and not feel like everyone is staring at me for the wrong reasons. I want to feel beautiful. I don't want to be a size 0 that's not realistic for me but I for sure want out of the 200 pound range. I right now am the heaviest that I have been on the upper end of the 200s and I hate myself for getting to where I'm at. I have tried almost every diet, every diet pill and sure it will work for a week but then its like I start feeling defeated and I give in, and I do not want that anymore, I have got to do this, there are no other options. My family it seems hereditary to be overweight, we have cancer, diabetics(which is the main one) heart disease and so much more and I don't want my life to be cut short by things that I can prevent by things that I have power of.

I come to this site in hopes of finding those who are like me, struggling who need the extra help and thoughts and prayers and all the other encouraging things that are here. So please feel free to add me on here or say hello. 2013 is the LAST year that I am going to be this heavy and this upset with myself. Best of luck to all of us here who are struggling and to those who have beaten this monster and are keeping strong at it!