Crushing blow...

Maybe I am being dramatic, but I have to say... it was a kick in the gut.

One year ago I went to a week-long fitness boot camp. All meals controlled. Workout all day, more or less. When I was weighed at check out time, I had lost 5 pounds. Yay! I then went to my parents 50th wedding anniversary celebration and lots of photos were taken by a professional photog. When the photos were done a couple of months later, I looked terribly heavy and was rather bummed about them. Fast forward to a couple of months ago, I decided enough was enough. Time to get real. Joined MFP and have lost 9 pounds so far (yay!) but had not taken any measurements to start, so I decided to ask the boot camp leader to send me my measurements. She did and along with the measurements she sent me my weight at check out. I guess in the ensuing months I'd forgotten what that was... turns out it is 10 pounds LESS than I am NOW. So from last year until the start of MFP I had gained TWENTY POUNDS. :-(

I have not compared my measurements yet -- perhaps the story there isn't so dismal. I am just so... I don't know. I thought my heaviest was in those pictures and it turns out I have 10 pounds to lose to even get to that horrible place :::inset crying emoticon:::

Replies

  • jwdieter
    jwdieter Posts: 2,582 Member
    You can only move forward. Losing 9 pounds in a couple months is a great start.
  • Ninkyou
    Ninkyou Posts: 6,666 Member
    Just take it one day at a time. It gets better.
  • la8ydi
    la8ydi Posts: 294 Member
    Agree with the other posters - nothing you can do about the past. Dry your tears and keep moving forward. You can do it!!!!
  • shadus
    shadus Posts: 424 Member
    You've already almost lost double what you lost at the camp, stick with it, you're doing great.
  • poohpoohpeapod
    poohpoohpeapod Posts: 776 Member
    life does NOT work in rewind. You have harnassed the fat beast, now put him in the damn cage! You can do it, and you are doing it. Keep going this IS the secret. I have lost about 100lbs and the key I think JUST KEEP DOING IT! Evil is the voice shaming you and making you feel bad. Keep at it and those photos will be a distant memory. I promise.
  • kathleennf
    kathleennf Posts: 606 Member
    You've already almost lost double what you lost at the camp, stick with it, you're doing great.

    This.
  • flitabout
    flitabout Posts: 200 Member
    There is no use in beating yourself up. I gained that much to over a year and now I have that + to lose. All you can do is pull up your big girl panties and start over. Remember you just lost 9 lbs! That is awesome!!!!! Pick up and move on. Learn from what you did wrong.
  • bert16
    bert16 Posts: 726 Member
    What difference does it make what weight you were after the camp (or 10 years ago or when you were 16)? All you can do is control your weight and measurements moving forward. I can totally relate; I dropped 30 lb while training for my first marathon, then crashed and went through a phase during which I paid no attention to what I was eating and couch-surfed for exercise. I ended up gaining back all 30 lb (plus 2 lb bonus!) in about 1.5 years. Then, just like you, I hit a day where I decided enough was enough and started paying attention to my calorie intake and exercising regularly again. I've got a ways to go to get back down to my "fightin' shape", but I focus on the path forward rather than where I was. Really, what alternative do we have?

    Best of luck to you moving forward and a huge congrats on the 9 lb down - I'm jealous! :wink:
  • AleciaG724
    AleciaG724 Posts: 705 Member
    After a few weeks on MFP I suddenly "gained" 8 pounds when I bought a new scale - and yes unfortunately the new one was accurate. I was really pissed at first that the 6 pounds I had lost didn't even put me back at what I thought my starting weight was! I felt like all I had done was for nothing - I had wasted 3 weeks! But then I realized it really doesn't matter in the long run, eventually it has to come off until I reach my goal weight. So yeah - demoralizing, I totally get it. But try not to think of the number, just continue making forward progress. Stick with it!!

    I log everything I eat, try to work out 30-45 minutes/day (usually swimming, sometimes hiking), and my diary is open. Feel free to send me a friend request.
  • 08312013
    08312013 Posts: 24
    WOW! No sympathy... and I love it. You're right. There is nothing but the future. I used to have a mantra when marathon training: "It just doesn't matter." When I have a pebble in my shoe running -- it just doesn't matter. It's raining -- it just doesn't matter.

    And this latest thing: my pity party -- it just doesn't matter.

    Thanks for reminding me.