Feel so insecure at the gym

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Replies

  • jennifer907
    jennifer907 Posts: 84 Member
    I 100% relate to what you're saying. Props to you for trying. My first day at the gym on machines, I literally got so uncomfortable that I sat by the entryway and waited until my gym buddy was able to leave. The next time I built up the courage to go, I fell on the treadmill about 3 minutes into my workout. So embarrassing! But honestly, whatever. It definitely can be an intimidating environment but everyone has to start somewhere. Those guys didn't start off lifting trucks. You & I have every right to be there as much as the next person. I recommend listening to some good music and just focus on yourself and try not to look at everyone else there. The gym is about you and it's a place to improve yourself. If you have a smartphone you should check out the Jefit app, BTW. It's free and has a ton of dumbbell exercises with little animations on how to do them. It definitely comes in handy if you're just starting out and not sure what to do. Good luck! :)
  • IronSmasher
    IronSmasher Posts: 3,908 Member
    I've been a casual observer of humans for some years now.



    They all feel insecure.

    They all worry about whether they are doing the right thing, and even if they KNOW they are doing the right thing, still worry that others (most often humans they don't even know) might judge it as the wrong thing.

    They all feel uncomfortable and nervous when trying something new.

    Once something is repeated several times and is no longer new, their confidence in the task and themselves is increased proportionally.

    ETA: I also have a hypothesis, that those individuals that repeatedly practise trying new things, become more confident in the concept/execution of trying new things.
  • Mario_Az
    Mario_Az Posts: 1,331 Member
    dude, go make some friends with those guys you see lifting ask for some advice from them i am sure those guys would help you out and then you won't feel like a fool cause they all now know you are new to it and need help they will help you and give you some tips then before you know it you will be doing some Presses to make those girls take off their dresses lol jk man just go have a good time man bodybuilding should enhance your life not take away from it. good luck man. don't give up or let anyone or anything stop you from your goals
  • soldiergrl_101
    soldiergrl_101 Posts: 2,205 Member
    Dont feel bad im right there with you I am extremely insecure at the gym
  • soysauce6626
    soysauce6626 Posts: 118 Member
    If you have the money I would hire a personal trainer just for a week to teach you the basics. Everyone has to start somewhere and believe me everyone is clueless when they first start. Don't let your insecurities stop you from reaching your goals. Be a alpha son!!
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    If you have the money I would hire a personal trainer just for a week to teach you the basics. Everyone has to start somewhere and believe me everyone is clueless when they first start. Don't let your insecurities stop you from reaching your goals. Be a alpha son!!

    i sort of agree. i was at my gym for a few months, doing what i could, learning, and figuring out what else i wanted to learn. i talked with the fitness manager and told him some of my goals, and he set me up with a young personal trainer that was outstanding. i told him my goals, and what i was looking for. basically i told him that i really wanted to work out my legs, and that i believed that if i did that, the rest would follow. his eyes lit up at that. he described himself as the "leg guy" at the gym, and he proved himself to me. no, he wasn't some jacked swoll guy, but definitely knew his stuff.

    and i bout a package that had me working out with him twice a month, for six months. you don't need to buy it so that he is your every day work out buddy.
  • alyhuggan
    alyhuggan Posts: 717 Member
    I was at the gym today and tried to watch them for a while. All I saw was a room full of men doing bicep curls, and a few guys my own age who were mostly talking and joking around.
    You are basically at a gym full of idiots who think they know what they are doing. For a start, weight does not matter. I can guarantee most of them will have awful form in their exercises for a start. Secondly, if they all just sit doing bicep curls you can tell that they are idiots. My local gym is awful and most people I see there go in, do some bicep exercises, do some ab exercises then do some leg extensions and then (usually in groups) pile on weight to see who can curl the most. It is pathetic. Personally I think most built up people who know what they are doing will be happy to help someone who approaches them as they have knowledge to share, whereas the meat head macho's only know how to bicep curl, avoid them, they have no idea what they are doing. A home gym is a good idea, I've spent quite a lot of my money from work on gym equipment but it has been worth it. From when I started my form on every exercise is so much better, the weight has went up to semi-respectable weights on most exercises and me and my friend now have people wanting to train with us as we have much more knowledge than before. We are planning on going to a decent commercial gym soon as we have the time. The one thing I personally am nervous to do is squats as we can't do them at the home gym which is a major set back, but for the most part home gyms are really good, especially for beginners, just don't go for dangerous PR's without a spot (e.g shoulder press, bench press, squats)
  • petquack
    petquack Posts: 4
    I know this a month old board topic ,but I had to respond anyways. I don't know what gym you go to maybe it's a high school gym ,but it sounds everyone there are there to show off and not workout. A real gym everyone respects each other and highly respect the ones who are fat and skinny that are just starting. I use to be 105 lbs in high school and now I compete fitness physique at 165 lbs, so I know where you are coming from. I see it everyday those guys that come in big groups try to lift more then what they can lift , wear those shirts with the long cut on the side that shows their stomach and chest and harass women . I know talk they talk crap about me because of jealousy and I don't care, so you lose either way.


    Everyone starts at the bottom ,even those meat heads you see talking crap. What's funny is what I noticed everyone who goes to the gym are deep down still unhappy a bit with their body ,that's why they keep returning. If you think about it if you were comfortable with yourself you'd stop going and let yourself go.

    Anyways long story short ,just change gyms . Small local gyms are good ones to join or do what I do put on headphones and ignore everything around you.

    good luck buddy
  • Melissa11412
    Melissa11412 Posts: 145 Member
    Most people feel like they are being stared at or judged while at the gym, but most likely there are few, if any, people who are actually watching you at all.

    this, mostly. when i see newer members or those that aren't lifting that much i'm usually thinking "good for them...yayyy" or something like that

    i've seen men benching/squatting the bar only and i have never had any kind of negative thought. maybe they're new, doing physical therapy, rehab, etc i do not know their story so why judge

    i do look at people lifting in between my own sets but it's mostly just looking at people because they're there to look at (and checking out cute guys of course LOL)

    so please get in there and do your thing OP
  • Alphastate
    Alphastate Posts: 295 Member
    It's not about the weight, its about the form.
  • swagoner94
    swagoner94 Posts: 220 Member
    I have felt that way. But all those dudes had to start somewhere... they weren't just born ripped. I suggest finding a buddy to go with you. I always felt more secure with someone. NOW i'm finally at a point where I can go by myself but a while ago that would never happen. Some free weight stuff... i'm dying to do but I'm by myself and don't touch. As soon as my dad is there or brother or whoever, I don't even need them to help me, it just makes me feel more secure and i have no problem doing it. You gotta stop caring what they think and use free weights. nothing is like free weights.
  • quellybelly
    quellybelly Posts: 827 Member
    I have felt, and still feel the same way! I know it's in my head and when there's too many people it affects my workout. The best solution for me is to wake up early and go to the gym right when it opens (for my gym, that's around 7am) when there are a lot less people around. There are probably 10 people tops in the weight room at that time and I feel a lot better and less insecure.

    In terms of form and stuff, watch videos on youtube or ask a friend who knows what they are doing. I'm still working on building my confidence at the gym but hey, everyone has got to start somewhere! Good luck :)
  • notenoughspeed
    notenoughspeed Posts: 290 Member
    Who gives a F what others think at the gym? You are there for you, not these other dudes. This is something you are going to have to overcome. I went through it, and got over it. You can too.
  • firefightingwoman2455
    firefightingwoman2455 Posts: 23
    I do to but I am lucky to go to a gym owned by the fire department my husband is a member of so there is no cost and it is rare that there is anyone there. However, last Saturday when we went, there were a couple police officers in there that are obviously there A LOT and my husband left me there to run a medical call. My worst nightmare... I thought. Turns out, they were super supportive about losing the weight and trying to better myself and even offered some pointers. Just remember that everyone has to start somewhere and they may not be as judgmental as you think... I agree with another poster, they are still working at it as well. Good luck! :smile:
  • Fithealthyforlife
    Fithealthyforlife Posts: 866 Member
    I started going a few weeks ago and am fairly ok at using the machines I want to use. I don't like people looking at me because a lot of the time, I'll be using about half the weight I've noticed most guys are doing. Still, there's instructions and it's easy to see what I'm meant to be doing. Likewise with cardio stuff - I've either built up some stamina or gotten better at pacing myself so that I can last longer, which is a good thing and I'm happy about that.

    But I wanted to try using free weights after hearing from a lot of people online that they're way better than the machines for building strength and stability. Doesn't really help that they're in a separate, sectioned-off area of the gym that's usually full of fairly macho guys. I, meanwhile, am 'skinny-fat' and very short and have no idea what I'm doing and am way too scared to interrupt anyone and ask.

    I was at the gym today and tried to watch them for a while. All I saw was a room full of men doing bicep curls, and a few guys my own age who were mostly talking and joking around. After a while I had the guts to go grab some dumbbells and attempt something resembling a bench press but with dumbbells, which seemed to get me a few raised eyebrows, so I left just as quickly as I came in. It's easy to find out exercises online that I could do, but actually going into a room full of people and attempting it in public is another thing entirely. I've got a massive fear of looking stupid and making a fool of myself, which I really feel like I did today. I'm even contemplating just forgetting the gym entirely and buying a few weights for myself, but have no idea if that's a sensible option either.

    You feel like this b/c you feel you don't fit in.

    There are two ways to impress people in the gym:

    -Lift lots of weight (that's out of the question for me right now, too), and/or be really ripped.

    -Have really good form and super calm, James Bond like attitude. This involves lifting slowly with excellent form, and having purposeful movements. This is always what I do. You, too, can one-up the heavy lifters in terms of form. If you do that, people WILL be impressed, regardless if you're lifting half the weight initially.

    A third way to impress people in the gym is to have a hot female workout partner wearing shorts that are three inches long and low-cut top showing her cleavage, lol. I actually did this for a little while at one point, and you should have seen the guys' heads turning, checking me out even when she was on the other side of the room for a few minutes (no homo). You'd think I was ripped or something. In reality, they're just thinking, "Man, I wish I was him right now!" or "Great score, man!" I always remember that experience and pretend like I'm with a girl now whenever I feel really self-conscious. Works every time.
  • jerber160
    jerber160 Posts: 2,607 Member
    for someone as out of shape as I am, I have trouble with all the remarks on 'form.' I mean, I'm not lifting anything heavy enough to get hurt and my picking anything up is better and more than I've done.
  • NSMustanggirl
    NSMustanggirl Posts: 70 Member
    it's pretty much all in your head. i know, because i was the same way.

    remind yourself that all the guys there started where you are now.

    remind yourself that they are their because they are still working on themselves.

    remind yourself that their work out is not your work out, and vice versa. concentrate on yourself.

    and if you really have a problem with it, go really early. thats what i did. at 530am, there is no one at my gym.

    THIS!!! I felt the exact same way, and dealt with it in the same way! A good 5:30 am is a great wake up! My caffeine intake has gone down! :)

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