Some people don't get it.

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Replies

  • janiebeth_68
    janiebeth_68 Posts: 2
    Hi. I'm new. Been reading your posts. Good points. I'm almost 40. Never had to worry about weight until this last year. Age does something negative to the body. I am not disciplined AT all and have the will power of a doorknob. hehe. Everyone says I look good and I'm skinny but I'm tall and can hide weight. I've gained 7 lbs in the last two months and am freaking out.

    To help keep fattening stuff out of the office......I asked everyone if they wanted to start a "Biggest Loser" contest because of the winter months coming up. If I don't have motivation or a goal, I just eat. It worked. All of us in the office weighed in last week. It's a daily struggle and has to be seen as a lifestyle, NOT a diet.

    Keep up your posts. I enjoy reading them. :wink:
  • janiebeth_68
    janiebeth_68 Posts: 2
    I get the same thing. Your skinny. My husband thinks I'm bulemic (?) because "I think I'm fat even though I'm not." It gets really old hearing all this.

    Don't let it get you down. Stay positive.
  • SKINNYPIG
    SKINNYPIG Posts: 25
    It sounds like you live in a great town. My whole family is very active but we live in New Jersey which does not have the beautiful scenery and mountains that are shown in your picture. That's great that you and your significant other can enjoy the outdoors so much. I'm jealous of that!! And it's much more fun to work off the calories by being active than to skip something you really want to eat.:smile:
  • filergirl
    filergirl Posts: 240
    I hate to be the one to bring this up, but there are some people out there who *don't* want to see you succeed. Competition comes into play in terms of people's motivations more often than I'd like to admit. I've seen it a lot with women who all work in an office together. . .
  • Lorivan
    Lorivan Posts: 7
    This can be an interesting conversation to navigate. I have one friend in particular who doesn't seem to get it.

    When we met, bless he heart she was about 100 or so pounds over weight. I have never struggled with very large amounts of extra weight but as other have stated - you don't know what I look like in my skivies.:noway:

    I admit and am thankful that I carry my weight very well but have always wanted to "get in shape" and by that I just want to be healthier! If that means dropping 10-15 pounds from my 155 pound frame then so be it. (I'm 5'7")

    Now this friend of mine joined a gym earlier this year, hired a trainer, and a diet coach. She is doing incredibly well, looks amazing and seems to be much happier! I am VERY proud of her.:drinker:

    At the same time - I kinda feel like she puts me down. When I told her that she had inspired me with her healthy living and I was going to take steps to do the same her response was "Oh whatever, you're skinny already" in a very negative tone of voice.:brokenheart:

    I don't really understand her attitude - I don't take it personally but it bums me out when she talks that way!:sad:

    All in all I'm still proud of her! And now of myself! :flowerforyou:

    I am large like your friend. I really need to lose about 100 lbs. It is daunting to think about and extremely hard to get up the motivation to get the ball rolling and sticking to it ! It is a hard road always being big. We can't wear our clothes just the right way to hide anything. If we were given a chance to have your body for a week we would absolutely LOVE the way we look in our underwear ...we would probably want to show people too ! I think the attitude comes from thinner people seeming to be ungrateful for the body they have. I mean if you really think about it how would you feel it you were 100 lbs over weight and some one says to you gee if I drop 10 to 15 lbs that would be great if not then thats ok too ? That is frustrating to us. We would love to have your body exactly the way it is. You seem to be happy with your weight and really just want to adopt a healthier life style, that is a fabulous thing to do ! Being obese sucks hard. Trying to get rid of the fat that loves us sucks hard too. I think your friends attitude comes from her having to fight so hard to get anywhere close to where you already are and she might be a little jealous. I know I get that way and yeah I know it is hard work for you too, it just appears not to be as hard for you. Good luck in your journey and to your friend as well. :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • filergirl
    filergirl Posts: 240
    Let me interject this on behalf of "relatively skinny people who hate their bodies" :

    To trade bodies with someone, you'd also be getting their psyche, their deepest insecurities and fears -- all that messy emotional stuff that is intangible on the outside but very real on the inside.

    So, if I'm 130 lbs and I still don't like the way I look, you can't possibly know what that feels like. You can't say you'd want my 130-lb mind. On the other side of the equation, though I have an idea of what it's like to feel fat, and to be slightly overweight, I have no idea what it's like to be really overweight.

    I've always been of the opinion it's pretty much pointless to speculate about people's emotions: you can never really know what someone's thinking unless they tell you. Which is why, as someone wisely pointed out in another thread, listening is so very important.
  • bigdane321
    bigdane321 Posts: 233 Member
    Wow!!!

    Reading everyones post on this subject has been en lighting. Maybe it's not that they don't get it. Perhaps it is more about their insecurities, jealousies and motivation. The more I think about it, the comments that fly at us are really not about us at all it about them. I think I will listen more closely to what is behind the comment instead of taking it personally. I'm pretty sure what I will find is just more resolve why I need to stay strong in my belief that I'm on the right path for me.

    Stay positive everyone
  • Paeonia
    Paeonia Posts: 161
    It really is all about how you feel...whether you're 20 lbs overweight or 100 lbs overweight, theres no way anyone else can tell you how to feel about yourself. For example, my sister in law is very slender...she's probably underweight now. She used to be right on the lower cusp of what her healthy weight should be, then she decided to drop 10 lbs because her "belly poked out". She showed me what she meant, it was like.... :noway: What are you talking about?! But SHE felt fat with that teensy weensy little bit of extra chub on her belly, even though no one else thought that of her.

    Now me, I need to lose 20 lbs. To someone who needs to lose 100 lbs, they would probably look at me the same way I look at my sister in law...but its all relative to the person...If you feel fat and are unhappy with yourself, how can you judge that about someone else? I have never been more than 30 lbs overweight in my life, but I'm also very small in stature so 30 lbs on me is more than it would be on a larger person...but even though its "only" 20 lbs I have left to lose, its still extremely difficult to get motivated and lose the weight. I also think those last 10-15 lbs are probably the hardest to shed, your body seems to want to hang onto it badly :cry:

    As to why people put you down for your weight loss efforts, I really do agree that some people don't like to see others succeed where they have failed. Or if its the case of a friend who's lost weight and now their friend is also losing weight, maybe it becomes an issue of competition or perhaps that friend was feeling superior for having lost the weight...I dunno, its sad really.
  • pecksun8
    pecksun8 Posts: 570
    It's old...but

    *Bump*
  • KrisKabob
    KrisKabob Posts: 1,250 Member
    It's old...but

    *Bump*

    Old but motivating... thanks for the *B*U*M*P*!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • tamrajd
    tamrajd Posts: 86
    This is really what I needed today. My fav coment is when people say, you're just not any fun anymore ! My Family has decided to change our life style and eat as much organic and healthy as possible but yet manage to splurge on special times. We have a 16 year old son who battles weight issues he has really learned to take control and form good eating habits because of the life style change. I started losing weight first then my husband joined me and our son soon decided he was ready. we all look and feel much better. I love this site!:smile:
  • mommared53
    mommared53 Posts: 9,543 Member
    Those are great answers Bigdane. Maybe eventually they'll get it. In the mean time you and your wife keep up the good work. :flowerforyou:

    Betty
  • ali106
    ali106 Posts: 3,754 Member
    oh wow Big Dane....you rock!!!:glasses:

    hope all is going well...and I'm so glad someone bumped this....I needed the laugh and motivation!!!

    hugs!
    Ali
  • shorerider
    shorerider Posts: 3,817 Member
    I've gotten some looks and comments from people but not about my "diet" but about my bike riding.

    People will say, "I saw you riding. good for you!" and ask how far I rode that day. when I say, "oh 20 miles" or "oh 30 miles" or "oh 40 miles", people look at me like I've gone completely nuts! In fact, I think that some people at my church are concerned that I'm riding too far--one lady remarked that 40 miles was just way too far, "especially in this heat and at your age" LOL. God love them! They're just worried I guess but I'm proud of how far I can ride now.

    Just wait until they find out I'm planning to do that 60 mile ride in October or until I finally get my Century (100 miles) ride done!
  • fitsharon
    fitsharon Posts: 137 Member
    I have about 5 pounds to go and the comments I seem to get are why do you still go to the gym you look good. I saw some of my family that I haven't seen for a few months this weekend and a few of them told me I look nice but a couple of them told me I look so skinny that I look SICK. Obviously these family members are on the heavier side, but I found that very rude. It took everything in me to just say thank you and walk away, because there was a lot of rude things that I could of have said back!! :angry:
  • Fit2btied
    Fit2btied Posts: 486
    My family is the worst...old habits die hard! Everyone loves to sit around nibbling, and my mother is offended if I don't go back for seconds at meals. Very frustrating! People resist change and want things to be like they always have been before. It's hard to resist commenting to the rude remarks made by others, but I liked your creative responses! Keep it up and run circles around them:wink: And good luck in your pursuit of a healthy lifestyle!
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