What is wrong with me? I am back where I started...again...

melissa3324
melissa3324 Posts: 33 Member
in Motivation and Support
A couple months ago I was really into dieting and exercising for a couple months. I had lost about 9-15 lbs. I was so proud of myself.

Then towards the end of May, beginning of June I started to fall back into my old habits of binge eating while on the computer and eating fast food. Went travelling for 3 weeks earlier this month so a lot of my food consisted of fast food and gas station food. Sometimes I would get a salad from wal-mart or something and put no dressing on it but the next day went back to the fast food and gas station food, justifying it since I needed the "energy" and the carbs would fill me up and a salad wouldn't.

Now I am back home and have no excuse not to diet. Took 2 hours cutting up lettuce and spinach and all that good stuff for salad. But haven't touched the salad at all instead eating processed crap.

I do not feel motivated at all, and I do not know how to get that motivation I had a few months ago back. I fear that this pattern will just repeat itself again, in a few months. I was so strong a few months ago, I kept telling myself that I would stick with it.

Ultimately I failed, again. This process has been going on since I was a teenager.

How can I recover from this disappointment again? How can I get myself motivated? How can I stick with it, and not go back to my horrible habits?

I know this happens to other people but it does not stop me from feeling very ashamed. That is part of the reason why I have not started again. I am very ashamed of myself. I am hoping that since I came back here, maybe I will start to feel motivated again.

Replies

  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
    Maybe open your diary and start being accountable by getting feedback
  • queenbree13
    queenbree13 Posts: 89 Member
    I've been in your shoes, soooo many times. I've even told myself that I was okay with the weight I was at.. I am definitely not.

    My last weight loss was from January to September and it wasn't even much of an effort and I lost 35lbs. After the holidays hit, I gained 15. So I am now trying to lose the 15 plus about 60 more.

    I always get to a point where I am motivated and I mess up and screw myself over. Don't think of it as a diet, as cliche as it sounds, it's a life style change. I remember how happy I was at 245. 245! That's still overweight and I was happy. Just imagine if I pushed harder! YOU CAN DO THIS.

    The great thing is that you KNOW that you need a change. Posting this was a great first step. My greatest advice is try new, healthy recipes! I love cooking! So a new recipe keeps me motivated!

    Feel free to add me. I'll try to motivate you to the best of my ability (:

    I'm Briana.
  • sadshah
    sadshah Posts: 3
    Dont worry im just like you, now i figure something for me u also do this ,daily read success stories and before and after pics with them ,they keep u motivated,dont give up...start again!,
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,026 Member
    It's because you're dieting to lose weight. Dieting is temporary since once you go off it, you regain. Learn calorie control for lifestyle change.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • 24redwine
    24redwine Posts: 43
    Maybe you just don't like salad that much! Or put some chicken breast on it so you will feel more satisfied. If you try to force yourself to eat things you are supposed to like, you will feel deprived and not stay on track. Find healthy and satisfying foods you love. Be sure to exercise several times per week -- then you will feel empowered and earn more calories. Plan your meals ahead as much as you can so that corner stores and fast food places are not so tempting. You got some good advice from others -- don't think so much about diet or weight loss -- think about health and fitness.
  • DoctorCheeba
    DoctorCheeba Posts: 28
    I was very similar to you and was chubby to overweight my whole live until last year... I was addicted to food and I couldn't stop. To be honest with you, this whole weight-loss and fitness thing took me 4 different tries to master. Of trying and failing, trying and failing, trying and failing, etc... You need to want it. You need to want it more then anything. You need to be so f****ing fed up with how you feel that change is the only way. Look at people you would like to be in similar shape to, watch fitness youtube videos you can relate to, they motivated me!

    But most importantly, track every god damn thing you eat! Eventually you will get sick of disappointing yourself when you see your calories, fat and carbs your taking in... I eventually did.

    *Most importantly, as said above, this is not a diet! This is a life style! Treat yourself once a week to a meal of your choice only when you know you've been good. Eat healthy foods you enjoy!*
  • AdviDaddy
    AdviDaddy Posts: 207 Member
    Well... been there, experienced that! I lost 30 lbs in the last 4-5 months but gained a few back after a 'lazy' 3 week break.

    Now I am struggling to get back to my 'exercise pattern'. Its not easy, but I have started to do it in baby-steps. That works for me. See what works for you.

    Humming 'Eye of the Tiger' when we all are motivated is not difficult, lol. Singing it now and hitting the gym when we don't have an iota of motivation - that makes the difference.

    So, fake it till you make it.

    Good luck!
  • jurgie18
    jurgie18 Posts: 150 Member
    I have been there. I have learned its all in your head. You can't talk yourself out of it. Push through it you will succeed. Good luck! :happy:
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    I suppose you're probably satisfied with the shape you're in now. If you want to change, you'll change.
  • booksgiver
    booksgiver Posts: 147 Member
    I suspect that a lot of us on the weight loss journey have had this same experience. I know I've had it so many times and gained back more after each failure that it made even beginning a healthy change a difficult problem for me. I kept thinking that I was doomed to be a constant yo-yo dieter and so I allowed my weight to creep up into the morbid obese range. The point is that there is no failure as long as we try, and keep trying. This is no small matter and the fact that so many Americans are obese validates this. There's nothing wrong with you, you're probably a normal person who responds to all the food triggers we're surrounded with constantly.u e Just keep trying and know that every day you eat right is a major win for you. It's a fight and at my age, I finally understand that this is a matter of life and death.
  • blytheandbonnie
    blytheandbonnie Posts: 3,275 Member
    Perhaps part of your problem is you think either you eat junk or only 'salad, no dressing'. It's hard to accept the notion that there are no bad foods, just bad portion control. Start looking at recipes for healthier food. Try new things. Enjoy some of the 'bad' now and then, but try to eat mostly nutrient dense, whole foods. As you learn what you like, you can start expanding your menu more and more and pretty soon you find that you enjoy the 'good' food a lot. You can always have the 'junk food' as a treat now and then.
    When I started, it was overwhelming. I kept thinking 'gawd, I can never have fries again' (or chips, or ice cream or pizza...) But I can. just not all the time and all at once. Don't get me wrong, I fall down. It's hard to sustain that initial gung-ho feeling, but now it's more of a habit (after 19 months) so it's easier to keep the momentum going. Just keep plugging away. You'll get there. you really do just have to want it bad enough.
  • Katla49
    Katla49 Posts: 10,385 Member
    It's because you're dieting to lose weight. Dieting is temporary since once you go off it, you regain. Learn calorie control for lifestyle change.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness industry for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    This is absolutely correct. You need to make changes that you can live with forever, or you'll experience the frustration again and again. At this point I'm eating all of the foods I really love, but I'm using portion control and keeping within my allowed calories. I have dropped some foods, like potato chips, that are just not worth the calories to me. I haven't reached my goals yet, but I'm feeling successful and making good decisions. You can succeed, just like you did once before, if you don't go back to old, self-destructive habits.

    Good luck.
  • zdanr
    zdanr Posts: 3 Member
    I have discovered that it is impossible to diet and really have success by living on abnormal foods and salads with near zero nutritional value. I am having steady slow weight loss without suffering every day. The secret to staying motivated is to plan your diet while using smaller amounts of foods similar to what you eat every day, while keeping and adequate number of carbs, calories, and fats to keep your appetite at bay. My preference is to focus mainly on the carbohydrates. If you make sure that you eat three meals that have around 40grams of carbs each meal and two snacks with 20 grams of carbs for each snack, it spreads your energy absorption and nutrients out better, so you don't feel like you are starving and it helps to maintain a good level of nutrition. I also try to eat unprocessed foods and very few grains, both offer a lot of calories, fats, carbs, and low nutrients. I am also very careful not to get high fat or high calorie foods, like breads, desserts, and candies. My favorite substitutes for a high calorie dessert is one cup of frozen yogurt, which I dish up into the one cup storage containers when I am not hungry or one cup of frozen, unsweetened applesauce with cinnamon. My Fitness Pal has been outstanding in helping me to count calories, carbs, and fats and to meet all of these goals.
  • JRSchumaker
    JRSchumaker Posts: 93 Member
    It's because you're dieting to lose weight. Dieting is temporary since once you go off it, you regain. Learn calorie control for lifestyle change.


    QFT.

    When I lost the first time I was on a diet. I promptly gained it all back when I went off of my diet. My "diet" now includes pizza, beer, and chocolate...in moderation like everything else I eat and the exercise I do. I will NOT be going back this time, and you can do the same!
  • melissa3324
    melissa3324 Posts: 33 Member
    The thing is I cannot have junk food in the house or I will eat it all. It is easier to not get any junk food at all so late at night, there's no temptation. Well, there's temptation, but nothing to eat.

    I don't think I have any self control at all.
  • chelseybennett1
    chelseybennett1 Posts: 275 Member
    All my failed attempts at dieting were my misunderstanding that all I could eat were salads and carrots. That's no fun! You can eat whatever you want just watch your portions and measure everything. For example, instead of eating a whole box of mac and cheese for lunch, measure out a serving and serve it with some veggies on the side. If you know how to cook there are many recipes online. Also many lower calorie options for a lot of the food I'm sure you enjoy. I've enjoyed trying different veggies and looking up how to cook them online. Try a lot of variety so you don't get bored. And finally take pride in cooking healthfully for yourself instead of relying on the fast food for every meal.
  • zdanr
    zdanr Posts: 3 Member
    I allow myself one "junk food" on my fat Friday. I will eat one small, normal serving of whatever I have craved the most during the week. I was routinely getting a small milkshake for the first month or two on Friday. At first, I used this escape weekly, then it got so it was no longer necessary. It helps to know that you can have a "naughty" food every once in awhile, but you have to still use some self-control or you can gain back an entire week's weight loss in one huge pigout....that is definitely not worth it!
  • peggymdellinger
    peggymdellinger Posts: 151 Member
    I keep telling myself that I DO NOT want to do this again. I DO NOT want to diet. I want to be healthy and that means changing my life. I AM NOT on a diet. I am going to be the best "me" that I can possibly be and that means taking care of my body. You are the most important person in your life. Take care of yourself, love yourself, DO NOT diet, fuel your body, work your body... it's the only one you'll ever have!
  • whitenurseshoes
    whitenurseshoes Posts: 7 Member
    Try not to beat yourself up,I am currently going through a similar situation.I just try my best each day,record everything I eat and try to exercise:drinker: Good Luck. Whitenurseshoes
  • fitluigy
    fitluigy Posts: 1
    I suppose you're probably satisfied with the shape you're in now. If you want to change, you'll change.
    Edited by taso42 On July 24, 2013 4:44 pm

    To the above... I am pretty sure she isn't satisfied with her shape or she wouldn't be so upset with getting off track.:smile:
    For some people being unhappy with the shape is not enough to make the weight loss an easy process.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    I suppose you're probably satisfied with the shape you're in now. If you want to change, you'll change.
    Edited by taso42 On July 24, 2013 4:44 pm

    To the above... I am pretty sure she isn't satisfied with her shape or she wouldn't be so upset with getting off track.:smile:
    For some people being unhappy with the shape is not enough to make the weight loss an easy process.

    difference of belief systems. belief system is everything.
  • astartig
    astartig Posts: 549 Member
    Why do you want to lose weight? Vanity? health? for yourself, for others? (as a note, I haven't looked at your profile, I have no idea how much you want to lose or need to lose or whatever, I am talking in general here)

    that's what you have to keep in your mind as you're doing it. What do you want? If deep down for some reason you don't want to lose why is it? why are you sabotaging yourself? I've known people who were afraid to be in relationships so they gained so they would feel like they had an excuse not to be in one (for instance) at the root of it, it's all psychological. Find the root issue and solve the problem.


    your health is ultimately the most important thing imho. Even if you can't get motivated to diet as such try to cut out things like junk food. don't eat fast food.. period. Go watch some behind the scenes footage of how it's made. Something anything but that is a good place to start. Take whole grain bread and peanut butter or cheese on the road with you if you're travelling and have a quick sandwich instead of road food. Diets don't have to be about salads with no dressing. there is so much more you can have. But if you rely too much on fast food or processed food you're sabotaged from the get go.

    (all in my ever so humble opinion of course)

    Another important thing. lose the shame. lose the negative feelings. if something is making you feel negative get rid of it. you're ok, you're not bad you're not shameful. you are you and whatever that is it's really ok. try not to let negative feed back be your motivation because it's never going to take you the full road. find a positive reason to encompass change. do it because you're wonderful and you deserve to fit in your favorite jeans and not be at risk for this that adn the other disease.
  • melissa3324
    melissa3324 Posts: 33 Member
    I think what I need to do is be more active on here. Read other's people's posts and blogs. And yes, start my own so I can be held accountable. I don't have much support in real life and it is real easy to feel very alone in this. I am already starting to feel a tiny bit better.
  • peggymdellinger
    peggymdellinger Posts: 151 Member
    “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

    Love yourself!
  • AJHornik
    AJHornik Posts: 58 Member
    I am going to add you if that's ok?! I am going through something similar. Lost 18lbs, had a miscarriage and fell off the band wagon. Gained 8lbs back. I need to find the power to re-commit and stick to it.. Not sure where that power is hiding. :grumble:

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