Totally down in the dumps!

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Kminor67
Kminor67 Posts: 900 Member
in Motivation and Support
Today is a rough day. I have a hard time every year on Sept. 8th. Today is my friend Clarissa's birthday. When we were 19 years old, she went home for spring break, and told her dad that she wasn't feeling well and she was just exhausted. He took her to the doctor, and she was diagnosed with Acute Leukemia. She died two weeks later. Ever since, this day has been awful for me.

I'm just having such a rough emotional day, and what I really want to do is eat comfort food. I can't do that because it would be sabotaging myself, and I don't want that, but mashed potatoes and gravy is sounding really good. I know if I do it it will just make me feel worse. This sucks!

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can get through this day without binging?

Replies

  • ppennington
    ppennington Posts: 54
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    Here's an idea........think about what your friend Clarissa would want you to do. Would she want you to eat badly and be sad and upset at yourself as well or would she like for you to spend this day reflecting on all the wonderful times you had together and the sweet memories you have of her. Be happy that she was a part of your life and someday you will be reunited and when that happens she'll say "damn girl, you look good !!!!"

    I've found help is always available on this site and hurrah for you for asking!
  • jalc
    jalc Posts: 5
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    Very sorry to hear you are so blue. It sounds like you have been sad about this issue for many years. I am sure that your friend would not want you to be sad or self destructive.

    I know there is not a one size fits all solution. I like to be in the out doors. I particularly like beautifiul natural scenery. I dont know where you live but you might consider a peaceful walk.

    I also find my dog to be a very soothing companion. If you dont have a pet, you might consider getting one. They come in all shapes, sizes and activity levels. Pick one that suits your lifestyle.

    Finally, if this is truly a sadness you cannot seem to escape, you might conisder talking to a counselor or therapist. There is absolutely nothing wrong with getting help.

    I hope and pray that you feel happier soon. Life is too short to be sad.
  • Gidget86
    Gidget86 Posts: 45
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    Kminor67 I'm so sorry for the loss of your friend.
    Try to think about what she would want for you today, she would want you to be strong and do the best for yourself in rememberence of her.

    Bless you today to be stong and healthy!
  • NicoleGB
    NicoleGB Posts: 4
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    Emotional eating for comfort is a tough thing to break no doubt. Yesterday I found myself in exact that situation after getting one thing added to the plate that was already full. My first reaction once I put the kids down at night was to go feed that emotion. I used self talk to get through and kept busy. Knowing that you are an emotional eater is the first step into changing that. Have a list of things you can do instead of eating that you can pullout when needed and eventually they will be more automatic.
  • KimSchnizleinWECHANGED
    KimSchnizleinWECHANGED Posts: 189
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    I know that my reply will draw no applause, but I just don't see the problem with allowing yourself a little comfort in the form of food. That doesn't mean you throw caution to the wind and fill an entire plate with mashed potatoes and gravy, but 1 cup isn't going to sabotage your goal or your day. I am a psychologist/counselor, and I know that there are other professionals out there that would say that my degree should be snatched away for this advice. I also agree with the idea that you should take time to consider what this day is all about, and search for a way to deal with the loss. There's a group called GriefShare that you can get info about online, and as a person that has had a significant loss in her life, and went through this program .... I highly recommend it for you. If you want info on it .... You and I are friends on MFP ... Just inbox me.
  • mindymoe1
    mindymoe1 Posts: 65
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    if it were me i would workout. it always mekes you feel good,will keep your mind busy and you will feel proud afterwards.
  • susiewusie
    susiewusie Posts: 432 Member
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    Here's an idea........think about what your friend Clarissa would want you to do. Would she want you to eat badly and be sad and upset at yourself as well or would she like for you to spend this day reflecting on all the wonderful times you had together and the sweet memories you have of her. Be happy that she was a part of your life and someday you will be reunited and when that happens she'll say "damn girl, you look good !!!!"

    I've found help is always available on this site and hurrah for you for asking!

    So sorry for your sad loss ,think this is brilliant advice ,thinking of you today xxxx
  • rjmalovany
    rjmalovany Posts: 12 Member
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    El Pollo Loco has really tasty mashed potatoes that are really not too bad for you. And it's a small, contained serving. Probably not even real potatoes, but the kick the craving for me! But like others have said, making a better choice is probably going to make you feel better than eating the mashed potatoes.

    Something I have a hard time remembering sometimes . . . it's OKAY to be sad and have a bad day. Just don't let it keep your from your future.
  • YourFriendBecky
    YourFriendBecky Posts: 229
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    I agree with Kim. There are sometimes days in the year when weight loss shouldn't be your top priority... your emotional well-being should come first. So do whatever makes you feel better, to celebrate your friend and the friendship you shared... eat something you guys used to eat together, play some music you might have listened to together, look at old photos, maybe plant a little minature rosebush in her honor... anything that will make you feel better (and I for one believe that she will be watching and will smile).

    Becky
  • KeriA
    KeriA Posts: 3,276 Member
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    I think you already took the 1st and best step by reaching out, and by writing down how you feel and not burying your feelings. Feelings can be dealt with in a healthier way when we acknowledge them it is when we ignore them that they take control. So take all the time you need to identify the feelings and what they mean to you. Then I think you will be able to move toward what you think would be the best response to this sadness. I do not think one day will sabotage a week of work but this is an oppportunity to start to make sure you continue to take the step you did by writng this post and expressing your feelings by finding your way of honoring this relationship and your wonderful love of this friend in a way that heals. I think you are very brave to reach out like this. Know that we are here with you as best that we can. We aren't suppose to have all ups we just have to know how to go through both ups and downs the best we can. Take care :flowerforyou:
  • chelekaz
    chelekaz Posts: 871 Member
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    I am so sorry. I truly understand the loss that you feel having a loved one taken so suddenly and without any pre-warnings. My father had the same symptoms. The hospital kept sending him home. Finally he was admitted with Acute Mylocytic Leukemia. His doc ran a CBC and found his counts all messed up. Unfortunately the three times my father was in the ER they drew blood work but never ran it. He passed within 5 weeks; never making it home from the hospital.

    That was 10 years ago. I still feel the ache every day. His birthday is the day after Christmas and I always feel better just remembering all of the good times that we had. I also try to do something that he would have loved.

    The best way to honor her, is to remember her. Celebrate her life, do not mourn her death; as hard and trite as that sounds.
    I'm here if you need someone... :flowerforyou:
  • Kminor67
    Kminor67 Posts: 900 Member
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    Thanks so much everyone. Clarissa was my best childhood friend, and my college roommate. We spent many nights over at each other's houses, and had lots of fun together. On her 13th birthday, she broke her arm riding my bicycle and flirting with my neighbor. Later, I consoled her through her parents' divorce and she reciprocated the favor 3 years later. This has always been a hard day for me. No decisions on what I'm going to do about it yet. I'm still wanting to make a huge vat of mashed potatoes and just dive in. I appreciate all of your caring thoughts and responses. It means a lot to me.

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