wish hed' keep his comments to himself

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2

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  • whitebalance
    whitebalance Posts: 1,655 Member
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    I would explain to him that slow, steady weight loss will make you look good naked too. :smokin:
  • labeachgirl
    labeachgirl Posts: 158 Member
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    At the rate he's going, he should just be happy if you're willing to put the rings back on once you've lost the weight. :huh:

    Do what's healthy and will keep the weight off for good, which is the slow and steady route.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    ouch youre trying and he's not encouraging you to be healthy. What happened to for better or worse? What would happen if you had to go on steroids and gained a ton of weight? If his daughter becomes heavy will he make mean comments to her?

    I dont know this could spell troubles down the road for your marriage.
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
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    I hope he's a really great guy in other ways because this completely sucks! If you've told him to keep quiet and let you do the work, and he won't, you might try parroting. Whenever he makes a comment, always give him the same reply; whatever you want to say.
    Examples:
    "I got this."
    "Thanks for your input, now go away."
    "lalalalala; I don't have to listen to this" (while covering ears)

    Whatever works for you. They usually get tired of this and leave you alone.
  • Faye_Anderson
    Faye_Anderson Posts: 1,495 Member
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    I'm assuming that last time you lost weight quickly you gained it back again? Is that what he wants? A yo-yo dieter? Or does he want you to get thin and healthy the right way and be able to maintain a weight loss? Maybe you should show him some of the responses you get :flowerforyou:
  • Melissa22G
    Melissa22G Posts: 847 Member
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    You could always say you don't feel pretty enough to have sex.

    This seems to work for some women, but on a more serious note- you just had a baby! That's amazing and wonderful and are still breast feeding- focus on the little one, you'll get back to your old weight healthily.
  • cherryd69
    cherryd69 Posts: 340
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    He likes me to be slim, I always have been even after having children. Think i was just in a bad place after the wedding which caused me to binge, but with out the purging i would have done when younger.

    He says it annoys him more that my wedding rings are too small, which i totally get, but i don't just want to lose weight i want to try and get fitter as well.

    1) get the rings re-sized
    2) tell him to shut it, your doing it at your pace.. not his.

    2lbs a week weight loss is great work :) keep it up
  • AbigailsLuvie
    AbigailsLuvie Posts: 1
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    Dear one, losing weight is hard, but doing it without the encouragement of the one most dear to you makes it even that much harder! So, for now, rely on your inner joy over your accomplishments and the cheers from your fellow sojourners on mfp. Your hubby will come around...for now just keep assuring him that you are doing the best you can. Please don't allow his negativity to foil your health keep-the-weight-off plan.
  • retirehappy
    retirehappy Posts: 4,752 Member
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    me to binge, but with out the purging i would have done when younger.l.

    That is Bulimia, a nasty disease. If you have pulled yourself out of that cycle you are a strong woman. Stand up to him.

    Tell him his attitude towards healthy weight loss is annoying you.
    Does he expect you to purge to loose faster? That is a serious health problem. Women who purge have high risk of cancer of the esophagus and stomach, both very dangerous forms of cancer.

    Does he want you to see your kids grow up? Then he should just shut up and let you learn to be the fit, healthy, and beautiful woman you are meant to be.
  • MrsSWW
    MrsSWW Posts: 1,590 Member
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    At the rate he's going, he should just be happy if you're willing to put the rings back on once you've lost the weight. :huh:
    Well said!
  • juiletflt
    juiletflt Posts: 159
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    This post makes me so sad. That fact that he "likes you to be slim" and that you feel pressure to fulfill that breaks my heart. If he was making comments because he was concerned about your health, that would be one thing, but just because he likes you to look a certain way is not ok in my book.

    You need to be loosing weight and getting healthy for YOU. This pressure is just setting you up for long-term failure. I understand the wedding ring thing, because the symbol it implies, but if that is the true issue then either have the rings re-sized or wear them on a necklace for now.

    This makes me feel so thankful for my man. Yes, he encourages me and calls me out when I slip, but he does that because he knows I want to be healthy. He still tells me that I am beautiful just the way I am and makes me feel special every day. You should not feel that you have to be 'slim' in order to get his love and affection.
  • lisaabenjamin
    lisaabenjamin Posts: 665 Member
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    Sorry but...your husband sounds like a d*ck.
  • airforcewife1007
    airforcewife1007 Posts: 35 Member
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    My hubby is kinda the opposite. He doesn't push me to lose the weight, but he pushes me to eat healthy and exercise. Sometimes it gets on my nerves because he knows I hate to exercise, and I really want to do this at my own pace. He thinks I should be looking at a goal date...like I should lose my 150 pounds in a year or whatever. That's not going to work for me right now, because I want to lose the weight and keep it off, not lose it and gain it back. So do what I do, and tell him to shut the hell up. It's hard enough trying to change your habits without others always pressuring you and telling you what to do. Tell your husband like I tell mine: you married me for better or worse, in sickness and in health, so get over it. If you aren't happy, get out :) Good luck!
  • annelisehagar
    annelisehagar Posts: 4 Member
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    You're are doing so well. From what I know you shouldn't lose more than 2 pounds a week. For a lasting change, take it a day at a time. And even though it's a slow process you just have to remind yourself that you're doing this for yourself to be healthier. Don't make it about the numbers. And don't let your husband either.
  • benjib84
    benjib84 Posts: 125
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    The fact that you ONLY have the option on this site to aim for a mximum of 2lbs a week shows that any more than that is unhealthy and a little pointless.......


    You are doing well and he should know that!

    :)
    i got married a year ago and was the perfect UK size 12, after the wedding i binged a lot and am now a size 14- 16.

    the last month or so i have been really good with eating properly and doing regular exercise and lost around 9lb since i have been tracking and probably more in total as didn't start tracking my weight for a few weeks.

    my hubbie doesn't seem happy with my progress and thinks i should be losing the weight quicker. I am happy losing 1-2lbs a week as i think i will keep it off this way, he keeps on comparing to when i lost a lot of weight after having my daughter and didn't really eat much plus breast feeding which gave me a dramatic weight loss.

    I know it annoys him that i cant fit my wedding rings on, which is due to weight gain but also getting them stuck on a door handle and having to have them cut off, but his comments really get me down. I feel that I'm doing really well and i just feel horrible after he puts me down.

    Is any one else in the same boat, should i be losing more weight quicker than i am??
  • kenmunson333
    kenmunson333 Posts: 51 Member
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    I know the feeling! Losing at the rate of 1-2 pounds/week is a safe, healthy rate outside of surgical intervention. My wife always felt I should have been losing weight at the rate of 10 pounds a week or more. And then she'd sabotage my diet whenever I did lose weight. So, yeah losing weight is one of the most challenging things you can do. The important thing to realize is that when you really want to lose weight, you do it for yourself not someone else. And then you find friends who will support you.
  • TLCorsini
    TLCorsini Posts: 78
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    OH NO! I'm so sorry this is happening to you! You are losing weight at the recomended speed, no worries. Slow and steady wins the race. If he wants to know "Why" then tell him that if you were to lose all of it really fast, then the chance of you actually keeping it off is much lower. You are not just losing weight, but making a lifestyle change and that takes time! Your spouse should be your partner and try and help you and not hinder you, im sorry :( I Can totally relate about the wedding ring stuff tho! I just got married 3 weeks ago and I have an engagement ring and a wedding ring, and when the wedding ring is put on with the engagement ring, it squished everything up super tight and my finger started turning purple. I watched my sodium and dieted hoping the bloating would go down, because I live in CA and it had been 100+ degrees the whole month before my wedding! My husband wasn't exactly thrilled either! I ended up being able to wear the rings for the wedding and honeymoon but when we got back, I got them resized and now all is well!
  • rhinesb
    rhinesb Posts: 204 Member
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    I hope he's a really great guy in other ways because this completely sucks! If you've told him to keep quiet and let you do the work, and he won't, you might try parroting. Whenever he makes a comment, always give him the same reply; whatever you want to say.
    Examples:
    "I got this."
    "Thanks for your input, now go away."
    "lalalalala; I don't have to listen to this" (while covering ears)

    Whatever works for you. They usually get tired of this and leave you alone.
    I've had to do this before and it does work for sure. LOL...annoys the ever living crap out of them though. However they are saying stupid stuff in the first place so it is really par for course.
  • SailorKnightWing
    SailorKnightWing Posts: 875 Member
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    It sounds like he's trying to justify his pushing because you can't wear the wedding rings, which presumably cost him a lot of money. Try wearing them as a necklace until you complete your current, totally reasonable weight loss plan and can wear them on your finger again. That way everyone can see them, know you're married, and he'll have to come up with another reason to push you to lose weight: depending on the new reason, you may or may not have deeper marital problems.
  • littlepinkhearts
    littlepinkhearts Posts: 1,055 Member
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    You really need to put yourself first in this case. Lose the weight at a safe rate for you. You're doing great. Keep at it. He'll just have to deal with it.

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