wish hed' keep his comments to himself

This post makes me so sad. That fact that he "likes you to be slim" and that you feel pressure to fulfill that breaks my heart. If he was making comments because he was concerned about your health, that would be one thing, but just because he likes you to look a certain way is not ok in my book.

You need to be loosing weight and getting healthy for YOU. This pressure is just setting you up for long-term failure. I understand the wedding ring thing, because the symbol it implies, but if that is the true issue then either have the rings re-sized or wear them on a necklace for now.

This makes me feel so thankful for my man. Yes, he encourages me and calls me out when I slip, but he does that because he knows I want to be healthy. He still tells me that I am beautiful just the way I am and makes me feel special every day. You should not feel that you have to be 'slim' in order to get his love and affection.

My hubby is kinda the opposite. He doesn't push me to lose the weight, but he pushes me to eat healthy and exercise. Sometimes it gets on my nerves because he knows I hate to exercise, and I really want to do this at my own pace. He thinks I should be looking at a goal date...like I should lose my 150 pounds in a year or whatever. That's not going to work for me right now, because I want to lose the weight and keep it off, not lose it and gain it back. So do what I do, and tell him to shut the hell up. It's hard enough trying to change your habits without others always pressuring you and telling you what to do. Tell your husband like I tell mine: you married me for better or worse, in sickness and in health, so get over it. If you aren't happy, get out Good luck!

The fact that you ONLY have the option on this site to aim for a mximum of 2lbs a week shows that any more than that is unhealthy and a little pointless.......


You are doing well and he should know that!

i got married a year ago and was the perfect UK size 12, after the wedding i binged a lot and am now a size 14- 16.

the last month or so i have been really good with eating properly and doing regular exercise and lost around 9lb since i have been tracking and probably more in total as didn't start tracking my weight for a few weeks.

my hubbie doesn't seem happy with my progress and thinks i should be losing the weight quicker. I am happy losing 1-2lbs a week as i think i will keep it off this way, he keeps on comparing to when i lost a lot of weight after having my daughter and didn't really eat much plus breast feeding which gave me a dramatic weight loss.

I know it annoys him that i cant fit my wedding rings on, which is due to weight gain but also getting them stuck on a door handle and having to have them cut off, but his comments really get me down. I feel that I'm doing really well and i just feel horrible after he puts me down.

Is any one else in the same boat, should i be losing more weight quicker than i am??

OH NO! I'm so sorry this is happening to you! You are losing weight at the recomended speed, no worries. Slow and steady wins the race. If he wants to know "Why" then tell him that if you were to lose all of it really fast, then the chance of you actually keeping it off is much lower. You are not just losing weight, but making a lifestyle change and that takes time! Your spouse should be your partner and try and help you and not hinder you, im sorry I Can totally relate about the wedding ring stuff tho! I just got married 3 weeks ago and I have an engagement ring and a wedding ring, and when the wedding ring is put on with the engagement ring, it squished everything up super tight and my finger started turning purple. I watched my sodium and dieted hoping the bloating would go down, because I live in CA and it had been 100+ degrees the whole month before my wedding! My husband wasn't exactly thrilled either! I ended up being able to wear the rings for the wedding and honeymoon but when we got back, I got them resized and now all is well!

It sounds like he's trying to justify his pushing because you can't wear the wedding rings, which presumably cost him a lot of money. Try wearing them as a necklace until you complete your current, totally reasonable weight loss plan and can wear them on your finger again. That way everyone can see them, know you're married, and he'll have to come up with another reason to push you to lose weight: depending on the new reason, you may or may not have deeper marital problems.

More than 1-2 lbs/week is not recommended for safe and sustainable weight loss. Your hubbie is wrong; don't try to lose faster. Doing so will likely lead to unhealthy habits and may do damage to your body.

This. Also, you're less likely to have saggy skin from weight loss if you lose at a slower rate!

Time to have a "sit down" and tell him how his comments hurt you rather than help you. It may be that he is just clueless about the effect his comments have on you. Give him a chance to become a support for you. Communication is the key in all things. Ask for him to support you and tell him what would help you the most to accomplish that goal. I am always weary of "the critic" especially when they are supposed to love and support you. You need to find out why he is doing the things he's doing before you can proceed to a solution. Good luck

I'm sorry you are going through this. Please do not tell your husband to "shut up." Do not stoop to his level! Talk to him in a calm voice and in a non-interrupted environment. Tell him what you are doing and how you are doing it. Ask him what his expectations are in terms of how much he thinks you should be losing per week and not because you are asking his advice but to see what his expectations are. If you are exercising, ask him to join you. Talk walks together after dinner together. Do you weigh and measure your food? Tell him that his comments make you feel bad and that you work better with positive reinforcement. Educate him. Set up an appointment with a dietician and ask him to go with you. Communication is key!

I'm going to agree with a ton of people who posted before me and say that your husband is being really gross. You're his wife and the mother of his children and that's how he treats you? Maybe you should clue him in on the fact that your body isn't going to look the same forever, regardless of how fast or slow you lose weight currently. People age and people change. If he's going to give you crap about not being thin enough fast enough for him then maybe you should be in the market for a partner who is actually going to support you and cherish you as you are. The wedding ring thing also sounds like a crappy excuse for him to make demands on how your body should look. You don't suddenly become unmarried if your ring isn't on and if it's that important to him that you wear it then you can put it on a chain like someone else suggested. Good luck.

LMAO..glad this site isn't for marital therapy....:laugh:

I hope he's a really great guy in other ways because this completely sucks! If you've told him to keep quiet and let you do the work, and he won't, you might try parroting. Whenever he makes a comment, always give him the same reply; whatever you want to say.
Examples:
"I got this."
"Thanks for your input, now go away."
"lalalalala; I don't have to listen to this" (while covering ears)

Whatever works for you. They usually get tired of this and leave you alone.

I've had to do this before and it does work for sure. LOL...annoys the ever living crap out of them though. However they are saying stupid stuff in the first place so it is really par for course.

I think these may work on some level...I have found a technique that seems to work to avoid the confrontation that typically results from comments like the ones your husband makes (mine does it too and this works on him).
"Yeah, you're right." (whether you feel this way or not, how can someone argue with someone that is agreeing with them)
"Hmm, that's interesting." (a comment that acknowledges he was heard, without agreeing or disagreeing)
OR instead of arguing, put him on the defense by asking him questions like: "Should I be losing more than two pounds, even if it's unhealthy?" "Can you prove what you are saying is true?" "If I lose weight any faster, it could hurt me; is that what you want?"

An example of a comment made earlier this week from my husband: "We both need to get lipo." My first comment was "Great, when do you want me to make YOU an appointment?" (Usually, I'm not so quick on my feet, but if you are go for it.)

"Thank you honey, it's nice to know you care about my health -- but be sure that I'm doing this the best way possible for me, so please don't you worry."

Repeat as often as necessary.


[ If you find yourself repeating more than 3x in one conversation, then repeat, but shout the words "my" "I'm" and "me". ]