Sabotage just short of the Finish Line

Several weeks ago I hit a major milestone. 50lbs lost. I was within 5 lbs of my target weight and within 10 lbs of my goal. I had rounded the final corner and could see the finish line.

You would think that I would be highly motivated and pick up the pace to get across that magical line and celebrate a goal hard fought and finally won.

But something happened. Instead of continuing the habits that brought me so far in the race. I stopped. Just short of the finish line. In fact, I backed up.

What was wrong with me? I was so mad at myself. I was so close. "Get back in the race!" I told myself and off I charged again. But then, once again, just as I passed that 50lb marker and was within sight of the finish line, I stopped. And backed up again.

What was wrong with me? Why was I doing this? Was I afraid of winning? Was I scared to reach my goal? Was I worried about what was on the other side of that finish line? Was I purposely sabotaging myself?

I needed answers and a push. Do other people experience such self sabotage? A quick google search told me they did.

But why me? Why now? What is holding me back? What do I have to do to not fear completing the journey. I feel it's like reading a good book. You can't wait to get to the end, but then you're disappointed when the story is over.

To all of you who have crossed the finish line, did you have this experience? And if so, what did you discover was holding you back from crossing that line. And how did you cope with the other side?