Irreversible damage

curvykent
curvykent Posts: 140 Member
in Motivation and Support
Anyone here ever get depressed when they look at their body and see "irreversible damage"? I do. I've got stretch marks (I've never had kids), I've got flabby fat on my stomach, under my arms and arm pits. I am sure with plastic surgery I'd be able to get it reversed but that's just not an option. I worry that with the amount of weight I have to lose I'll have hanging skin. My friends laugh when I say this, they say "you're not obese". But I am. I know I need to keep my eye on the goal and feel grateful for the weight I have lost (27lbs) but looking in the mirror is still hard. Knowing that I will never wear a bikin is hard, knowing that my stomach will never be flat again is hard... It's sad.

Replies

  • GingerDarlene
    GingerDarlene Posts: 164 Member
    With your age and if you do it right; cardio/strength; I doubt you will have hanging skin.
  • Melaniegibson
    Melaniegibson Posts: 30
    I think if you keep your weight loss and your exercise in sync you will not have hanging skin. You are young and I think you will be just fine.
    :flowerforyou:
  • sallyLunn
    sallyLunn Posts: 381
    You may bounce back better than you think you will. Also, stretch marks do fade. I bet your skin goes back. It will take a little while, first, you'll loose some weight and you see what I call "the slide" and you may even almost think you look worse. Then, your skin will start to go back into place. It happens.
  • tierra85
    tierra85 Posts: 300 Member
    As long as you don't lose it too quickly. If you eat right and exercise and lose a healthy amount you wont get hanging skin. I was scared about that too. i did research and it said to drink lots of water, Do resistance training 3 times a week to build new muscle for the skin to adhere to, Eat lean poultry and other proteins with each meal. i also read to exfoliate you skin. I exfoliate my tummy almost every shower lol And it is tightening up (with the exercise too obviously lol). some parts look lose but i have faith the smaller i get the tighter it should get. I have stretch marks too! Dont worry so much about it. You could try bio oil.. and maybe tan. the more your tummy shrinks, the less prominent they will look. :smile: you'll be fine!
  • ALLENFLO
    ALLENFLO Posts: 61 Member
    Just keep the weight loss nice and steady at 2 lbs a week and your skin will likely tighten up as you lose weight. I'm sure there are some creams and such with Vitamin E that you can regularly apply to help your skin recover.

    Keep up the good work! I bet you'll be happy in the end. :-)
  • cuddlegrl
    cuddlegrl Posts: 101 Member
    :happy: Yup young skin bounces back! :happy:

    People most often have 'weight loss leftovers' when they lose to much to fast- like with gastric bypass. A combo of cardio, strength training and diet help keep leftovers away. You should be fine :smile:

    As for the marks. Yeah those SUX! BUT the good news is they fade and sometimes go away completely. Its hog wash to think they dont because I have had it happen to me. Although tanning doesnt help- that seems to just make them glow! :noway:

    By the way: What a GORGEOUS WEDDING DRESS!! OMG I LOVE IT! AND YOU LOOK ABSOLUTING DAZZELING IN IT! :happy:
  • bbygrl5
    bbygrl5 Posts: 964 Member
    I sooooo know what you are talking about, but please let me offer my words of encouragement. Every person is different, so it may not be the same for you, but I'm 31 and besides yo-yo dieting in adulthood, I've been overweight my entire life. As I've lost weight, (of which has been 70 lbs so far) I noticed my stomach sagging, a little sagging skin under arms and on thighs and I was feeling horrible about it.... BUT, now I'm still working on it with about 40 lbs to go and I've added weight training to my routine, and all along I have been drinking all my water most of the time, and massaging my skin with oil everyday to try to help reduce any damage... I've actually seen my abs being lifted as I'm strengthening them, which is lifting my tummy and giving me back my bellybutton, lol and strengthening my triceps is taking care of my arms. Don't give up on ever wearing a bikini! You have to do things the right way, but you should be able to recover. Maybe not absolutely perfectly, but almost. ....AND if you get to the end of your goal and really do feel horrible still about the way you look, just my opinion, but don't you owe it to yourself to at least consider a little minimal surgury to reward your hard work? Best of luck to you!
  • mfpchris
    mfpchris Posts: 279 Member
    Well, coming from another side of the coin (everyone so far has suggested that you may end up looking the perfect person you dream of) If you come to exactly your goal weight, exactly. Then at the goal weight you become as lean, strong and flexible as you have ever been in your whole life. And you maintain your goal weight for a good while and keep active, lean, and fit. The nicest thing in the world that you could do for women struggling with their weight and body image is to proudly show yourself off, having fully accepted whatever "imperfections" you imagine you have and retaining the confidence in knowing you have done everything well, you've worked hard, and you have earned "in a good honest way" every thing you have.

    If you do this, I imagine you will be swarmed by admiring people excited to be with you, and anxious for you to give up your "secrets" on how you did it.

    You are beautiful, you will be beautiful, and I hope you earn being lean, strong, and healthy.
  • bbygrl5
    bbygrl5 Posts: 964 Member
    oh, one more thing.. my stretch marks aren't gone, but they are getting ever tinier and very hard to see now. :):)
  • MacMadame
    MacMadame Posts: 1,893 Member
    If you lift weights, you can fill in some of the loose skin. I'm at the point where I look fantastic in street clothes and okay in workout clothes. No way I'll look good in a bikini but I don't care about that. It's not something that comes up on a regular basis. :laugh:
  • melodyg
    melodyg Posts: 1,423 Member
    I had stretch marks long before I had a child too... and some was not from manageable weight gain (i.e.... just "developing"). The stretch marks from years ago haven't gone completely away but they are not very noticeable. I haven't lose enough weight to comment on the skin issues but I am hopeful that mine wont' be too bad as long as I get all of this weight off in the next couple of years!
  • LittleSpy
    LittleSpy Posts: 6,754 Member
    I'd rather have hanging skin than hanging fat. :wink:

    I've come to terms with the FACT that after losing 120-130 pounds I will have some loose skin. I may have a whole lot of it, or I may have just a little. After losing nearly 80 pounds, my skin definitely doesn't look as good as I imagine it would if I had never weighed 80 pounds more. Yes, there probably has been "irreversible damage" done. Whatever; It took a minute or 2, but I've dealt with it and gotten over it. The bottom line is I'm really not here for cosmetic reasons. I'm here because I want to improve my health, be fit, and enjoy the rest of my life. :smile:
  • vkpmusic
    vkpmusic Posts: 343 Member
    vitamin e oil does wonders for stretch marks...they don't disappear, but they do get small enough that it better be a GOOD friend getting close enough to see them! :tongue: ditto to everyone else and good luck!
  • rachelcordova
    rachelcordova Posts: 19
    I understand completely, at my highest weight I was once 220 (size 20), now I'm down to 148 (size 8). I've never had kids either, and I have stretch marks all over the place. And I'll admit that sometimes it really does get to me. There was a point before summer that I would cry all the time because it was swim suit season and I just felt terrible that I would never be able to go out in public in a two piece. But I've come to accept the "damage". I think it's easy to notice our own personal "flaws" when in fact they aren't as bad as we magnify them to be. I complain all the time about my saggy arms, and my boyfriend swears it's all in my head and he can't see it.

    We are always harder on ourselves than we should be. I bet all the imperfections you see in yourself are hardly seen by the people around you. It might take some time, but eventually you will make peace with yourself and your body, and you find your mindset changes and you become happier because of it. We just need to focus less on what's imperfect, and be happy for the accomplishments we DO make. 27 pounds down is a good deal of progress you've made! and you should be VERY proud of that! :)
  • Dammitviv
    Dammitviv Posts: 117
    Stretch marks fade with time, they never go away, and I don't think even plastic surgery can completely get rid of them. I went from 256 to 145 a few years ago (I've rebounded since then, but that's why I am here) and you will see a little sagging at first. As long as you exercise, eat healthy and don't lose weight too fast, the skin will tighten back up. I do have 2 kids, both were huge (9.5 and 10 lbs) and I was able to get my stomach down to where I wasn't ashamed to wear a bikini (stretch marks fade, remember, and are less noticable when slightly tanned). You are still young and your body is more resilliant than you know.

    When you get yourself in shape, and are able to see muscles in your arms and you feel good in your jeans, that model flat stomach won't be so big of a deal. You can do, and if you ever start feeling that you aren't going to make it, or you need a little motivation, post here. We will help you reach your goal!
  • curvykent
    curvykent Posts: 140 Member
    This webiste continues to amaze me, thank you so much to all of you who have posted on this topic. I appreciate the perspective/reality check, the words of encouragement, and the honesty of your own personal experiences. I know that when I see a friend or family member with stretch marks it doesn't affect my opinion of them or how they look and on that same note, I've got a loving husband who has loved my body through all shapes and sizes, and reminds me everyday that I am the most beautiful woman he's ever laid eyes on. And yes, I do believe him. He's head over heels in love with me. I am a blessed woman. I am fortunate to have the life I have and the body I have. I am not paralyzed, I am independent, and I can choose what to do with my life. Thank you all for talking me out of that nasty thinking!

    Okay now I'm going to try to add all of you:happy: I could never have too many weight loss buddies!
  • carfam07
    carfam07 Posts: 39 Member
    Hi, I read your post and felt compelled to write to you. I have struggled with my weight for many years. I remember at age 12 only wanting to eat two slices of bread because I was afraid of becoming "fat." Honestly, that is kind of sad, isn't it? Well, sad as it was then, I am sadly here again at 42 thinking I need to only eat two slices of bread because of the sugar content. ha! I can laugh about it because when I really think about it, I can't remember when I was satisfied with my weight. When I weighed 140 I thought I was fat, when I was in a size 10 I wanted to be in a 6, and the stories go on and on. I guess to get to the point, no one is perfect even if we are at the "perfect" weight. I think we should work to become healthier in a healthy weight range and exercise for our health. But, don't worry if you have stretch marks as it will just be a good memory of how hard you worked to get healthy. If you have a God, a good heart (literally also), loving friends and family, half your battle is already fought for you. It seems to me that in your post half your battle is already won with a loving husband by your side. All you have to do is set a goal and reach it. You can do it. You can do anything you want to do as long as you follow your own plan and make no excuses.

    Our weights are very comparible and I want to weigh 185 by Thanksgiving. You want to weigh 182. Let's get positive together and really do this for ourselves. We'll have bad days but lets make the 190's a good memory in our past. When I get to my "perfect" weight, I am going to eat atleast "3" pieces of bread that very day! ha!!! Best of luck to you. WE CAN DO THIS!!
  • beethedreamer
    beethedreamer Posts: 465 Member
    I read your post and honestly feel the same exact way. At one point, I kind of wanted to stay fat so I wouldn't have the yucky hanging skin. Obviously I realized that was ridiculous. I want to be healthy and if that means having a little bit of a saggy belly, it's okay.

    After reading everyone's encouraging posts I feel 100% better.
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    Well, coming from another side of the coin (everyone so far has suggested that you may end up looking the perfect person you dream of) If you come to exactly your goal weight, exactly. Then at the goal weight you become as lean, strong and flexible as you have ever been in your whole life. And you maintain your goal weight for a good while and keep active, lean, and fit. The nicest thing in the world that you could do for women struggling with their weight and body image is to proudly show yourself off, having fully accepted whatever "imperfections" you imagine you have and retaining the confidence in knowing you have done everything well, you've worked hard, and you have earned "in a good honest way" every thing you have.

    If you do this, I imagine you will be swarmed by admiring people excited to be with you, and anxious for you to give up your "secrets" on how you did it.

    You are beautiful, you will be beautiful, and I hope you earn being lean, strong, and healthy.

    That was lovely, :flowerforyou:

    I found that once I started to wear sleevless shirts, other ppl in my group started to also. You only live once, focus on the positive!
  • JDMPWR
    JDMPWR Posts: 1,863 Member
    I will play the realist here. I have lost over 100 pounds and have stretch marks and hanging skin. Everyones skin elasticity is different. Some bounce back quick, some take longer, some never tighten up. Best thing to do is work on building some muscle as that will help "fill" up the lose skin.
  • chris_in_cal
    chris_in_cal Posts: 2,553 Member
    mfpchris wrote: »
    Well, coming from another side of the coin (everyone so far has suggested that you may end up looking the perfect person you dream of) If you come to exactly your goal weight, exactly. Then at the goal weight you become as lean, strong and flexible as you have ever been in your whole life. And you maintain your goal weight for a good while and keep active, lean, and fit. The nicest thing in the world that you could do for women struggling with their weight and body image is to proudly show yourself off, having fully accepted whatever "imperfections" you imagine you have and retaining the confidence in knowing you have done everything well, you've worked hard, and you have earned "in a good honest way" every thing you have.

    If you do this, I imagine you will be swarmed by admiring people excited to be with you, and anxious for you to give up your "secrets" on how you did it.

    You are beautiful, you will be beautiful, and I hope you earn being lean, strong, and healthy.

    Awe, I think this is my first post from my old account that got accidently blown up.
  • chris_in_cal
    chris_in_cal Posts: 2,553 Member
    mfpchris wrote: »
    I hope you earn being lean, strong, and healthy.
    Looks to be my first post from my original 2010 MPF account...which MFP snatched and wouldn't give back :(
  • chris_in_cal
    chris_in_cal Posts: 2,553 Member
    edited July 24
    Still stand by it

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