This will make you smile :)
Maggie1960
Posts: 322
• If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
• If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
• When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
• Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
• If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
• Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
• Cookie pieces contain no fat — the process of breaking causes fat leakage.
• Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife while making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon while making a sundae.
• Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate.
NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
• Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and popsicles.
If only it were true eh?:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
• If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.
• When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.
• Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
• If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
• Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.
• Cookie pieces contain no fat — the process of breaking causes fat leakage.
• Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife while making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon while making a sundae.
• Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate.
NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.
• Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and popsicles.
If only it were true eh?:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :bigsmile:
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Replies
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LOL0
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You right--this did make me smile....yet it also made me think of all the foods I miss!0
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Very cute! Thanks for sharing!0
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LOL! I never count the peanut butter and jelly I lick off the knife when I make my daughter's lunch ;-)0
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Very funny :-)0
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love it i needed that!!!0
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I love that! Thanx.
And: eating while exercising cancels out all calories, for example: walking and eating ice cream cone= 0 calories.0 -
LOL, Thanks!!0
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LOL cute!0
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LOL Needed that today! Thanks :laugh:0
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If you eat something off someone else's plate there are no calories....the calories stay with the original owner!0
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LOL ..that made me smile :laugh:0
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BUMP0
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that just made me started laughing. like omg xD i cant stop smiling and giggling now. :blushing:
thanks for sharing :drinker: :flowerforyou:0 -
I've just thought of another - anything consumed over Christmas doesn't count, courtesy of Santa :bigsmile:0
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many multiple giggles0
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i love it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0
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ahahahaha i used to actually believe that first one when i was a tiny child! XD along the same vein as "i cant see you, so you cant see me! *covers up eyes* I'M INVISIBLE! 8D"
:laugh:
made my day!0 -
I've just thought of another - anything consumed over Christmas doesn't count, courtesy of Santa :bigsmile:
this is why he's my favorite.0 -
Maggie1960 Don't we wish ? enjoyed the reading. thanks0
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! WORDS TO LIVE BY!0
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I'm so glad my post raised a few smiles - I just hope no-one new to the site thinks those are genuine rules for weightloss!:bigsmile: :bigsmile:0
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:bigsmile: :bigsmile: :laugh: :laugh:0
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LOL0
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Loved it.:laugh: :laugh:0
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If there is lettuce on the bottom, it's salad and salad is healthy no matter what is in it.0
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LOL - I'm so glad that I've got it right - those were my thoughts exactly.0
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