At my wits end!! Any help?

Hi There,
I really need some advice...anything is appreciated.
I'm 25 and have recently decided to make the concerted effort to lose weight and tone up. I struggled with an Eating Disorder (ana/mia) for 11 years, and have been in recovery for 2. I'm very happy with that progress as far as my recovery, but my absolute inability to lose weight is driving me NUTS. It's taking all my willpower not to go back to my old ways...
A typical day for me would be
5:30: wake up
6:30-7:00: brisk walk with dog
8:00-5:00: work (mostly sedentary office job) Lunch at 12:00 (usually salad, or turkey slices, or carrots and hummus, or veggie brown rice sushi...something of that nature) Snack at 3:00 (usually a banana, apple, carrots, Quest Bar...)
6:30-8:00 work out (mostly spin bike, Precor, and weights) ((suffering from runner's knee at the moment, so running is out for the time being)
8:00-9:00 Dinner (usually grilled chicken and veggies, fish, tofu - try to eat as clean as possible)
10:30: Bedtime

If I wrote my life out on paper, I think I'd be fairly healthy, I try to eat really well, keep my calories to around 1200-1300, don't smoke, drink rarely, exercise as much as possible, and stay active (I paddle board, hike, Pilates, Yoga, go on long walks around the city. Going to start Kitesurfing and crew soon), take my supplements (fish oil, CLA, LCarnatine, 5-HTP, Whey) and yet i CANNOT lose weight. I'm 5'9" and wear about an 28 in jeans, 8 in slacks and dresses, 34 C, and have a lower tummy that just wont budge and thick legs (I don't weigh myself because I don't think it would be the best move for me in my recovery. I hope to get to the point where I can.)
Does anyone see a glaring problem here that I'm not catching? From my extremely obsessive past with food, I feel like I've studied enough to know the right things to eat, how to prepare them cleanly, and solid exercises to meet my goals - and yet, they are all to no avail. I've seen a little change in my arm muscles, and slight muscles in my thighs, but for the intensity, duration and amount I'm working out (6-7 days a week), it's just not enough.
I'm trying so hard to treat my body right this time, SO hard, but I'm getting so discouraged. I hope nothing I've said here will be taken the wrong way, I'm honestly trying.
Can anyone offer tips that worked for them? Advice on what I'm doing wrong? I really need it.
Thanks so much!

Replies

  • Bekahmardis
    Bekahmardis Posts: 602 Member
    It's really going to be hard for anyone to give you advice without looking at your diary, but I'm going to place a bet here that you actually aren't eating *enough* based on the high exercise amount you've mentioned.

    Take a look at http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/974888-in-place-of-a-road-map-2k13

    Read through *ALL* of that, and then compare it to what you're doing. See if that helps a bit?
  • kjoy_
    kjoy_ Posts: 316 Member
    You're going to need time, help and professional support to continue weight loss in the recovery stages of an eating disorder. The fact that you're still calling them by their "pro-ED" nicknames "Ana" and "Mia" signals to me that you still may be in the mindset. Please talk to a physician or a psychologist. They will be able to put you on a plan to get to a healthy weight and help you change your relationship with food.
  • alpine1994
    alpine1994 Posts: 1,915 Member
    I definitely understand the frustration. Here are a couple of things that came to mind:

    1. Are your expectations too high? Just from your measurements/sizes you can't have much to lose, if any. The last few lbs could take months. You said you've already seen some progress in your body and that's awesome!

    2. Obviously your relationship with food has been damaged by your ED. I can't see your diary but the typical day that you gave is pretty restrictive, especially if that's what every day is like. Sometimes it's good to treat yourself, so you don't feel like you're struggling so hard to lose the weight, know what I mean? I eat healthy 90% of the time. The other 10% I have whatever I damn well please, and I have never once felt like this is hard to do. At the beginning of my weight loss journey I was too restrictive and was miserable.

    3. Holy over-exercise! Exercising that much is definitely not necessary to lose weight and get toned up, and is probably hurting you more than anything especially since you have the knee injury. 30-45 minutes of a good total body strength and some cardio 4-5 days a week will be just as good. If you love exercising that much though, then go for it I guess. I would just think maybe there's other things you'd like to do sometimes...again to make it feel like your life is normal and not struggling.

    Do you honestly feel like you could eat this way and exercise this way for the rest of your life and be satisfied? If the answer is no, maybe you should re-evaluate your plan to see if something could help you be happy and healthy forever, while still being in awesome shape. It's possible! Promise!

    I'm sorry if any of this came off as mean or blunt. That's definitely not at all what I'm going for because I feel for you. Just sharing what has worked/hasn't worked for me. Good luck!
  • Marionville
    Marionville Posts: 5 Member
    I agree, except I am going to say you are DEFINITELY not eating enough!

    When you enter your basic details into MFP, this calculates your Basal Metabolic Rate, which is the amount of energy you burn to stay alive - breathing, digestion, heart beating, brain function etc

    At your height and age (never even mind your weight which is also a factor) you should probably be consuming at LEAST 1600 kcals per day, absolute minimum - and that doesn't take account of your exercising.

    Also, take 1 or 2 days off training each week for rest and recuperation. You spoke about muscle tone and heavy, intense training. Well, muscle won't grow or repair if you are continually hammering it. What we do in the gym STIMULATES muscle growth. It is the food and rest which we take away from the gym which produces a healthy, funtioning physique.
  • Wilhellmina
    Wilhellmina Posts: 757 Member
    Your calories are way way too low, your body gets in the saving mode and will prevent you from loosing weight! I know the problem, I had to deal with eating disorders as well (Orthorexia and Bulimia). I advice you to go low carb, that works for me!
    (60% fat, 30% protein and 10% carbs, about 1600 -1700 calories a day)
  • Kalee34
    Kalee34 Posts: 674 Member
    I agree with Marion. Eat more, rest more, your body will thank you!
  • A209
    A209 Posts: 5
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  • A209
    A209 Posts: 5
    You're going to need time, help and professional support to continue weight loss in the recovery stages of an eating disorder. The fact that you're still calling them by their "pro-ED" nicknames "Ana" and "Mia" signals to me that you still may be in the mindset. Please talk to a physician or a psychologist. They will be able to put you on a plan to get to a healthy weight and help you change your relationship with food.
    Appreciate the advice and the time you took to respond.
    I used the term ana/mia as an abbreviation and what I admit might be a force of habit. I in no way was advocating the "pro ana/mia" connotation and would hate for anyone to think that was my intention. It's been a lifelong battle and one I work on daily, I would never want to be seen as someone that advocated for a truly destructive disease. My use of the nickname was done for brevity's sake, and my own familiarity, not to be seen as endorsement. If the words are triggering to anyone, I genuinely apologize. I know the use of the words is controversial, and I should have been more cognizant of that as I was writing. I could edit the post, but I'd rather admit that it was a slip of tongue - the result of typing quickly and in a stream-of-consciousness fashion - than pretend it didn't happen. Just wanted to clarify, thanks for reading.
  • JessicaZen
    JessicaZen Posts: 149 Member
    without looking at your diary it's hard to say but if you are working out as much as you say and only eating 12-1300 calories then you are not eating enough. I was afraid to eat and was working out a lot and I had hit a plateau. But some friends on here suggested to find out my TDEE and BMR and go with that and I have started to lose again as of the last couple of weeks and before that was just going up and down the same 3-4 pounds. hope that helps a bit.:flowerforyou:
  • A209
    A209 Posts: 5
    Thanks everyone! I appreciate the advice and tips so much - I've never reached out in a community board for help before like this. Really helpful to know there is a hole in my plan I wasn't seeing - I'm going to work to fix that. Thanks for taking the time to write!