My head is mashed with diets

lancashiregirl
lancashiregirl Posts: 11
in Introduce Yourself
I really need someone to help me focus. My head is totally mashed with diets, conflicting information, contradictory diet advice and the media. I have battled with weight problems all my life, lost it, gained it and a bit more a few times but now in my 50's I have totally lost focus, commitment and direction. I have tried low carb, no carb, high protein, calorie counting, Atkins, weight-watchers, slimming world, hypnotherapy, I even had a gastric band. I am about 6 stone overweight, having problems with my joints, have IBS and have recently suffered massive stress through a personal problem - my head is in a whirl. I seem to be religious in my commitment to a diet for a week then it all goes to pot. I feel like I am lazy which I probably am as I don't take exercise. I firmly believe that families who bring up their children to be active wont probably have so much of a weight problem as others. Unfortunately my family weren't active and it has rubbed off on me. I work full time, and in my spare time relax watching tv or pottering about the house doing cooking, washing etc. I need to do something but don't know what diet to follow. I wish someone would take me on as a case study! I don't have any friends to support me, only family and they have got bored with hearing me start out on diets as they always see me fail. Where do I go from here apart from an early grave?

Replies

  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    you need to go right back to the basics and discard all of the advice you've been given about this that and the other, most of which is myths and pseudoscience.

    Forget trying to follow a diet, most of them are rubbish. Just do the basics

    The basics:

    1. eat less than you burn off (counting calories is a very good way to ensure this is happening - i.e. set up a calories goal on this site and stick to it.)

    This ensures that you lose weight. No matter what else you are doing, if you're eating the same amount as you're burning off you will not lose weight. If you're eating more than you burn off, you will gain weight


    For good health, and to ensure that you lose fat, (not muscle, etc)

    2. make sure you're eating all of these things that your body needs: protein, healthy fat, healthy carbs, vitamins, minerals, fibre, water

    3. exercise - any exercise that you enjoy and will stick to is what you should do. Worry about specific kinds of exercise later (some are better than others) but for now, just stick to any kind of exercise that you know you'll be able to stick to

    Further advice:

    Go for long term maintenance, not short term big drops in weight. What would you prefer... to lose weight quickly then gain it back.... or to lose it slowly, take longer to get there, but keep the weight off for good?

    In order to keep the weight off for good, you need to make permanent changes that you can stick to for life. That's why I'm advising to strip it down to the basics and forget about all the various "diets" you've tried before.... they don't work. You've found that already. Maybe they work for a few people but they didn't work for you, and that's because the diets themselves are not very good.

    Be sustainable... set your calorie goal to a sensible level, e.g. lose 1-2 lb a week - if you have a lot of fat to lose, set it to 2lb a week, if you don't have so much to lose, then just 1lb or 0.5lb. Then stick to your calorie goal. Try to be within 100cals of it every day. Being under by a lot won't help you. So try to hit the goal, rather than be under it. Eat back your exercise calories. Success is small losses on the scale of 1-2lb a week, because that's 1-2lb of fat you say goodbye to forever. Eat all the foods you enjoy while hitting your calorie goal. It's calories in v calories out that determines if you lose fat or not. There are no foods you have to cut out of your diet 100%.... focus on hitting your goal, and giving your body what it needs (protein, vitamins, etc) and don't give up any foods completely... you'll have to eat less of some things to fit them in your calorie goal, but you don't have to eliminate them.

    Focus on consistency, i.e. sticking to the changes you make in the long term, i.e. eating your calorie goal each day, doing whatever exercise you chose................. because what determines whether you lose fat and keep it off for life, is whether or not you stick to the changes you make for life. That's why I'm suggesting going back to the basics, and keeping it very simple, and sticking to those simple changes.
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,153 Member
    The two below links are a good place to start. Basically, they're just more specific versions of what the last poster said.

    The Basics

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819925-the-basics-don-t-complicate-it

    Setting Your Calorie and Macro Targets

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/819055-setting-your-calorie-and-macro-targets
  • 2muchchocncrisps
    2muchchocncrisps Posts: 176 Member
    Totally agree with neandermagnon above!

    Just a couple of days ago I threw out all the diet books, diet magazines and special free booklets that come with the weekend papers promising bikini bodies or loss of 7lbs in 7 days. I had collected them over the years, read them and decided that the diet would follow and I would be transformed. Of course it never happened, the books got chucked in a drawer and I ate more because I had failed again. Diets can work and many many years ago I lost 3 stone ( and spent a lot of money) with weight watchers BUT I put it back on and then resented the money I had spent and the fact I was stupid and worthless to fail again.

    The basics is the way to go. It's not rocket science! The tools are here on this site. If you set your calorie limit and log EVERYTHING you eat then you can lose weight and you are only accountable to yourself. The support here is fantastic, friends motivate and empathise with the difficulties we all face. There are some great role models to push you forward without judging you.

    So start today on your lifestyle change, accept that you will have difficult days as well as brilliant ones but that your actions will make you healthier.
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    Agree with what others have said. Stop going on diets, and keep it simple. Eat the foods you like to eat, log everything here, accurately, and make whatever changes you see fit. Make gradual changes over time that you can live with long term. Don't cut out a long list of foods, or whole food groups. Just eat, log your food, have a small calorie deficit, and move a bit more.

    As far as activity goes - I agree with you, I think how you're brought up definitely affects how active you are as an adult, BUT it doesn't have to always be like that. I was very inactive as a child/teenager/young adult. At school, I did my best to avoid sports. In the last year or two, I've completely turned it around, so it can be done! I started with just walking regularly, added in cycling on a stationary bike. Didn't really enjoy that, so it was a bit of a chore, but enjoyed the walking. Added in strength training and finally about a year ago, used the Couch 2 5k programme to start running. Now, I love running, go 3-4 times a week for a minimum of 5k, and can run over 10k at a time.

    Running might not be for you, but my point is that I was lazy, sedentary and unfit, and I have become someone that truly loves to be active. I have always been the sort of person perfectly happy to sit for hours watching films, reading, on the internet etc. I still love to do those things, but exercise has definitely become a way of life.

    To get there, I think you need two things - first, you need to find something that you really enjoy. There will always be some forms of exercise that you are better suited to than others. I can't do exercise videos because I find them boring and tedious. I love to run, do yoga, dance etc. Try a few things to find what suits you - it might be swimming, or a martial art, or exercise videos, or belly dancing, or cycling. Or even just walking. Then, you also just need to be disciplined. Make the time to do it. Make it something that's non-negotiable, like going to work, or having a shower. Make it part of your day, even if it's just for 10 minutes at first. You won't always feel motivated, but once it becomes a habit, it's much easier to keep going.

    The same is true for any dietary changes you make. The hard truth is that motivation will not always be there. There will always be times that you don't feel like counting calories, or thinking about weight loss. You have to make a decision that losing the weight/getting healthy is important enough to make a proper commitment to, regardless of how motivated you feel about it on any given day. You just have to do it, and for those times, relying on habits that you've formed is really helpful.

    You can definitely do this; just try to take a step back and keep it simple. I'm a naturally inactive person, and a stress/emotional eater, and I have lost over 6 stone, so believe me, it can be done. I'm a little bit younger than you, but don't let that put you off either because if you look around and read the success stories, there are lots of women your age and older who are losing the weight and keeping it off. You can do this. :flowerforyou:
  • happieharpie
    happieharpie Posts: 229 Member
    "Every "diet" I've ever done was sabotaged ultimately by binging/craving/obssessing. When a health issue finally made me realize that health ALWAYS trumps appearance, I was able to choose elements of contemporary thinking about eating and weightloss that work for me.

    I have omitted white foods, which I define to mean all added salt, all added/refined sweeteners, all grains, all white veggies except cauliflower, and all dairy except 2TBS of low fat (additive free) 1/2&1/2 in my daily coffee.

    I do IF my style, 2 cups of delicious morning coffee with Stevia/Truvia, and my supper of an egg and egg whites, veggies, unsalted nuts, and mixed berries. Elements there of Paleo and Meditteranean, and Clean, so I understand.

    I faithful,y follow MFP EVERY DAY, whether I'm 100% satisfied with what I do or not. I've been disatisfied 2 or 3 times, and worked myself right into program, because I designed my program!

    I enjoy the same suppers for several consecutive nights, and have a short list of restaurants where I can enjoy dining out with friends.

    My point- do lots of research, not out of desperation but to thoroughly educate yourself, and come up with a plan that follows as many of YOUR unique needs as you can incorporate. MAKE IT YOURS, FOR YOU. Use ALL the good ideas you've used before .and throw out what didn't work. When you've pulled together what you know works for you, you have no conflicts with what you want to do and what BIG DIET BROTHER wants.

    If it's YOURS, you just can't fail, you can only experiment and self-correct.

    I am decades older than you are, but since I started MY WEIGH WAY, I've had no binges, no compulsive brooding, no cravings.I've loat weight, and I've lost years of feeling like an old bat. Very happy to see both gone!

    I believe in you!
  • janine962
    janine962 Posts: 20 Member
    Have you thought of trying 5:2 or intermittent fasting? Basically you only stress about the calories for 2 days a week & eat normally for the rest of the time.
  • lancashiregirl
    lancashiregirl Posts: 11
    I have tried everything. I tried 5:2 and failed at the first fasting day. Having gastric band Hasnt really worked for me . It has made my relationship with food very unhealthy though and I have become a very fussy over eater whereas before I would eat anything. Now, what I like one day may not be something i can face another day . I am two stones lighter than my heaviest but if I carry on as I am then that will soon have gone .
    I will try and get my head around things this weekend to start on Monday . Thank you for your good suggestions and help, I need to get my head into gear now !
  • hzliiz
    hzliiz Posts: 166 Member
    Yes to what the first several responses said. Un-mash your head and banish the word diet from your vocabulary! It's the only 4 letter word I disapprove of! :smile: Move a little more, eat a little less of what you like. Food doesn't have to be the enemy, we're supposed to need it and we're meant to enjoy it. Best of luck to you!

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