Scary Photos That Should Have Been Destroyed

If you are anything like me, you spent much of your life hiding in the background of photos; or perhaps, you made sure to be the person taking the photos. That way, no scary evidence of how you really looked to could ever show up without warning.

Of course, my hubbie Ed would occasionally snap a photo of me with our camera. I could always delete those shots or edit them down to a head and shoulder picture, if they weren't too bad.

Unfortunately, I could not control the accidental snapshot taken my someone I didn't expect. That's how these photos of me at Ed's ordination in 2011 have survived. One of the family had captured me at my top weight of 280+ pounds. If I had seen them before this year, they would have immediately been deleted from every place that I could find them.

I remember a similiar photo taken by my grand daughter, using my camera. Not only did that photo disappear, but I threw away that tan jacket the same day that I saw the photo. Yes, I never wanted to be seen in that jacket which 'made me look fat'. Of course, it couldn't have been my 280+ pound body that was ballooning out the jacket. That would have been too much for me to acknowledge at the time.





Today, I got a horrifying jolt. I was just visiting the website of a small church in San Diego that Ed and I had attended for a while, before moving to Apple Valley. While looking through their new website, I opened a photo post from October of last year. To my horror, I found a photo of me that I had never seen before.

There I was, sitting at a table...fat and sassy...and handing out candy to some of the children. I had no idea that someone had taken this photo, until today. This painfully accurate picture was taken just 1 day, before I met with my surgeon and was told that I had to lose 70 pounds to qualify for knee surgery. I know what my weight was on that day. I was exactly 270.9 pounds and quite sure that I would never consider putting myself on a diet again for the rest of my life.



Boy, did I have some surprises ahead of me. The photo on the right was taken 6 months later, after only 4 months on MFP and more than 40 pounds lighter. I am still amazed at the physical changes that only 40 pounds could make.

Today, I am another 20 pounds lighter than even that kinder April photo; and I am glad that I didn't have the opportunity to destroy that horrible snapshot from October or the equally frightening ones from 2011. I need them now to remind me of JUST HOW FAR I HAVE COME.

I also need them to show me what will happen, if I ever decide to go back to my old way of thinking and eating. These surviving, scary photos are my best motivation to just keep going and not give up.

Do have some of those scary photos of yourself; or did you destroy them all, like I wanted to do? Are you glad to have them now?