Yeah, yeah, I know....

I re-injured my back in June 2012 and dropped off of here for a while. I checked in in fits and bits, but I'm here now.

But as a consequence I'm heavier than I've ever been in my life, 5'4" and 217. It's awful. Anyone that says menopause doesn't have any effect on women can kiss my hiney, cause they can't miss it it's so friggin' big. I can't even look in the mirror. And on top of that I have tons of food intolerences / sensitivities so I don't get to eat things everyone else does. No wheat, cow dairy, strawberries, peanut butter, the list goes on. I haven't had rice, pasta, bread, or any of that crap in years. I eat fruit, veggies, and allow myself some popcorn or corn chips, at least I'm not sensitive to corn. I put coconut milk in my coffee, (no more soy lattes, sob) and I have spaghetti squash instead of pasta. Salad every day. My husband says if he ate what I ate he'd weigh 55 lbs soaking wet.

I found a great chiropractor last December and he got me back into the gym, finally, but then I go and stub my baby toe on my right foot on the bed leg, (a few choice f words were heard as well as a sickening crack), and that's two weeks ago, and it's still bugging the crap out of me, but I'm only able to use the recumbent bike, and that carefully because my foot starts to bother me. Sometimes it feels like my toe isn't part of my body, although it's still attached.

And my heart rate monitor broke, and dang it, I'm feeling like I should take all of this as a sign that I just shouldn't bother.

I guess I'm venting and giving myself a pity party, but I don't understand. I don't eat cake, or cookies, or crap, no fast food or goodies, none! I've had to deny myself so much it's starting to be ridiculous to me. I'm back here weighing and logging everything, but sometimes, sometimes, more so now than ever I feel like giving up and what's the use.

poopie.