FT working mom of three... How does this fit in?

FitBelleVie
FitBelleVie Posts: 125 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I'm in need of some others in a similar situation that I am. I'm a full time (5 days a week, 8-5) working wife, and mom of three kids (ages 9,7 and 2) and I'm trying to find the motivation to fit in weight loss! Do you know what I mean? I started back to the gym last night for the first time in about 2 months. I was on hiatus because I started having gallbladder attacks out of the blue and then I had surgery to remove it. So through all of that, I lost my motivation and my diet went to crap. Along with working out because I just couldn't. I gained about 15 pounds back after a 50 pound weight loss in the past 2 years. My goal right now, today, is to lose 40 pounds by Christmas.

So the reason I'm posting this is mainly because of the GUILT I feel when thinking about the time it takes for working out. I know that sounds strange. It even feels weird to type it. But last night, I left for the gym at around 6pm which is normally the time I'm making dinner for my kids, cleaning up and playing with them. While on my way to the gym I was thinking about how much time I had to dedicate to each thing at the gym so I could be home quickly for my husband and kids. I've tried going to the gym after they go to bed but by 9pm, I'm so tired that I don't get a good work out at all. Even if I take a preworkout (and then I can't sleep well afterwards). I am not really a morning person either and I can't even go to the gym before work because my husband has to be to work by 6am so I guess if I got up at 4 that would work but the gym isn't even open yet. During the school year, I don't get a lunch break either because I take my kids to the bus in the mornings and I don't get to work till 9 which doesn't leave me with any time to take a lunch and go to the gym. I am going to the gym on my lunch break today but school starts in 4 weeks so that won't always work.

Anyone out there have any ideas? I know I should just face my guilt and get over it. I'm getting in better shape so I can be a better mom and wife and be healthier blah blah blah... I know that's the same speech I give myself every time I go to the gym. But it just doesn't work for me.

I also have worked out at home, taken my kids (or just one) with me when I go jogging or walking around the neighborhood. But where I live, it's 100+ degrees every day and it doesn't cool down below 90 until after midnight (that's a desert for you) so working out at home/outside just isn't an option for me either.

So here I am, asking strangers for advice (or encouragement!). :)

Ideas... go!

Oh P.S. - I know all about fitness and diet, supplements, etc and do realize that 80% of my success depends on what I'm putting in my body. But for ME, I have to incorporate fitness in order to lose. Some people get amazing results with very little cardio and weight training. My body just relies more on the physical than other people.

Replies

  • walleyclan1
    walleyclan1 Posts: 2,784 Member
    I do my workouts either on my lunch break or at 830 when husband is putting the kids to sleep! My kids are also small enough that I can put them in the double stroller and take the for a walk but looks like 2/3 of yours are too old for that. I will also baby gate off my workout room 2 days a week for 30 minute weight lifting.
  • colleensmommy1
    colleensmommy1 Posts: 4
    I'm a teacher with a 3 1/2 yr old. I'm not in the same boat as you kid wise but my husbands schedule is crazy with travel etc. so I understand the early workout issue. For Me what has been working for the last 15 days and that I can see working for me when I go back to work, is a hard but short workout. I am currently doing 30 day shred,it's 30 minutes if you include changing clothes, it's tough but short. I am successful working out right when I get home. I have also prepped my dinner by cooking a bunch of freezer meals and crockpot meals so I am expecting to workout while my dinner is in the oven or finishing in the crockpot. I also push away the guilt by thinking about being able to play better with her at the park, living longer etc instead of thinking about what I should be doing with her while I workout. Good luck!
  • jr235
    jr235 Posts: 201 Member
    This obviously doesn't work for everyone, but as another full time working mom of 1 busy toddler I deal with the guilt by just getting up early and doing exercise videos. I buy some and get some through youtube. I think Netflix has quite a lot too. I'm very lucky because we also have a treadmill, and over time I've been able to accumulate some weights and resistance bands along with my videos. I figure I'm saving on a gym membership and time commuting.

    I've tried going to the gym in the evenings, and I just couldn't do it. I felt guilty and missed that time with my daughter. Now I shoot for 3 days a week of working out, plus at least 3 evenings a week of physical activity with the little one. We run around the house and go for walks after 7pm. Every weekend we go to the pool. I live in the Middle East currently, so I get that its hot. The activity I get with her may not be a hardcore workout, but I figure its something and getting my kid some activity as well. When the weather is nice we are outside all the time.

    I managed to lose all my pregnancy weight this way. I would like to lose an additional 10 lbs, but I will take that as it comes.
  • ckjbamorris
    ckjbamorris Posts: 1 Member
    I am also a mother of three. I'm a teacher so I have the summers free,which makes it easier to find the time to work out, but during the school year I face the same struggle. People think I'm CRAZY and I might be, but I get up at 4:00 am to exercise at home. It is the ONLY way I can fit it in! In the beginning it was SO HARD to get up that early, but after a few weeks it was easier and now that I've been doing this for a couple of years, I couldn't imagine NOT doing it. There have maybe been a handful of times over the past two years where I decided to sleep in. Needless to say, I felt WORSE during the day. I have a spin bike and a treadmill. We have a basement with room, but if you didn't have the room you could do a video or something else. I'll be honest and say that I do go to bed early! I hit the hay when the kids do during the school year, but it's worth it to me. I've lost 40 pounds and I have about 10 more to go. I know how hard the struggle is and I wish you luck. You can't feel guilty for wanting to be healthy and your kids want you healthy too. Hang in there ... you'll get it!
  • MzManiak
    MzManiak Posts: 1,361 Member
    I'm a single mom of 3... so I know where you're coming from. I do lifting in the gym 20-30 minutes 3x/ week right after work. Kids are still in daycare or they come with me and go to the kids klub. Not a lot of time to be away, and not a lot of guilt because they're playing. The cardio I do at home after dinner. I take the baby with me in the stroller and walk or run. Or I stay home and use the elliptical, or use a Jillian Michael's video. Still only 20-30 minutes. The older boys are either in bed if a school night, or playing their xbox before bed. No time lost except I don't watch as much TV any more. Still spend the same amount of time with my boys, still make dinner and eat with them, still get the stupid laundry done... lol Just have to find a schedule that works for you. Good luck!
  • jr235
    jr235 Posts: 201 Member
    I want to second prepping meals. I do a million, gazillion times better with nutrition when I do some meal prep on the weekends. Even if its not assembling meals but just the ingredients.

    The best I've found is so to sautee onions and garlic and add that to different combinations of vegetables. I portion out meat, but keep it separate. They all go into freezer bags, and all I have to do is take them out and cook them up.
  • Seesawboomerang
    Seesawboomerang Posts: 296 Member
    Guilt is just a common side-effect of being a parent.

    Going to work out is not just your opportunity to get fit which is good for you and your kids. It is also some time to yourself. Enjoying this aspect is probably what makes you feel guilty.

    Well don't! Some time for you is important. If only to refresh your enthusiasm for your kids!

    The logistics of fitting in workout time are the issue for me, but if you can find that space, I say take it and don't beat yourself up for it!
  • k1214
    k1214 Posts: 33 Member
    I'm a FT working mom of three as well (6 1/2, 5, and 3 1/2). Earlier this year I finally decided to get serious about my health and weight. I gave myself permission to focus on myself and allow myself to take some of the family time to focus on my goals (I was in a 14 week program through my job that had me meeting with a trainer 2 nights a week). I really need and want to get myself back on track and healthy so I make the time to do it. I get up before the rest of my family at 4:30 to do my walking/running M-F. I go for my long run/walk at 6:00 on Saturday mornings. I'll hit the gym either on lunch breaks or for some evening classes. Yes, I miss out on some family time, but it's okay to focus on yourself too. Mom guilt is a terrible thing :)
  • NumbrsNerd
    NumbrsNerd Posts: 202 Member
    All I'm going to say is if it is important, you will find the time.

    I work full time as does my hubby - and both of our full time jobs are more like 45+ hours than 40. We also both go to school part time and we have a son.

    You can do it if you prioritize yourself and your health.
  • Seesawboomerang
    Seesawboomerang Posts: 296 Member
    And if you're looking for some ways to exercise while still attending to your kids - throw in a few squats with every wash load or each time you (are about to) sit down; play more physical games in the park or garden (lots of chasing games, football, trampolining, whatever you have access to).

    I used to really enjoy a morning swim but can't fit it in these days ...
  • meredith1123
    meredith1123 Posts: 843 Member
    Preplan your meals ahead of time, cook them ahead of time - eat left overs for dinner fo ra few nights and then go to the gym. Its the ONLY WAY i can fit in dinner after work. I get home at 545pm - kids eat dinner and are done by 615pm and then me and the kids rush up to the gym. I take about an hour and 45 minutes at the gym to work out and we get home about 830pm. It's just life.... and the only way i can push a few nights a week in at the gym.

    pre plan/pre cook meals....
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
    FT working mom and wife here too! I have 2 kids (ages 7 and 4). I get up at 5 am and workout while my husband is getting ready for work and can be home with the kids. We decided we had to make our health a priority so that we're around for the kids (and to keep up with them!). So with me working out in the mornings that allows my husband to do his in the evenings when I'm putting the kids to bed. It's really just a matter of making it a priority and do it!
  • SelenaBou
    SelenaBou Posts: 21 Member
    The only thing that has worked for me as far as the gym goes is this. We joined the YMCA. The ones here (Ontario, Canada) have kids programming so my girls go to program while I do my work out. They are having fun and making friends so I don't feel bad leaving them. The other thing I do but realize this won't really work for you is to work out in the mornings. I run so on days that we can't/don't want to go to the gym I get up early and go for my run before they are up.

    The gym is tough when there are time constraints.
  • pjsdj
    pjsdj Posts: 90 Member
    I totally hear what your saying!!! I work full time S does my hubby and he works graves so I'm on my own about 80 percent of the time. I also live in arizona so I have the same issue with heat... As nice as a stroller jog sounds its just not practical to drag a little one out when it's this hot. I haven't figured out the magic solution and no offense to anyone or their posts but you can make yourself a " priority" and still feel very guilty. It sucks the fun and the motivation out of it for me when I'm at the m counting down the seconds til u. Can get home to the crew. I cancelled my gym membership and got an elliptical off of craigslist and set up a little table so my daughters can color by me while I work out and we can still chat. I also started doing wii workouts and workouts off youtube and my daughter kinda half does em w me for about 2 seconds and than just plays around but at least we're together, I think just trying out different things you will figure something out and once it cools down it'll get alot easier.
  • mmultanen
    mmultanen Posts: 1,029 Member
    It is so hard. I have a 1 year old, a 3 year old and a 9 year old stepdaughter for which we are the primary caregivers. I can have a rather flexible schedule with my work and I'm grateful for that. However, it's still really difficult to find the time to workout. I've realized over the last 16 weeks a couple of things:

    1) routine. If it's not a regular part of your routine it will not happen. Not only does it have to be a part of YOUR routine but your entire family's routine. My husband is super supportive of my weight loss and he's really worked my workouts into his schedule.

    2) it is always hard at first. Starting any kind of new thing or restarting an old thing, is really hard. Homeostasis is so cozy, and simple, and easy why on earth would we want to do anything different than what we're currently doing! BUT, once you get that routine down, it becomes the new old, if you will, and it is just as simple and easy and why on earth would we want to do anything different!

    3) the gym is my new "me" time. My playlist, my new running shoes, my snacks IT'S ALL MINE AND I DON"T HAVE TO SHARE ANY OF IT WITH LITTLE HANDS!! I realized the other day, I've really begun to embrace my workouts as less "oh geeze, I HAVE to go work out so I lose weight" and more "HECKYEAH! I'm alone, doing what I want to do!"

    My hubz and I are lucky that he flexes his schedule to do mornings with the kids so I get to work early (630am most of the time) then I leave around 3, hit the gym and then pick up the kids. I don't like to work out in the mornings, but I can get to work and get work done.

    Good Luck!
  • suziepoo1984
    suziepoo1984 Posts: 915 Member
    I am FT working mom of a toddler and have the same guilt issue..so can toally relate with it. Very early morning workouts are not for me as well, because my daughter is still not sleeping through the night..so i squeeze in as much sleep as i can get. I got a fitbit one, so nowadays i try and stay active at work as much as i can and also go for a walk lunch time, just to get in more steps.
    Apart from that, i try to workout on weekends, as baby with the dad, so less guilt :)
    I have to slowly let go of guilt and include more workouts slowly, just getting prepped for that:)
  • spottedkathy
    spottedkathy Posts: 196 Member
    Same situation for me. I have a 9 and 1 year old, husband and a full time job. I was trying to do it at night after the kids went to bed but I had excuses because I was too tired. So my solution; get up at 330 am and go. Seems early but it works. I get home by 5 and am there when I have to wake them up. If you are unable to go to the gym have you thought about work out videos? Feel free to add me if you like! :)
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    Yes I am a working mom of 3 (19,18 &17). Ok they are a bit older now but when they were younger I would put 2 in a stroller and strap the third on and walk about a mile. Then when they were school age we took Karate lessons together. I also went to the gym. By having activities that we did together it really decreases the guilt.
  • Yocum1219
    Yocum1219 Posts: 400 Member
    You are ME! I'm 34, 3 kids (11,9,4)! Hubby works 730-whenever he's done every day. Which can be from 5-630 daily. Once I'm off at 5, it's straight to get the kids. During the summer, I mow 2-3 nights a week once hubby is home (he's a mail carrier who walks 6-10 miles a day, depending on his route, so he gets to watch the kids & rest). Once fall hits...sports time until spring! There's a practice or game almost every night of the week. And I'm the one with a set time off, so I take the kids. In the morning, he's gone by 630 & the bus doesn't come til 705, so I can't go to the gym then either. I manage 10-15 minutes on a treadmill during lunch, IF I don't have errands to run that day. But that's NOT enough for my body to actually LOSE anything, no matter how well I eat.
    Add in a tight budget & that makes it harder to get healthier foods sometimes! (Thank goodness for gardens)

    I have an idea & seeing a lot of the responses below...encourages me. I have to get UP & at least do SOMEthing in the mornings! Even if I get up just 30 minutes earlier to do a 20 min Zumba video. I NEED to do it! If anybody out there wants to friend me & PUSH me...feel free! (I'm horrible at keeping myself motivated).

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