Overly OBSESSED about calories

Log your calories at the start of the day - done!

Insanity isn't the way to do it, I've found. Lift heavy and drop the body weight exercises for a while.

Also, calorie obsession can lead to binging and unhealthy habits. All of this burning calories to eat a certain amount seems to be detrimental. You eat a certain way to lose weight, but you train to sculpt your physique.

If you are not gaining weight it is a success!!! The weight will come off eventually. I came close to my goal weight....than got stuck and said screw this, it is not worth it. Then my body said no problem , here is 50 lbs!!!

I found when I started MFP the first time around a few months ago I was obsessing about calories and people used to tell me not to over think things but then I would micromanage my intake more, literally down the the calorie and I would check it and re check it.... and in the end it basically did my head in because I felt like I wasnt doing it right enough.
Anyhoo this time around I just decided **** it. I plan and log at the beginning of the day, I put my food out.. I go to the gym for 45 minutes 4 times a week.. done.
Its not rocket science and its much kinder on the mind I am finding.

ditch insanity and learn compound lifts - deadlifts, squats, chin ups, pull ups, over head press, chest press, etc and once you have these moves down start lifting heavy and go with a three day a week total body workout and two days a week cardio....

IMO

I've heard that weightlifting is good for getting rid of the "skinnyfat". I've never tried lifting weights before, only cardio. My husband lifts weights at home, but lifts way more than I would have to (obviously). Where do I start?

Search the forum for Starting Strength,StrongLifts and New Rules for Lifting for Women...

"My life revolves around counting calories. All I think about every second of every day is what I'm going to eat and how I'm going to burn off the extra calories. If I eat more calories than I should, I try to burn them off with EXTRA exercise on top of what I'm already doing."

I don't know why the majority of people are replying with weight loss and exercise tips. The most important part of your message is the above, and it sounds like the beginning of an eating disorder, to be frank. Your mental state is far more important than getting toned at present.

I would recommend, from my own experience to NEVER plan a day ahead, for me it is a set up for failure. Maybe not after a day, week, motnh or a year but eventually it leads to failure as I learned. It is the thing that ruined my diet anyway. Because when i plan and do one little thing not according to my plan my day is set for failure and I am bound t overeat. So that is in my experience the worst thing you can do. I am just like you, working the excess calories and constantly thinking about food and calores and it is really hard to get out of that mentality, i have been trying for months and just beginning to do it. But you really need to learn to forgive yourself, we're all humans and mistakes are part of learning and a part of a journey that you are leading.You sre not perfect and you will make more mistakes but you are not a machine and the food you "overate" with is probably something your body needed anyway. For example I had a diet tht had much more protein, no fats and low carbs but enough calories and then I felt stuffed for example but in the need of something( carbs, bread) so i started a week of failure and destruction. I ate only butter bread and margarine for the entire week which was because of the inbalances i had in my diet so your body required it anyway too. Relax, don't overexercise and believe me your body will be grateful.

Stop counting calories.

Some people lose weight very effectively by managing every aspect of their diet and exercise -- monitors and gadgets to know EXACTLY how much they burned, food scales to know EXACTLY how much their eating, and apps galore to make graphs and charts and projections and whatever. And that's great for those people.

For others (I'm included, so don't feel bad or alone , knowing, tracking, and obsessing over ALL of the details is just unhealthy and counterproductive. So, I'd suggest trying some other ways of managing diet and exercise. I've found the paleo/primal thing a much better alternative for me than counting calories. I know it's all kinds of different for all kinds of people, but for me it's more of a paleo-style thing, as I still very occasionally eat non-paleo things like dairy. Now, as compared to when I was counting calories, I don't obsess over what I'm eating and because my diet is much more limited (but not restrictive) pretty much all of my available food choices are good choices. I eat good food when I'm hungry and that's it. It's so much less stressful and time-consuming. And I'm not a miserable SOB to be around. For other people, eating 'clean' accomplishes basically the same thing. Fasting is another option that works really well for some people. I know a girl who lost a lot of weight and has mainted for a while now eating an 85% raw food diet. Not my thing, but it works for her. They're all just ways of creating a calorie deficit -- by making better food choices (because your options are limited to better food choices) or by limiting the time you're eating. Do whatever works for you and your lifestyle. Just make sure whatever you do decide to try is something that's sustainable and, if done correctly, healthy.

And do the same thing with exercise. Stop tracking how many calories a workout burns and start focusing on exercising to improve your fitness. If you like lifting weights, then you can focus on lifting heavier weights. If you like running, then you can focus on running further, or longer, or faster. Or, if you don't like anything, focus on trying new things to hopefully find something you do like -- kayaking, horseback riding, crossfit, swimming, dance classes, whatever. Focus on trying as many new things as possible.

Then, if you don't see the progress you want, change you routine. Not losing weight? Adjust your fasting schedule or focus on making healthier choices when you aren't fasting or eat a large, leafy salad before your meals, change your workouts, etc. I know that's probably blasphemy for this site, because it's centered around counting calories and logging everything daily, but you don't HAVE to count calories to lose weight and get in shape. It a good way, but it's not the only way.

I've been doing insanity for 3 weeks now and have seen great results... but never did the 6 days a week thing, I did other exercising in between and did a little bit of weight lifting. Variety is the key, and you'll find out over time how your body reacts to different exercises! Try the weight lifting and do some cardia beside it is my advice:)