Top 10 Reasons Lifting Heavy is Terrible for Women

taken from: http://www.liftbigeatbig.com/2013/06/10-reasons-why-heavy-lifting-is.html

Everyone knows that lifting makes women big, bulky, and less desirable. But, do they know the reasons why? I compiled my top ten reasons as to why women should NEVER EVER even think about touching a weight. Ever.

1. You will find less and less that you are asked to go to the kitchen and make a sandwich. What will you do with all that free time?!?

2. Men on the Internet will tell you that you are too big. Can you handle no longer being the object of a stranger's fantasy?

3. Pants won't fit because your butt has gotten so big. Imagine actually filling out a pair of pants, the horror!!

4. Your children might see that a woman can be something more than a frail object meant to please a man. Challenging the status quo is never a good thing.

5. You can eat a much larger amount of delicious food and not gain a pound. Disgusting! Pass the tofu and skim milk please.

6. Men will avoid you at the gym when you lift more than they do. How are you supposed to know how to lift without their constant coaching?

7. You will be able to open a pickle jar without a man or a knife. No one should possess that much raw power.

8. Your bones will maintain a thick density throughout your life. Do you really want to rob a surgeon of your money for osteoporosis treatment?

9. Heavy lifting can be as diverse as you want to make it. Your time would be much better spent on a treadmill every day watching CNN.

10. You will be shunned from old friends that want you to go clubbing every night. Those are the kinds of friends you just don't want to lose.


This gave me a good chuckle this AM...Now go and lift ladies!
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Replies

  • Haha!
  • CatAMcC
    CatAMcC Posts: 166 Member
    haha brilliant. was wondering where the thred was going with the title............
  • rachelwarner32
    rachelwarner32 Posts: 96 Member
    This is hilarious! Thanks for the morning chuckle :-)
  • Graceious1
    Graceious1 Posts: 716 Member
    When I saw the headline I thought let me check if this is for real. When I read the first line I did laugh. I will go and pump baby because oh how I love to pump.
  • sluggz
    sluggz Posts: 134
    Crush them weights ladies!
  • ToxicTinkerbell
    ToxicTinkerbell Posts: 63 Member
    Ha this is great!
  • UndercoverAngel74
    UndercoverAngel74 Posts: 185 Member
    Thanks a lot! I just spit coffee on my computer screen....hilarious!!
  • T0BYW0N
    T0BYW0N Posts: 8 Member
    Epic. It had me with the title at first, I was like...what the...?
  • Escape_Artist
    Escape_Artist Posts: 1,155 Member
    Haha!! Love it :)
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    Why would your clubbing friends avoid you?
  • SadFaerie
    SadFaerie Posts: 243 Member
    :heart:
  • T0BYW0N
    T0BYW0N Posts: 8 Member
    P.S. Forwarding this to my wife - she'll love it. She's been circuit training, after a few rounds of p90X and Insanity...but I'm trying to get her over to the dark side with me - Starting Strength, 5/3/1, etc.
  • bokodasu
    bokodasu Posts: 629 Member
    7. You will be able to open a pickle jar without a man or a knife. No one should possess that much raw power.

    Funny, I was just thinking this the other night when I opened a stuck jar without banging it on anything. FEAR MAH POWAH!
  • britzzie
    britzzie Posts: 338 Member
    Love!
  • MaeRenee94
    MaeRenee94 Posts: 175
    hahah this is great!
    when I saw the heading I was like "oh great, here we go"

    Great way to start my morning. : )
  • RyonsLions2
    RyonsLions2 Posts: 350 Member
    I LOVE THIS!! I am printing this out and posting it in my kitchen!!! LOL!!!
  • K_Serz
    K_Serz Posts: 1,299 Member
    1. You will find less and less that you are asked to go to the kitchen and make a sandwich. What will you do with all that free time?!?

    Thats more time for brushing up on polishing the old ....


    polishing_furniture-old-school-260x260.jpg


    Antique table
  • Mother_Superior
    Mother_Superior Posts: 1,624 Member
    Man! I popped popcorn and came in here expecting a battle.

    tumblr_llcu9d3Nc81qbv6xt.gif
  • I was about to say, are you kidding me?? Nice this morning. Thanks - :bigsmile:
  • Sedna_51
    Sedna_51 Posts: 277 Member
    GLORIOUS.
  • AJ_MotherRunner
    AJ_MotherRunner Posts: 175 Member
    love, love, love it!!! :laugh:
  • kaleena1983
    kaleena1983 Posts: 64 Member
    Pure awesomeness! lol
  • ghsfitnesspal
    ghsfitnesspal Posts: 260 Member
    Eddie GIF made this!
    Man! I popped popcorn and came in here expecting a battle.

    tumblr_llcu9d3Nc81qbv6xt.gif
  • littlewhittles
    littlewhittles Posts: 402 Member
    Love it!
  • pfgaytriot
    pfgaytriot Posts: 238 Member
    Hahahaha! I should print this out to hand to the old man that told my girlfriend and I that we should be in the back with the machines and that he worried about women getting hurt in the weight area. Pretty sure we hurt his ego by first passing him on the track, then lifting the same amount of weight he was lifting.
  • JaniseNikolic
    JaniseNikolic Posts: 24 Member
    This was hilarious! I was ready to argue when I saw the title too! Thanks for the smile this morning....now I am heading to the gym to LIFT!
  • leannerae40
    leannerae40 Posts: 200 Member
    I'll go to gym tonight where my FEMALE figure champion trainer is nursing one of her children out of illness while eating fish for breakfast to get ready for Nationals and is planning on training for 12 hours today. After reading this post, I'm sure she'll want me to take it easy so that I can make sandwiches properly later.

    NOT.

    What an awesome title, revved me right up for the workout tonight! I'll have to reread it before I go!!
  • VincitQuiSeVincit
    VincitQuiSeVincit Posts: 285 Member
    Man! I popped popcorn and came in here expecting a battle.

    tumblr_llcu9d3Nc81qbv6xt.gif

    EDDIE GIF MADE MY DAY! YES
  • mamasmaltz3
    mamasmaltz3 Posts: 1,111 Member
    <<<<<<<~~~~Yep, lifting has done awful things to my physique. Don't do it ladies! ????
  • VincitQuiSeVincit
    VincitQuiSeVincit Posts: 285 Member
    P.S. Forwarding this to my wife - she'll love it. She's been circuit training, after a few rounds of p90X and Insanity...but I'm trying to get her over to the dark side with me - Starting Strength, 5/3/1, etc.
    5/3/1 has been my favorite method. Not easy, but awesome results