10 month old not sleeping at night- Help?

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  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    I'd say, solve the short-term problem of the kicking first - get some pillows or something so that YOU can sleep when she's in your bed. It's a long haul, but you have to break it down into small steps, and each kid is different.

    My sons, we used to comfort them in their own room on our lap, get them sleepy, and then plop them back into their crib as soon as we could get away with it. Yes, you might have to do it a few thousand times. Alternate nights so someone gets sleep.

    I never did "Cry It Out" unless they were much older and obviously just throwing a tantrum.
  • Im_NotPerfect
    Im_NotPerfect Posts: 2,181 Member
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    Sounds like both of my youngest! My daughter was 18 mos when she started sleeping thru nite and son 14 mos
    Our thing hurting us was their cribs being in our same bedroom. Once we moved their crib out in another room we did the whole crying it out thing. With my son it only took one night, my daughter it took 3 nights of it. But it worked. Good luck

    I was going to say this same thing...move her crib out of your room. She can hear you and know you are right there to get her when she wakes up. And while this is great for security reasons, it doesn't promote sleeping through the night.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
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    My daughter started sleeping through the night much better when we started taking her out for walks in the stroller in the evening. Something about the fresh air seemed to help, and it was good for the rest of us as well.

    The other thing that helped was a hazelwood necklace. I don't understand how it works, and for the most part - I still think it's mumbo-jumbo, but for some reason, she sleeps better with it, even now at almost 5 years old, we make sure she's got one. The natives around here recommended it to me, and I was glad they did.

    http://www.purnoisetier.com/en/6-babies-and-children
  • hsmaldo
    hsmaldo Posts: 115 Member
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    I agree with moving the crib out of your room. I also don't think you should start with her in the bed with you and then move her over later. If she wakes up in her crib instead of where she fell asleep with you, that could be scary and disorienting and could lead to more crying.

    I would continue with the nighttime routine you have for your oldest, but incorporate your youngest. Then work on it from there. My youngest cried and would get so worked up that CIO wasn't a great option for us. But we would go in and soothe her, rub her back WITHOUT picking her up out of her crib.

    That's what finally worked for us and got them sleeping through the night and in the same room.

    Good luck!
  • CountryDevil
    CountryDevil Posts: 819 Member
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    Below is the experience that my wife and I had with our's. This may not be the case for you but something to consider.

    In addition to moving the crib out of the room which we found was also part of the issue.......

    Have you considered diet? Pending on if you are breast feeding or formula will make a difference. Since my wife was not able to breastfeed, due to medications she was on, we had to rely on formulas. We found that the regular formulas like Similac and Similac II were too harsh on our son's stomach and he cried all night long or when he laid down. We discovered that this has to do with him being slightly lactose intolerant and after switching to a Soy based formula, things subsided and he began to sleep through the night. In order to get him around this we put him on Soy based formulas and then slowly introduced regular formulas back in over about a 6 mos period. After that he was fine and we didn't have any issues.

    IF you are breast feeding, also keep in mind, what you eat and drink, your baby gets as well. So if you eat a mexican meal with beans and cheese, onions, the little one gets as well. (Learned that one the hard way too.)

    Just my .02 from the experience my wife and I had.
  • ninnyfurr74
    ninnyfurr74 Posts: 111 Member
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    I have two suggestions 1. There is an all natural teething tablet that contains herbs for soothing and it promotes sleepiness 2. There is a brand at walmart that makes a chewable melatonin tablet. Both of these options are all natural and safe. I've had to use the melatonin with my son. His energy levels are so high, that even with a good bed time routine, he just couldn't fall asleep. He would be up constantly. It didn't help we had several life change events right at the age where they start to form their own sleep patterns and habbits. With my oldest we ferberized. He went down about 2 hours our expected bed time so that hopefully the crying was done by the time we wanted to sleep. It was a hard month but it worked. Good luck! I know every child and situation is different.
  • Brizoeller
    Brizoeller Posts: 182 Member
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    Love the responses telling someone what not to do and how terrible this and that are. As for people opposed to CIO, that's for you to decide for you and your own children. But it does not make someone a bad mom if they choose to do CIO. Just like someone is not a bad mom if they don't co sleep, breastfeed, or baby carry. EVERYONE is different, as are all kids.

    OP: Just try new things and see how they work for you and your family. I'm sure it is hard to be so sleep deprived, and I hope it gets better soon. This too shall pass is true. I've never seen an 18 year old sleeping in bed with mom and dad, using a pacifier, or wearing a diaper, LOL

    Also: I did use CIO and my son has slept through the night since 6 days old (yes 6 days) and he is now almost 3, in a big boy bed, and one of the sweetest, most caring, and cuddly boys you will ever meet. So that whole, "If you do CIO then you are harming your kids because they need to be responded to every 5 seconds, that is a sham, IMO "
  • marilynx
    marilynx Posts: 128 Member
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    6 days old doing CIO??!! Not even the experts on CIO say to start it until at least 6 months!!!! At least that's what I thought..... I could be wrong though.

    You're right, definitely your child and your decision.

    Anyway, I hope it all works out for you. Like everyone else has said, eventually this will pass. I just wanted to add that since your life is that hectic at home, have you considered cooking enough food to last a few days at a time? That way you would only have to cook 2-3 days a week. Your off cooking days could be the days you do some exercise when you get home. It seems like my stroller idea was no good? How about a workout DVD? I know Tae Bo has a children's version of he workout. It'll be a nice way to start really slow with something and your daughter can do it with you. Just a thought.
  • bluestarlight19
    bluestarlight19 Posts: 419 Member
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    Hi, Thanks for all the suggestions everyone!! We are planning to move her crib back into my daughters room but have to wait til tomorrow because its a 2 person job, we have to take it apart and reassemble it.

    We did try the bottle of water last night instead of formula. It worked well I think. She woke up a few more times than normal but they were very brief wake ups and she took 2 sips of the bottle and then threw it (lol) and laid back down to go to sleep :) that is definately an improvement on the bottle front. She still ended up in our bed after midnight but I'm hoping that with the water, she wakes up less tonight hehe!!

    As for exercising, its not the time, I usually throw a dinner in the oven and steam some fresh veggies using steamer bags. Its the kids....I usually just do weight sets while I'm cooking and it allows me time to take breaks to get the kids what they want or need. I do have dvds and would LOVE to be able to do them but I can't right now because they are mostly cardio and I get interrupted a lot, usually by my oldest. She tries to exercise with me for a few minutes but then its "I want juice!" or "put these stickers on me". Mostly she just wants my attention because we have just gotten home and she was at daycare all day, So doing weights lets me do both. Also...we dance :) its really fun and she loves it so I just throw on music and the 2 of us dance and I toss her around.
    The exercising comes down to motivation from sheer exhaustion.
    Lol, I know....this too shall pass....I just wish it would pass faster....

    I will update this weekend at some point to let you know how the crib moving went.

    I really really thank everyone for thier suggestions!!! My husband and I are discussing all of them and seeing what we can do (minus all the drugging our kid ones....)
  • Brizoeller
    Brizoeller Posts: 182 Member
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    6 days old doing CIO??!! Not even the experts on CIO say to start it until at least 6 months!!!! At least that's what I thought..... I could be wrong though.

    You're right, definitely your child and your decision.

    Anyway, I hope it all works out for you. Like everyone else has said, eventually this will pass. I just wanted to add that since your life is that hectic at home, have you considered cooking enough food to last a few days at a time? That way you would only have to cook 2-3 days a week. Your off cooking days could be the days you do some exercise when you get home. It seems like my stroller idea was no good? How about a workout DVD? I know Tae Bo has a children's version of he workout. It'll be a nice way to start really slow with something and your daughter can do it with you. Just a thought.

    I didn't do cry it out at 6 days. He automatically slept through the night. I had to start cry it out when he moved from a bassinet into a crib. But I don't really listen to "the experts" anyway, since the views on what is best for a child change every year or so. But yes, my child, my decision, hence why I was saying no one should tell someone what is "right" or "wrong" because it can vary (besides the drugging the children thing, that's not good).

    OP: Awesome job last night, glad it was a bit easier! Definitely progress not perfection :) And I always try to remember that these phases won't last long, and usually we miss the good and the bad when they pass, so i try to enjoy every minute. You are obviously a great mom, trying to do the best for you and your family :)
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
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    I suppose don't have kids isn't particularly helpful at this point.

    Ick- and people ask my why I don't want them.

    I grew up on baby hot toddy's- best thing ever for teething babies- but I"m sure that will bring the wrath of mothers everywhere upon my mother for doing that- but both my brother and I turned out just fine :D
  • wannabpiper
    wannabpiper Posts: 402 Member
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    What a generation can mean! My boys both were adamant family-style bed babies and would cry for hours, too, if not brought to bed with us. Our daughter, however, has found the solution with her little one. At 10 months she was brought to our household and was firmly planted in mom and dad's bed. After much research, our daughter began a rigid bedtime ritual and it truly has worked. Here it is:

    1. dinner
    2. walk, play, etc. for an hour
    3. bathtime - lots of fun and positive time together
    4. play in the nursery/baby's room for as long as it takes for baby to get tired
    5. sing a nursery rhyme together for one or two rounds
    6. kiss and put baby down in crib

    She cried horribly, and after 20 minutes, Kate went in and patted her and walked back out. After that, every 10 minutes Kate walked in and patted her and walked out.

    It's best to start this on a Friday night and be sure baby doesn't get much by way of naps that day. It's good to ensure she doesn't get any more nap than absolutely necessary, because you want her to be very tired at bed time.

    Very difficult, and our daughter cried a lot at first feeling mean and a bad mom, but they're all sleeping so much better now that our little one is in her own crib.

    Occasionally they regress, too, and she begins the soothing technique all over again.

    Good luck!
  • jboccio90
    jboccio90 Posts: 644 Member
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    I co-slept with my daughter, she also had issues with sleeping through the night.

    I personally couldnt do the CIO method, to sad for me to hear.

    I guess I figured, time is so precious and I do not know what the future holds so if she wants to sleep with me at night then I will put up with her feet in my back haha

    And honestly, it is such a good bonding time I dont know how many times she will wake up, give me a kiss then go right back to sleep.
  • Artemis726
    Artemis726 Posts: 587 Member
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    Something I didn't see mentioned...I'm curious about her daytime schedule. Perhaps she is having too many or too long of a nap which is affecting her need for sleep. Maybe if she was cut down, she'd be a better nighttime sleeper for you. Good luck!
  • carolyn0613
    carolyn0613 Posts: 162 Member
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    Have you come across Jo Frost Supernanny? She has some really good advice about all sorts of parenting issues and bedtime is one of her specialities. She's written books as well as her TV shows.

    her advice is to do controlled comfort where baby is put to bed awake and left to settle themselves to sleep. At the first crying/waking/fuss you comfort as normal and then leave her to settle herself back to sleep. Next time you go in, you are a little bit more distant, no chat and just a brief comfort. Third and subsequent times you say "back to sleep, goodnight darling", and leave the room. This way she will know you are there and will come to her but she's getting nothing of what she wants (bottle/get up/in your bed). Jo Frost swears that after a week of this, she will be sleeping through the night. and SO WILL YOU!!

    However tough it is to be tough with the child, it's surely not as tough as this sleep deprivation - you know that's true! You've got to do it because it's not fair on her not getting a good night sleep either
  • strongmindstrongbody
    strongmindstrongbody Posts: 315 Member
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    I feel for you. My youngest was an absolute horrible sleeper for his first 3 years. Co-sleeping was the only thing that worked. If you do try CIO, please still be attentive. Don't go in the room on a whim, obviously, but listen for head bunting on the crib and wall and choking on mucus from too much crying. This happened with my son.

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