Does anyone else deal with this???

GiGi76
GiGi76 Posts: 876 Member
edited September 21 in Motivation and Support
My family (mom and sister) seems to think im losing too much weight..... but im 5'3" and small boned.... i think a health goal for me is between 115-120lbs but when i tell my family this they say i look fine now (133lb) and dont need to lose anymore weight... even said im starting to have body issues like Anorexia.... i eat plenty, and feel Great!!! I dont think im fat i just need to lose more weight in my stomach area and toned up some more.... Just wondering why my family feels this way.... and what i can do to get them off my back about it!!! Also, Ive been thinking about becoming a Semi-vegetarian after watching a movie called Earthlings.... I've always flirted with the idea of this but seeing this movie makes me want to do it more now!!! Im starting off slow and want to work my way up to Ovo-lacto vegetarianism... again my family thinks this is CRAZY and not healthy!!! What to do????

Replies

  • XFitMojoMom
    XFitMojoMom Posts: 3,255 Member
    meh!
    Who're you doing this for? You or them? I'd ignore it - it's most likely that they don't want to be put to shame by your success.
  • your definitely doing this for yourself. It matters how you feel not what other people see! You are doing so good. You look great and i bet you feel amazing!
  • GiGi76
    GiGi76 Posts: 876 Member
    Thanks.... and i know its just aggravating trying to defend yourself about it!!! And just wondering if anyone thinks 115 for my body build is unreasonable!!!
  • SoldierDad
    SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
    I am big boned and my family freaked when I hit my goal weight. But I am happy and I understand it is important to have a good body image of myself. 115 is fine if your healthy and happy.
  • XFitMojoMom
    XFitMojoMom Posts: 3,255 Member
    5'3" - no, I think that's reasonable, but a lot depends on your build/sKeletal and musculature. I'm a tick under 5'6", when I weighed 115 I was super slim. Personally now it would be too slim for me. I'm aiming for 150-155.
  • Cina04
    Cina04 Posts: 609
    I'm 5'3. use to be 135 and after 6 yrs went to 175.

    I use to think being in the 130's was fat. When I look back at pics when I was that weight, I think wow! I was skinny and I had no reason to complain about my body. My goal weight is 145 (to be more realistic w/ myself and than once I hit that decide if I want to lose 10 more lbs)

    For myself I don't want to go under 130 because I don't want to look too skinny & lose my curves! =)

    But if being under 130 makes you happy than go for it. It is your body =)
  • GiGi76
    GiGi76 Posts: 876 Member
    I'm 5'3. use to be 135 and after 6 yrs went to 175.

    I use to think being in the 130's was fat. When I look back at pics when I was that weight, I think wow! I was skinny and I had no reason to complain about my body. My goal weight is 145 (to be more realistic w/ myself and than once I hit that decide if I want to lose 10 more lbs)

    For myself I don't want to go under 130 because I don't want to look too skinny & lose my curves! =)

    But if being under 130 makes you happy than go for it. It is your body =)

    I still have all my curves and even at 110lbs when i was in high school i had curves.... im thinking for me 115-120lbs is about right... my 1st goal is 125lbs and then i will decided for sure if i want to lose 5 or 10 more lbs!!! Im smalled framed.... and think this is probably about right!!! But we will see!!!
  • You're not being unreasonable, I'm 5'2 and my goal for now is to reach 120-125, but I want to see how I feel once I reach that goal and try for maybe another 10 lbs. As long as you're doing it the healthy way and you feel good, keep it up. This is for YOU afterall, make YOURSELF happy. I had a similar situation years ago when I got myself back down to a size 6, we're military, so my family doesn't see much of me. After a couple of years in Alaska, where I'd lost all the weight, we went home to visit before moving to Cali. From what I experienced, your situation may be the same....jealousy, competition?

    Not trying to "bash" my family members or yours, but often times when others see you succeed at something, it affects those around you differently. I hope you're able to balance this situation out for yourself. Boy do I EVER know how difficult dealing with family can be, their ideas, their views, their opinions.....many times will differ from your own. It isn't like you are trying to push this lifestyle on them! Bottom line is....you're doing this for you, and to make yourself happy & healthy. As odd as they may think you're behaving, this isn't about them. Keep your head up! Good luck to you!!
  • carrieberrie
    carrieberrie Posts: 356 Member
    I'm 5'9" amd weight 159. and everyone thinks I'm too skinny. I was 135. Where I would like to be. I get it all the time. I dont really care what anyone says its me that wants to do it. Just do it for yourself
  • KarenBorter
    KarenBorter Posts: 1,157 Member
    I think 125 is perfect for your height ... 120 but no more.

    I am 5'8" and I told my mom I needed to initially lose 20 lbs but I would like to lose 40lbs she said the exact same thing "don't lose too much weight" ... I stopped her and told her then and there I needed her SUPPORT not her negativity in this. If your family wont' give it to you then do what you want to do to make YOU happy.

    See how you look and feel at 125 ... the tummy may be tone not weight loss related :)
  • GiGi76
    GiGi76 Posts: 876 Member
    Thanks everyone.... i dont think it a jealous thing, i really think they just worry to much!!! Im going to keep at it until im happy with the results... im getting there just not there yet!!!
  • mlcdz
    mlcdz Posts: 43 Member
    The formula used by dietitians is usually at 5' start at 100 lbs., for every inch after that, add 5 lbs (for a medium frame). So, at 5'3" about 115 is perfecto.

    RE: the vegetarianism. People who don't eat that way don't understand the ecological/environmental reasons behind it. Sounds like you have your head on straight. You look great and if you feel healthy - go for it!
  • Dtrmnd1
    Dtrmnd1 Posts: 72 Member
    lol THANK YOU!! Yes I am sooo in the same boat! People think I look good now and going too far & slightly obsessive. THANK GOD my husband is in my corner! Today my mom said so when are you going to be finished...my response "NEVER" lol! Then I go on to explain how I am healthy and working out and eating right and to me OVERALL doesn't matter what size I am and what scale says I'll know when I've met my goal. I want a six pack and EVERYTHING to be tight ! Until then I will not go into maintenance mode.
    I've found that most are jealous of looks and discipline others, though concerned, need to back off LOL I get tired of defending my choice for healthy living....Hey if I don't have an eating discorder or using drugs get off my back ....i'm very vocal LOL
    Overall I keep what Im doing to myself and a few choice cheerleaders ;)
  • I think that issues like this stem from the fact that we're used to walking around seeing so many overweight people. People no longer have an accurate concept of what healthy looks like. For someone who's 5'3" 115 is a fine weight. And to reiterate an early response, no one gets to determine what weight feels good for you BUT you!!
  • When I got down to 130 people told me that I was too skinny and that I needed to quit working out. Then I realized that It was because I was no longer "the fat one", they were, and they didn't like it.
  • lilchino4af
    lilchino4af Posts: 1,292 Member
    The formula used by dietitians is usually at 5' start at 100 lbs., for every inch after that, add 5 lbs (for a medium frame). So, at 5'3" about 115 is perfecto.
    Sounds pretty close for me; I'm 5'9" and weigh 140, with a buffer of 145. While I'm happy with this weight, I would also like to tone up more. This will cause me to lose some more fat/weight but I'l regain that weight with muscle mass. I personally think 115-120 is fine for your height and how/what you eat if your choice; don't let anyone dictate different.
  • Disciplined74
    Disciplined74 Posts: 298 Member
    http://www.bing.com/bmi/search?q=bmi+calculator&domain=bmi&height=5'3"&weight=133

    There is a link you may want to share with them (or use yourself). It's a BMI calculator. I put in your height and weight and at 133 you came within normal range. However, based on your height your normal range looks like it's from about 110 to 135. Based on this you ARE within the normal range but on the high end of the normal range and definately have some pounds to play with.

    So know you are doing the right thing. This is all for you and how you feel. If you feel that you would like to loss a few, then do it.

    Keep up the good work.

    Eva
  • edorice
    edorice Posts: 4,519 Member
    I think you're doing just fine. You're building muscle on that frame and that is going to benefit in your old age. Many people don't realize that by doing NOTHING is worse for their bodies. They suffer from obesity and osteoporosis. You're doing just fine.
  • CakeFit21
    CakeFit21 Posts: 2,521 Member
    I have to deal with this too. I'm 5'-ish/125/ and recently had somebody tell me I was wasting away. Are you kidding me? Then she asked me why I felt the need to do "all this" . . . Uh, all what? Eat healthy and exercise everyday? RIDICULOUS!!!

    These goal numbers that we come up with usually aren't magic. They are guidelines set so people will be healthy. As long as we are trying to reach goals within that range it's healthy regardless of what our usually overweight friends and family think. Print out a weight chart and show them. Then maybe they won't worry so much. I agree, sometimes when we have success others feel shame and that is not our fault.

    On the other point, what you put into your body whether you are a vegan or ovo-lacto or whatever is 100% personal choice. We should all be thinking about where our food comes from and what it takes to get it onto our plates. There are a zillion reasons people choose to eat the foods they do but when they ask you why, all you have to say is, "Because I want to." Another thing to remember is that for some people no matter what reasons you tell them it will never be good enough.
  • SoliQ
    SoliQ Posts: 158 Member
    I get the same from my family (mom and sister) I'm 4'10 and weight 130, they say I would not look healthy, I'm doing it for myself and because I want to be healthy for my kids, I do not starve and I eat what I want except that I count the calories and do my workouts regularly. Just smile at them and do your thing that you enjoy and makes you happy.
  • GiGi76
    GiGi76 Posts: 876 Member
    lol THANK YOU!! Yes I am sooo in the same boat! People think I look good now and going too far & slightly obsessive. THANK GOD my husband is in my corner! Today my mom said so when are you going to be finished...my response "NEVER" lol! Then I go on to explain how I am healthy and working out and eating right and to me OVERALL doesn't matter what size I am and what scale says I'll know when I've met my goal. I want a six pack and EVERYTHING to be tight ! Until then I will not go into maintenance mode.
    I've found that most are jealous of looks and discipline others, though concerned, need to back off LOL I get tired of defending my choice for healthy living....Hey if I don't have an eating discorder or using drugs get off my back ....i'm very vocal LOL
    Overall I keep what Im doing to myself and a few choice cheerleaders ;)

    Glad to know we are kind of in the same boat!!! My husband is on my side about it too.... it kills me because when i did weight 115lbs they never said i was to skinny!!! Im like you, in that my mom asked when i was going to stop and i said never and she was like that cant be good for you working out so hard.... (she watched me workout one day at her home)!!! And im like this is whats wrong with our society and why everyone is over weight!!! I will not go to maintenance mode until i get the body that i want!!!
  • We have very similar measurements and goals!
    I'd say that your family is just concerned that you may think that they thought you weren't "worthy" in their eyes. They probably don't want you to have low self esteem or feel like they are to blame if there is an issue. And I don't know what their lifestyles are like but they are probably jealous that you are staying motivated and working so hard!
  • GiGi76
    GiGi76 Posts: 876 Member
    We have very similar measurements and goals!
    I'd say that your family is just concerned that you may think that they thought you weren't "worthy" in their eyes. They probably don't want you to have low self esteem or feel like they are to blame if there is an issue. And I don't know what their lifestyles are like but they are probably jealous that you are staying motivated and working so hard!

    no self esteem issues here, just wanted to get healthy and lose a little weight!!!
  • atynk
    atynk Posts: 400 Member
    According to healthy weight charts you can be anywhere from 113-141 and be healthy. So you go ahead and make your goal what you would like (within healthy range) and when they say it again, maybe show them the chart to assure them that in fact you are still well within your range.

    I am having the same experience myself. at 5"8 and 144 I am in the middle of my healthy range. I could go as low at 125 and still be heathy. Will I? Probably not. but i did have my body fat analyzed and i am at 27%- healthy but at the higher range, so i feel like I could still stand to lose some fat- even though people keep telling me I have zero fat lol..
    do it for you !!
  • Many people say that to me you don't need to lose weight or you don't need to lose anymore your going to look sick I be thinking whatever I really don't care what other people see it matters what I see and think and til you reach that point nothing else mattrers. Keep doing what you doing you look great and your doing an awesome job!
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